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People are always staring at him
4/5/01 6:02:11 PM Eastern Daylight Time
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Ross:
>Jeff:
>I'd like to ask for advice from the list particularly from all the guys
>experienced in seducing strippers. There is this stripper I am working on
>and I'm trying hard not to put too much importance on her but it is very
>difficult. First of all my objective is to make her my girlfriend.
Whoa! A stripper??? For a GIRLFRIEND? Ok.....but be sure that is
what you want. How about a nice, firecracker, fun evening of banging
and then, sayanora. Dude, you might want to redefine your outcome. If
you like emotional instability, drug usage, flakiness, mood swings,
stalking and a host of other problems, ok.
>It's hard to get her attention in the club because when she goes on stage
>every guy rushes up to tip her and she never has a problem getting guys to
>buy dances. Two Saturdays ago I went up to her while she was on stage and
>said, "What does a guy have to do to convince your wondrous self to come
>talk to him?"
Don't EVER go into a club on a Saturday, Friday or Thursday night.
UNLESS you go in near closing (say an hour before) and so with some
bi-girl(s) for bait.
>She says ok and apologizes again and hugs me again. I playfully tell
>her she'll have to make it up to me next time and she says, "I will. I
>promise!"
Ha ha. A stripper saying "I promise". Isn't that like a movie studio
executive saying, "Trust me!" HA HA HA HA HA.
> her mother
>is an alcoholic but she really loves both her parents.
Danger! WARNING. Apples don't fall far from trees: Newton's FIFTH Law.
> She seems pretty
>intelligent and well adjusted as far as dancers go.
Ha ha ha. "He was pretty straightforward and TRUSTWORTHY....as far as
LAWYERS GO!"
>My
>plan now is to go back in about 2 weeks and read her Bishop's Warm Fuzzy.
If
>anyone can give me any other input I would greatly appreciate it.
Dude, if she even remembers who you are in 2 weeks, I'll be shocked.
TIMING is crucial. Usually with these girls, if you don't close them
THAT night, you can forget it. There are exceptions to every rule.
But 2 weeks is a lifetime to these women.
>John:
> On the 2nd tape the voice of the interviewer
>sounds exactly like Ross J. I found the "Dating Dictionary" met my
>expectations and the author has a very entertaining writing style. I
>thought it was $99 well spent............
That's because it IS me. I used to hang out with this guy back in the
mid-1980's. His "system" is more about NOT losing....avoiding pain
and creating challenge than anything else. Good old Tom Hodges.....ha
ha ha. Still around...
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David:
>Max:
>I'm often intimidated by pretty girls looks only to find out later (often
>when the opportunity is gone), that she is ONLY A GIRL. The question is,
HOW DO
>YOU HOOK THAT CONCEPT INTO YOUR NEUROLOGY? That this reality becomes a
>natural part of one's perception. And please, don't suggest practice.
To help myself get over the attractiveness of beautiful women and treat them
like everyone else, I do not bother talking to them if there isn't something
besides their looks or my desire to fuck them to talk about. Once you get
past that desire to instantly fuck them, the mind opens up to whole new
worlds of possibilities with them.
Maybe Max can ask himself what things about a pretty girl keep her out of
the 'only a girl' category. I've found that once you start talking with
people and not to people, that a lot of preconceived notions about who they
are and what they are going to be like start to fade away.
Ross has been fond of talking about the instant connection. To me, one of
the truly wonderful aspects of that sensation comes from being able to
experience it with anyone. And having experienced the experience of truly
connecting with someone's perspective on the world, you start to realize
that more than your single perspective exists out there.
I guess the point that I'm trying to get at is this... at one of the most
basic, simplistic levels we are dealing with people. There are beautiful
people with beautiful hearts, and drop dead gorgeous people with bitter
hatreds... overweight slobs with keen sensitivities and ugly, nasty
individuals who leave pain in their wake. Just because a woman is pretty
does not mean she isn't an intriguing creature with wants to desires that
can be expressed. To me, bringing those out is the most fun of the pickup
ritual.
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Berty:
Met this girl the other day she's in massage school. We talked
and told jokes. After which we exchanged e-mail too talk and exchange
jokes, I asked her if she liked poems, she said she'd liked to read some.
After
I sent her the first one, this is what I got from her..
beautiful poem. Even I could understand it! : ). If you have
more I would love to hear them. I would also like to come visit you again
sometime I just don't know when that will be quite yet. Once I am done with
school in three weeks I will have lots of time. We will have to pick a day
then. I have another joke for you....
So, I sent her a second one and this is what I got back from
her....
>I enjoyed working with you the first time through school.
However, I think that you took more of a liking to me then I had hoped.
Your poems are a little too sensual and I don't feel them appropriate.
Please do
not e-mail those types of poems anymore, they make me uncomfortable. I do
have a boyfriend as you know, and he isn't happy with what you send me
and neither am I.
