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Be the Right Man for the Right Job
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
November 28th, 2006
Have you ever wanted to have a relationship with a woman, only to find out that she doesn’t want a relationship right now?
Or the flip side of that, have you ever wanted to have sex with a woman, but she tells you that she can’t have sex outside of a relationship?
I don’t know about you, but for the longest time, I found myself on the wrong side of a woman’s desires for sex and relationships all the time. It was like I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, all the time.
Now, many years later, and with a lot of education about women under my belt, I realize that while sometimes I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, I was also being the wrong man at the wrong time.
It may not be surprising to think realize that some women are looking for just a committed relationship and that others are looking for sex. In my experience, often this happens in cycles where a girl gets out of a relationship (usually a long one), wants to play the field for awhile, gets bored of that, then wants a relationship again.
What you might be surprised to know is that there is a more basic cycle at work that has an effect on when almost all women would be looking more for relationship material or for sex.
Simply stated, that cycle is their menstrual cycle.
Researchers have found that at the times of peak fertility in a woman’s menstrual cycle they are more inclined to casual sex, and less so during their infertile times. They have even proved that a woman’s preference in men changes as well.
At their peak fertile point (usually mid-cycle) women have been shown to prefer men with more masculine, handsome faces. The theory is that these men have the best genes and so it makes the most sense for a woman to want sex with them because then their children will also have good genes.
At their least fertile point, women have been shown to prefer men with softer, less masculine features. The theory is that these men would be better fathers, more devoted and less likely to stray away in search of other women.
Put it all together and the idea is that at some unconscious level, women want to have uncommitted sex with the good looking, dominant, high testosterone masculine type man who will give them a child with the best genes. But at the same time, they want more of the caring, new age sensitive guy to be the steady father who will have the resources necessary to bring up the child.
If this all isn’t clear to you, just imagine it with a few examples. Sometimes there is a part of a woman who wants to sleep with the muscular gardener, but marry the rich estate owner. Have a dirty affair with the biker, but walk down the aisle with the lawyer. Bang the captain of the football team underneath the bleachers, but have her high school sweetheart bring her flowers every week.
If you were a human chameleon, you could shape shift into each of these at the right time. That would be cool. But obviously that isn’t very realistic.
And unless you have access to those cool flesh masks like they wear in the Mission Impossible movies, you aren’t going to have much luck changing your face to look super masculine.
But what I realized is that you can still ACT like the masculine guy or ACT like the nice guy depending on what you need at the time. This is actually more powerful than just looking like the right guy, because even a good looking guy who acts like a wallflower isn’t going to get anywhere with the ladies.
So my advice is that if you are looking primarily for casual sex that you emphasize your masculine traits and body language», etc. Now you might think that if you want a relationship, you should do the opposite and emphasize your “nice guy” traits. But I hope those of you who have read my newsletters so far will realize that a pure nice guy approach isn’t going to do the trick. Instead, if you are looking for a relationship, start with a mix of the masculine guy and nice guy, and keep a good balance throughout. Being both the “right guys” at the right time is the best approach.
Also, just because the research found that women had greater preferences for the different types of men in different times of their menstrual cycles doesn’t really mean that much. Women will still react to the different types of men in the ways we discussed above at all times of their cycles, it’s up to you to display the right behavior.
So the key for you is to be the right man for the job, at the right time. What that ‘job’ is depends on what you want. And if you need help acting the parts, you know what I am going to suggest.
This newsletter will self destruct in 5 seconds…
Ray Devans
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