The Top Pickup Artist Forum On The Internet: Fast Seduction 101

“Q&A: The Attitude For Approaching Women” – November 26, 2002

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hi Dave

I’m 59 years old and I can vouch for the fact that this stuff works no matter how old you are! I’ve generally done reasonably well with women but I never really understood why. Now I get it, and its as if someone turned the light on. I have dates coming out of my ears, girls in their twenties, thirties and forties call me up or text me all the time. After I bought your book I went out clubbing on a mission to get phone numbers. Got five which is not bad for an old man and these chicks were all in their twenties and I dated one of them later. I’m halfway through the audio series now and that stuff is absolute dynamite!

Couple of C&F incidents which your readers might like. I’m in this 400 year old pub/restaurant just paying for my meal and complementing the barmaid for the excellent food when this snooty pair of girls in their late twenties sitting at the bar said “Don’t thank her — thank the chef”. I asked “You seem to know everyone here — did you used to work here?” “No, we used to live here in the village. We’ve been around as long as the furniture” Quick as a flash I came back with. “Really? What… 120 years old. No..I wouldn’t have put you as a day over (pause) 110.” This absolutely cracked them up. Unfortunately I was with another woman so I did not get their numbers. But this punched straight through the snooty persona.

Just walking down the high street mid morning when I see this bunch of girls dressed up as cowboys leading a pantomime horse collecting money for charity. I walked up to the tallest blondest best looking one and said “When is it your turn to be the back end of the horse?”. The classic deer caught in the headlights look on her face. Who is this guy insulting me? Then she cracked up and said she worked in HSBC bank and I should come over and see her. Still with C&F I said “What, dressed like that!” Maybe I will follow that one up and maybe I won’t.

Got to go now — hot lunchtime date with a leggy 24 year old blonde. An 8.5 on the richter scale.

Keep up the good work.

Cheers,

H.
Newquay, Cornwall

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Aside from the fact that your stories area GREAT and inspiring… they also bring up a little-known or not- often-realized point. And that point is that it’s VERY COMMON for younger women to be attracted to older men who are interesting and charming.

And no, I’m not talking about Ann Nicole Smith and her four thousand year old bazillionairre ex husband who only survived one year of her whining mouth before checking out.

I was just on the phone yesterday with one of the guys who came to my New York seminar in September… he’s in his late 40s and he’s dating beautiful women in their 20s and 30s, and having no problems at all.

If you have game, your age doesn’t matter much at all.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I have been reading your stuff (ebook & n/letters) for a while now and have been enjoying some new experiences. Although I think your stuff is bang-on, I am still having a lot of trouble. I am a pretty shy, quiet, introverted type of guy and as such, have never had much success with women. I am 31yrs old, pretty decent looking , fit/active, gainfully employed, etc so don’t have to worry about that stuff. But as you so often mention, that’s not what really matters anyway. I can get phone #s, get 1st coffee dates and often 2nd dates but when I try to take things to the next level, that’s where it usually ends. When I first go out with someone, she seems quite interested at first but that seems to fade fairly quickly as if I am doing something to turn them off. There’s always lots of “awkward silences” and “talking about the weather”. Its always like she seems bored and I’m struggling for things to say/talk about which usually ends in her hitting the road. I did used to be overly “nice” and “wussy” but have started doing that way less now yet something still lacks. I really have a hard time with the whole teasing/flirting/ C&F stuff you always go on about. Which is probably the trouble, eh? How do I overcome this and start incorporating this stuff into my dating when it seem so unnatural to me? Also, I am somewhat inexperienced sexually which occasionally concerns me… how can one prevent that from getting in the way of success ? I hope you can answer my questions as I’d really appreciate your help. Thanks and keep up the good work!

AB, BC Canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, the first thing I want to point out is that at some point in your life EVERYTHING felt unnatural to you.

This is just another skill you’re going to need to learn.

Don’t let the idea that you’ve been shy up until now lead to a mental block about the issue. Just get out there and practice and work with the materials.

Next, it’s probably a good idea for you to start ONLINE.

Get an AOL account or some free instant messenger account and start messaging women to chat. Chatting online gives you time to consider what you’re going to say, and it keeps distractions to a minimum. There’s no body language^» to deal with, etc.

Every day, take some time to read the sections in Double Your Dating^» on humor and being Cocky & Funny, and then get online and practice. If you have my CD Series, then listen to the sections on communicating with women as well.