So, can someone help formulate a response to this.....
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Magic Juan:
This is a response to a really old one (just catching up!) and
really not related to seduction. The question was credited to Halbster.
>Halbster:
>I am curious about how guys consider there cars in relation to
seduction.
>I'm not talking about what you drive, but how you keep it, and
what you keep
>in your car. Because of my busy schedule I kinda live out of
>my car.
Well, if you can't stick to a rule like "don't eat in your car",
then at the very least, become more consistently aware of trash cans.
Make it a habit that each time you step out of your car, you will look for
anything that can be thrown away (even if you didn't just eat). You'll
be delighted to notice how readily available trash cans are.
Brookstone sells a small car litter bag holder that hangs off
the back of the passenger seat. It also holds a tissue box underneath (in a
pinch tissues can substitute as napkins). It doesn't hold a ton of
trash, but if you have an immediate need to throw away a soda can or a
wrapper which might contain crumbs, they are useful. So, taking the same
trash that would have been maybe tossed to the passenger seat, you instead
put it somewhere that makes you seem like a neatnik. Hope you've got a
compartment where you can keep spare small trash bags.
Get used to going down to the vacuums at the car wash often,
even if you don't wash your car. Also, get one or two of those giant wet
towels and just LOOK for surfaces to clean. Most stains come off even if
they don't seem to at first.
>It also probably causes them to think I'm a slob.
You're a slob : ). With a little creativity though, you can
appear neat without having to interrupt your lifestyle much.
>My car typically has some changes of clothing, gym bags/gym
equipment, What's in your trunk?
>a few books and magazines,
Where's your mapholder? What could you put in your car that
could serve as a small magazine rack or book shelf? Make it something
portable that can easily be stuffed in the trunk just BEFORE you pick her
up (unless there's reading material you're hoping she'll see).
>a bag of pretzels,
Hmmm. I don't suppose installing a kitchenette is practical.
And I suppose these pretzels are open? So that when you move
them the crumbs spill on the seat? It might be more expensive, but
what about buying smaller bags of pretzels that you can eat in one
shot? How about one of those large lunch bags that are thermally
insulated? You could keep snacks in 'em but they'll still look reasonable
neat.
>a few audiobooks, a music tape,
Cassette holders, dude. My car is full of cassette and cd
holders. They don't look that messy (partly cuz both they and the seats are
black). Yet, I still have enough music with me.
>things I need for work (mainly papers, and work related
reading),
Ahem. Brief case.
>and some small things I like to keep (a Dictaphone,
moisturizer,
>hand sanitizer *use sparingly b/c it kills good bacteria &
dries skin,
>tissues, nail clipper) etc.
Small toiletry bag. Or maybe you could use some of the
compartments in your gym bag. You are using these things after the gym
anyway right? Or are you getting into your car all sweaty so that it soaks
into the seat?
So I guess my answer is: find portable places to hide these
things in.
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Jeff:
>Superfusion:
>I saw Sisonpyh's post and in keeping with Sisonpyh's concept of
telling
>the babes something very profound, I expanded on his language
to form a
>pattern that is pretty damn powerful. See what you think:
>
>"You don't have me fooled for a minute, dear." When she says
"What are you
>talking about?"you say "You don't fool me for a minute with
this act that
>you
>put on. I can see right thru that false mask that you wear when
you are
with
>people. Now, I know that most men probably fall for this
persona of yours.
>You try to put out this attitude that says: 'I'm beautiful and
>super-confident and even arrogant and aloof and indifferent and
so you
>always get your way' because most men buy this act, so, for
most of your
>adult life, you've been able to get by on your looks ... but I
know
>something about you that none of them know... and that is this:
that there's
>really another side of you. The side that none of THEM get to
see. The side
>of you that's on the inside. I can tell there's something else
going on
>inside of you that is completely different from what you show
on the outside
>to the rest of the world. (I'll bet you a dollar right now that
I know else
>something about you that no one who's only known you for 5
minutes has EVER
>known... )...
Do you just leave this part out if you've known her awhile, or
can you not do this on girls you already know? It seems really powerful.
Have you tried it?
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Peta:
Clifford, have you seen this one..the guy who runs it in the UK wrote me
about it....
www.seductionsystems.co.uk
Seems like a take off of the Ross stuff.. But then again, it's just using
language patterns isn't it!
I've been invited to Ross's seminar in the UK, so I'll report back to your
list what it was like from a female point of view..!!
My book 'Flirt Coach' comes out in the States and Canada in July so I'm
hoping to come over and do some TV/radio/press promos... It's selling well
here!
