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The Big Picture - How You REALLY Meet "Ms. Right"
by Playboy
of Cutting Edge Image Consultants
March 30th, 2006
You see, I started teaching guys how to make the right moves, and spin the right words, into a sexual encounter. I was able to teach this because I was able to do this. In the end though, I was bored with the moves and lines, and felt that the REAL calling was a bit different.
Picking-up women is sort of like mining for fool’s gold. You definitely find some, and it looks GREAT – but take it to the jeweler, and you’ll find very little value there. And when you measure the time and energy spent devoted to the cause, you’ll find yourself in some serious debt – as I did.
So, if you want a girlfriend (as many guys do), the single BEST tip I can give you is this:
Cultivate Community
That’s really it. Women naturally expect to meet men via their friends and their social circle. They feel comfortable meeting men this way. Comfort is critical in a relationship. The irony is, most women will also tell you that they wish for men to approach them in social environments – bars, clubs, lounges, cafes etc. However, what typically happens is either a sexual attraction, or no lasting attraction.
The benefit of meeting via social circle or community is that you already have things in common which can feed the relationship. The more commonalities you share, the better. When you meet someone “cold”, the likelihood for commonalities is obviously lower.
So, how can we skillfully cultivate our community? Here are some ways:
1) Organize outings. The best way to nurture and expand a community is to gather together, and open invites out to others. Perhaps this means hosting a party, and inviting your friends. But, add the additional flavor of having each guest bring someone that no one else will know. This way, you automatically meet new people, and the community thrives.
2) Be a leader. I have a friend who knows the various bouncers at the clubs here in New York. He organizes groups of friends to go to a cool restaurant followed by hitting some of the hottest clubs in NYC. The key here is that he is in charge, and is seen as the leader of the group. It becomes easier then for him to meet the new people (women) in the group, and he is naturally more attractive by being in the center position.
3) Test the group. Organize events and outings where people are challenged and forced to grow. This might seem an odd idea, but let me explain. When you go through an emotionally expanding experience with other people, your bond naturally strengthens. I remember when I was younger, my parents and I would always attend a whitewater rafting trip with friends. Afterwards, the members of the group would be closer, having been through this challenge together. In fact, three new couples were born out of these trips.
So, my basic rule of thumb is, if you are looking to get laid, go out to bars and clubs, bring a condom and have a blast. If you are looking for a girlfriend, cultivate a lifestyle which feeds you happiness, and watch as you meet the right woman almost effortlessly. The effort should be towards living a life which reflects you, and brings you in contact with like-minded people.
Hope that helps guys.
Best,
Playboy
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