Finally, you really need to make friends with a couple of guys who are good with women, and WATCH what they do in person. You’ll learn a lot by combining what you’ve learned with the real-world experience of watching guys in person who are skilled at attracting women. This combination should help you get up to speed much faster.

***QUESTION***

Jedi Master Dave,

I was receiving your newsletters for a while and finally went and bought your ebook. And that book is absolute gold!! I had become single again and had not remembered the true art of meeting women until now. But I recently ran into a problem. I was at a party and met this girl, we’ll call her Cat. She was about an 8 or so. I was totally using the C & F routine on her and she was just eating it up. At this party they only had beer and I wanted to drink something else so as I was leaving I turned and asked Cat to go with me. As we got into the car I had “accidentally” left my book on palm reading on the passenger seat. And so when she saw this book she asked read her palm right there in the car. And of course I told her no, maybe later. So we got back to the party and started reading her palm and I totally freaked out! It was a blast!!! Palm reading is the ultimate bridge! It worked amazingly!! I had told her because of the size of the pad of her thumb that she was very sensitive to touch, and slowly ran my fingers up her arm!! It was great!! So we were hanging out and then I found out one of my best friends was in the bathroom puking his brains out. So being the good friend that I am I had to go and check on him and make sure he was alive. So when I came back to Cat there was this guy (that I went to high school with) talking with her, when I arrived he had left. And Cat told me that the guy had told her some interesting stuff about me. But she refused to tell me what he had said. So then she went to kiss me and I turned my head and refused to kiss her and I walked away and started talking to some friends of mine. So she came up to me and told me what he said. He had told her that I was a player and to be careful of me. So then the whole rest of the night she kept on dropping little hints about me being a player. I just denied it and said that yes I do go out with a lot of women but I don’t “play” them. So then things started getting pretty hot and heavy between us. And she kept on saying “she never does stuff like this with someone she just met” and “this is moving very fast” and she had this guard up, how would I go about getting this guard down when she already has this idea in her head that I’m a player?! Also in your book you say not to tell them where you work, live, etc… so then what do you say when they ask you about it?!

Thanx for your wisdom,
M in Chicago

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Wow, cool friend from highschool.

I really love JACKASS guys who like to tell women negative things about you because they’re insecure and have no game.

Charming, isn’t it?

OK, great job… you’re on track here.

You were actually doing fine, and you didn’t even realize it…

If you’re getting “hot and heavy” with a woman you’ve just met, and she starts saying things like “I don’t do this kind of thing with someone I just met” or “this is moving fast” it doesn’t mean that she’s not enjoying it! And it also doesn’t mean she wants to stop.

Often, women just aren’t used to getting physically involved with a guy so quickly, and their self image is telling them that this is unusual.

If you want to make light of the situation, just stop kissing and say “OK, well then let’s just be friends”. After she opens her mouth with a shocked look, then KISS her again.

When you hear a woman say “this is moving very fast”, just realize that you’re doing the RIGHT things, not the wrong things. “I don’t usually do stuff like this with someone I’ve just met” usually translates into “But I’m about to do it now”.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If a woman ever asks you to stop, pushes you away, or indicates that she does not want to continue directly, then by all means stop. Never force yourself on a woman. If you do, you’re a dumb ass and deserve all the love and affection you’ll be getting from BUBBA, your new penmate.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

what else can I say but thank you. You changed my life completely. Before reading your book I had had 3 other girlfriends throughought my life, I’m 19 so maybe some people wouldnt nesesarily see that as a bad thing. But let me tell you, after you expirience this type of new found dramatical change, you definitely come out a happy camper. Now I can finally say with all honesty “I GET IT”. I’ve only encountered one problem with your techiniques (a problem that most guys would kill for). When your confident, you come across many women who pretend to be confident^» at first glance but after you start busting on them they paralize, they totally freeze withought knowing what to say, and then they come out with some dumb comment trying to be funny. I know it sounds mean, but a wussy woman is equaly as unatractive to an overly confident guy as a wussy boy to an attractice confident woman (sure it can be fun). Oh well, I guess its just one of those things I’ll have to live with until I find a woman with the same mentality. Oh and you know what I reaaaaaaaaaally love doing in those cases, that whole thing of taking two steps foward and one back, its great seeing women chasing you for a change. So a word of personal advice for you, (like many women have already sugested). You should market this product for women. Man, I can only imagine how much fun that would be.