My Comment: Peta is the Director of The Flirting Academy
and she is giving a 1-Day Introduction to Success Flirting playshop - Sunday
June 3rd London, SW3. Her website is at www.flirtingacademy.com
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Kevin:
I can understand that to sweep a HB off her feet you need to get something
going with them that same day. However, this would not be treating her as
though she was a 7, and it may mean you are impressed by her beauty.
Wouldn't you be behaving as though being in a hurry thus putting her on a
pedestal? Maybe I did not understand what you mean by getting something
going. Can you give examples, please?
I am now chatting with an HB over the internet, she told me she likes me
from
my photo. However she has a broken heart cause her ex bf left her because
he
said he wants to enjoy himself (great guy, he must be). I think I made a
mistake by telling her I put her photo as a wallpaper lol. Now soon she's
going for a 2 week holiday and says that between study and packing is too
busy to meet me this week. I want to get in control of the situation. I gave
her my mobile number, always supposed to call but did not yet. I am not
going to ask her for her number, I don't think it would be a good idea. I
have to generate interest in her, however, maybe at times I lost control due
to her beauty, and I don't want to repeat mistakes. What should be my next
move? Should I press to get something going before she leaves for the
holiday or wait? By the way, she told me she does not want to meet also
cause
I would miss her. I told her "Oh, I appreciate your modesty". She told me
why I don't think she's modest and I replied that "Do you think I'm gonna
miss you just by meeting one day. Do you call that modest" ?
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Linda:
>Becky: Hey, Cliff your emails are for guys. What about us women? Unless
>they look like me, they are shit out of luck. LOL
>
>My Comment: I think that some women have a real charm that can (to a
>degree) overcome their looks, but I agree with you that most women unless
>they are attractive are shit out of luck. Fortunately, what is attractive
>to one can be different than what is attractive to another.
>
>I think that we have all seen ugly or plain people with attractive people
of
>the opposite sex and I bet that there are things that unattractive women
can
>do (other than attract golddiggers) to get good looking guys. There was
some
>discussion of this on my list awhile ago, but not enough. Comments?
I agree, Clifford. I think you can be "plain" and attractive! I am not the
greatest looking woman, I have black hair and I am very flat-chested and I
have been able to get good looking guys. My husband, for one. He always has
gay men as well as straight women going after him all the time. People are
always staring at him, both men and women. I get dirty looks from
conventionally pretty women -- they look at him and then they look at
me -- they're puzzled as to why someone like him would be with someone like
me. How did I get him? And how did I get him in to marry me? I did a lot of
the SS techniques. They work on men. Actually, it's probably a lot easier on
men. In general, I paid attention to his language and his nonverbals and
found out as much about him as I could and I made him laugh and have fun
whenever he was around me. No nagging. No berating him. No sense of
entitlement. I don't make him kiss my ass. I create an atmosphere in which
he wants to do things for me, he wants to make me happy. Did and still do a
lot of the leading and capturing of his imagination. Tons of sound and
physical anchors. I can pretty much predict his reactions because I know him
so well! It helps that he is a creature of habit. He's never met anyone like
me before -- which probably means he's never met anyone who paid attention
to him like me before! I never cease to amaze him. It also helps that he
makes
me laugh, he's smart, interesting and I think he is a great person -- in
addition to being a great-looking guy. He told me that he never told his
previous girlfriends "I love you." With me he says it at least ten times a
day.
You don't have to look like Pamela Anderson but it does help to look the
best you can possibly look -- be well-groomed, wear flattering clothing, and
hold yourself confidently. Be happy with yourself. I think that goes for
both men and women.
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Mr. Happy:
>Did you know that carriers *always* have asymptomatic shedding
What the hell is that? You shed, but it's not a symptom?
Where is the shedding? What's it look like exactly?
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NightLight9:
> Rio:
> Regarding the "Tao Of Steve" for those of you who've seen it, the main
> character (Dex) says the 2nd rule is to do "something excellent in her
> presence". Dex doesn't bother to say what that means, though the director
> implies something else. Would anybody care to elaborate on what
"excellence"
> (from what Dex says in the movie) is by example?? Not vague esoteric
> terms??? Much appreciated.
The Tao of Steve is very similar to my style. The idea of being excellent
is vague on purpose, because it's very flexible and changes from girl to
girl. It can mean things like displaying a skill (without looking like you
are
trying - this is very important):
Playing Guitar
Singing
Being awesome at snowboarding
Being awesome at basketball
It can involve doing something that she thinks is special (without looking
like you are trying - this becomes a metaphor for who you are and are
specific to different girls)
Helping someone unfortunate
Helping a turtle across the road
On a grander scheme, something like saving kids from a burning building.
It can involve being the alpha male» in a large group.
The key is it has to stand out and it can't be seen as an attempt at
impressing her. Dex is excellent typically by using his wit. I use all
different mechanisms. For instance the other day I picked up a 9 because I
discovered she was into big cats. I patterned on big cats like no tomorrow,
bang she's at my place two nights later.
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