Later bro, thanx again.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh yes, isn’t it great when you start to see how this whole thing really works?

And yes, a “Wussy Woman”, as you put it, isn’t very attractive when you have choices.

Good job, and thanks for the email and comments.

***QUESTION***

Hey man.

I love your stuff, and anyone who doubts that this cocky and funny stuff works is either blind or simply has not tried it. I have a question though… would it be to my advantage to use cocky and funny lines while *in the process* of making love to a woman? I’m not talking about during foreplay or using it to turn her on or after the sex when she’s curled up next to you in bed, I mean DURING actual intercourse. Is this the one time that you should give cocky and funny a rest and be serious and intimate, or would you say a woman would enjoy a little teasing while in the act?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a sensitive subject, and it’s a GREAT question.

Being Cocky & Funny is all about flirting, teasing, and communicating with a woman in a way that shows that you’re not at all intimidated by her.

It’s not about hurting a woman, making her feel bad, or being abusive in any way.

But when you’re making love, it’s a special situation.

Most people let their emotional guard down during the process of having sex, and it’s probably not a good time to tease and bust on a woman.

That’s my two cents on the subject.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

Just thought I would share my recent success. I’ve been trying the online personal stuff to get some practice. At first I would send the following WUSSY email:

“I saw your profile and think we might have some things in common. I have included my profile for you. Please let me know if you are interested in knowing more. Hope to talk to you soon”

As you can guess not many responses and those who did, not very desirable. But with your help I changed my approach and almost have to fight them back with a stick. Here is my new and improved response.

“Saw your profile and I think you deserve a chance to get to know me. I think we could get along well. I’ve included my profile. If you are interested (which I know you will be). drop me a line, and if you sound as interesting as your profile says I might write back ;)”

Guys this stuff works. Also just received the CD’s, great work. They have helped changed my life and not just in the dating world.

Thanks for all your hard work.

R.
New Orleans, La

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Love it.

If you act like a Wussy, women will not be attracted to you… it’s just that simple.

Your first response sounded weak and AVERAGE. It sounded like every other guy in the world.

Your second is Cocky, Funny, and playful. Women aren’t interested in being BORED TO TEARS by some uninteresting guy who says “Hi, here’s my profile, please let me know if you’re interested in knowing more”. They want a challenge, they want electricity… they want someone who can hold their interest.

Women aren’t interested in finding another FRIEND when it comes to dating and romance. They want someone who makes them feel ATTRACTION!

***QUESTION***

You are the man. Never have I had this kind of success with women. You deserve major props. I was the typical wussie boy that would do just about anything to get the girl, then I got your newsletters and started seeing how much success these guys were having with women. Finally, after about 5 or more months of procrastinating, I decided I needed a change in my life and took action. On to my success story… I was at this party last night with a couple of friends, and the girl to guy ratio was very small, then I saw this one girl come in at least a 8.5, ok, so she was a 9. At first she didn’t seem to interested in talking with me, so I laid on a comment about the outfit she was wearing. She chuckled about it. So we talked, well I talked and she just laughed. After about 3-5 minutes, she decides she wants to dance with me. I refuted until she gave in, then I went out to dance. She followed right behind me. So after all was said and done, she gave me her number and a peck on the cheek. Thus, I didn’t get to talk to any of the other girls either. And this is where I have a question, how can you bring an effective end to a conversation without having to leave the scene?

You’re Ever So Grateful Student,

AD, Connecticut

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, the problem in these types of situations is that most guys don’t want to get a woman’s number, then be seen talking to other women or getting other numbers because they don’t want to be seen as “players” or as insincere.

Get over it.

If you enjoy talking to a woman, and you’d like to get her number AND go talk to other people, just say “Here, write down your email and number. I’m going to get back to my friends” and DO IT.

You’re only going to be seen as more interesting if you are talking to all the women at the party.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hey Davemeister, I was wondering if cocky and funny techniques would work for a woman? I have been getting your newsletters for several months now and I love reading all the success stories. It is interesting to see the male psyche in action. I can agree with so much of what you say. Women hate wusses!!! I just wondered if guys would buy into a woman acting funny and cocky. I can play off of a guy who is being cocky and funny, but have never tried it as a pick up. Any advice for the females?

SH ~Nashville~

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Cocky & Funny works GREAT for women.

Unfortunately, most guys are total WUSSES, and therefore can’t handle it.

I’m doing my very best to change this, but it might take a little while…

You’ll find that most guys will buckle if you bust on them too much too early… but this is kind of a good thing, because it weeds out the girly-men early for you… and helps you find ME faster.

Kiss Kiss

***QUESTION***

David:

I just keep improving and I owe most of it to you. I wrote to you a while ago and said my “new life” at college was off to a great start. Well, things are getting even better. I have more girls than I can remember the names of who are positively desperate for my attention (I’ve learned their name comes up eventually, its not that hard to fake it…LOL).

Though I struggled with this it at first, I have learned an important lesson regarding success… even though I am much happier now, I keep the same desire to succeed as when I was unhappy. By maintaining a constant desire to succeed (which can be hard as people tend to be content with what they have when they should continue to do what made them happy in the first place) I will get better and better and more good results will come.

However, part of getting better is talking to masters, and since you’ve taught me as much as anyone, I pose a question to you:

You have oft said to avoid cocky and funny at the VERY beginning, and bring it in later, and my experiences reflect this. I have found that there is a fairly large percentage of girls who do not respond well to this type of interaction when you are trying to get her email.

Certainly a large enough percentage to make me convinced that there has to be a better way.

Your ebook details specific things to say in this critical first 3 minutes, but as we both know, what you say is not nearly as important as how you say it. So my question is, what has worked best for you in terms of what characteristics to convey in this first interaction? If not cocky and funny, then what?

Thanks again,
R

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I love you, man. And that’s not my mineral water talking.

This is a VERY intelligent question. I wish I would have thought of it myself.

You’re right. I’ve found that if you want to just walk up to a woman and walk away with her number 3 minutes later that it’s better to be more DIRECT about it.

If you’re in a bar, and the girl standing next to you starts up a conversation, then it makes sense to move right into the flirting, Cocky & Funny attitude.

But if you want to approach women and get numbers/emails quickly, then you need something a little different.

I personally think that you need to convey a direct, matter of fact air of “this is the most natural thing in the world”.

If you act like it’s normal and natural, then she will.

If you act uncomfortable and nervous, then she will do that too.

Most guys are very nervous about approaching and starting conversations with women. They get all uptight and start acting sketchy at just the THOUGHT of walking up to a woman and asking her for her number.

If you can just realize that women WANT to meet men, and that they want men to approach them, it makes you consider that women probably want guys who aren’t acting nervous and insecure. Right?

So be direct.

If you’d like, you can use the “One Compliment” approach.

Give her a compliment to start the conversation (but don’t give her any more for a LOOOOOONG time).

Pause to create an air of mystery.

Try “Hi, you are… … beautiful and I had to take a moment to meet you.”

The pause is priceless. Look directly into her eyes as you talk… and as you pause. This communicates that you’re NOT AFRAID of her.

Then make small talk for a minute. Ask her name, ask her if she’s from the area, etc. Then use the 3 Minutes email/ number technique.

The objective is to get her information, not to start an interesting dialogue.

Now, if you want to ask her to coffee right on the spot, etc. then you might want to be Cocky & Funny right off the bat.

Remember that there’s always time to show off your Cocky & Funny charm the next time you see her.

…and that about wraps it up.

If you’re reading this right now, and you’d like to learn more about how to approach women, get numbers, get more dates, and have more success with women in general, then I’d highly recommend that you check out my new CD Audio Program “Advanced Dating Techniques“.

It includes over 12 FULL HOURS of me teaching exactly what to do in order to attract the kinds of women that you’ve always wanted.

You’ll learn literally DOZENS of ways to meet and approach women, including some of my personal secrets that I don’t teach anywhere else (except my seminars).

All the details, plus several free sample clips are at:

[products info link]

And if you haven’t downloaded my eBook “Double Your Dating” and the three bonus booklets that come along with it, then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY. It’s the foundation for everything I teach in these newsletters, and it’s the best place to start. Go here for all the details:

[ebook download link]

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

***If you’d like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines***

1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.

2) Tell me what’s working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the “Your stuff is great” and “I don’t need to tell you how well your stuff works” comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics… because this helps other guys to see what’s working in different situations.

3) If you have a Success Story, write “Success Story” in the subject line of the email. I read these first.

4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you’re from.

5) Send it to me at:

[newsletter sign-up link]

…don’t just hit “reply” to this email. Thanks!