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48 approaches a week for 6 months
12/27/01 9:54:53 AM Eastern Standard Time
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Here's a site to visit, but it's not what you might expect exactly:
http://www.thissitegotmelaid.com/
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Chris:
SPECIAL REPORT: Mystery teaches Sex Magic in Europe!
Beginning January 3, Mystery will conduct his 3 night Sex Magic workshop in
Belgrade, Serbia for 6 lucky students.
The dates for the Belgrade workshop are Thurs Jan 3, Fri 4 and Sat 5.
For workshop details go to www.mysterymethod.com.
Due to short notice (and a festive holiday spirit), Mystery has reduced the
$600 registration fee to a special Eastern European rate with significant
savings. Sign up now by emailing Chris Powles at CPo***0@ho***.com[ ? ].
Note that there is high interest in this rare European class, so students
will be accepted on a first come, first served basis. (However, a SECOND
workshop in Greece, Romania, or elsewhere in Europe is possible the
following week if time permits and demand warrants.)
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Roland (from private email):
Do you remember when you, me, the Doc and MTL_PUA went out that night and
that blonde asked me for a light?? Something like that seems very foreign
to me -- I still can't help but think she had an agenda (e.g. perhaps
talking with me because she wants to make some boyfriend of hers jealous,
or simply approaching me to meet someone else in the group, etc).
Cliff's Comment: As for that blonde that asked you for a light, I think
this comes right back to your attitude and nothing else. First rule from
David - Who cares what she thinks? Secondly, even if she had another
agenda, if you had the right attitude and were fun and interesting with
her, she'd probably forget all about that other guy that (probably doesn't
exist) you mention because she was enjoying herself so much talking with
you. If you just concentrated on having fun with her, not trying to pick
her up, you would have gotten her. She was the aggressor that night and
would have closed you. It all comes down to your attitude -- since you've
met him, do you think David got women based on his looks?
Roland:
As far as David's philosophy of "who cares what she thinks" that's all well and
good for most situations, but I don't want to be a part of any chick's
agenda or
be used in any way -- and don't want to even sarge her, because while you are
sarging her, she's getting her agenda fulfilled, and there is no guarantee
she'll
take to your SSing all the while she's getting what she wants...
Cliff's Comment:
I think you were completely off base with that chick. I don't think she
had a hidden agenda and if you had thought differently about it, I bet
you'd have closed the deal with her that night. I think you need to get
the idea that a woman has a hidden agenda out of your own head - whether
she has one or not is totally irrelevant. If you treat her like she does
(and, after all, you can't be sure that she does so you aren't giving her
the benefit of the doubt) of course you will blow it. Just think about it
the other way -- imagine if you had in your mind (and truly believed it,
which I know is the hard part) that this chick is attracted to you, that's
she's interested in you, etc. and those were the thoughts going through
your mind instead of "What game is she playing?" "What does she really
want?" etc. which are more likely wrong anyway).
A friend of mine recently separated from his wife after 13 years and he's
been getting laid like crazy -- he just jokes around with everyone and is
very forward with women (in a joking kind of way) and he's been doing
incredible. I estimate he's been getting laid 4 times a week and would be
every night if not for the few other things he does some nights. And he
really has no techniques - just an attitude of having fun with everyone he
meets.
As well, just by being friendly he's constantly being fixed up with
HB's. Just because a woman or a man may be 65 years old and of no direct
interest to you, surprise surprise they've got a stunning grand daughter
that they'd love to introduce to someone with a great sense of humour that
was nice to them for no reason at all.
You are your own worst enemy. I am not saying I am much better but I think
I at least recognize my shortcomings. When you finally say to yourself,
"The buck stops here" and stop running to different locations I think you
will be on the road to really solving this thing. The grass is not greener
elsewhere. I used to think that about Montreal - but I keep hearing how
this is pussy heaven from so many different guys I realize that it's not
them, it's me that hasn't been doing the right things to take advantage of
what is right under my nose. I think we all need to work on being as
charming, outgoing, and fun as possible and that alone is going to bring
all sorts of good things into your life, including a lot of women (or a
very a very special one).
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Brother Kermit:
Brother Kermit is currently compiling information to write up a "Rules of
Seduction" booklet. He asks that all Master Seducers and
Seducers-in-Training please writing to him at:
Bro***t@ho***.com[ ? ] Re: Rules of Seduction with the following
information. What are the 3 most important rules (or base
philosophies) that you follow as a seducer? Although there are
definitely more than just three, write in the three that are most
significant to you, with a very brief explanation.
For example:
Rule of Inequality
Men and women are not equal. As human beings both genders deserve equal
treatment and equal rights under the law, but men and women are not equal.
For that matter, no two women are equal, and no two men are equal.
Men and women have differences that go beyond the obvious biological ones
(genitals). They communicate and process information differently. One is
not better than the other; they are simply different, and a Master Seducer
MUST acknowledge this. The Master Seducer makes it a point to understand,
not necessarily agree with the way women communicate. A man who
communicates to women the way he would communicate to a man will usually
fail in seduction attempts. A Master Seducer learns how women process
information, and communicates with women on their level. A polish proverb
stated "Men fall in love with their eyes, a woman with her ears".
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Ross:
(Commenting on: "(Commenting on: "This is about keeping a woman, not
getting one. I've been thinking about this lately and here are my
thoughts: For the women I date I am like a drug. As a drug, I am probably
most like heroin; where as, I think most guys are more like cigarettes or,
even worse, the nicotine patch."):
Actually, it's an inaccurate idea about addiction. With a true addiction,
one needs MORE of the substance to achieve the first effects, but in fact,
no matter how much one adds, the effect continues to DIMINISH. Addiction is
terribly destructive as the addict's complete personality is subsumed into
getting the next fix. I don't think this is a very healthy model for
anyone to want to follow. Giving people wonderful, high experiences that
leave them feeling more powerful and happier in general and letting them
know they must also give back to and please you to get more...that is NOT
addiction. That is more like a natural monopoly.
(Commenting on: "Bounced Czech... I was doing my usual routine at the gym
where I noticed this HB... kind of a blonde Julia Roberts... and found it
surprisingly easy to converse with her (given the typical standoffishness
of the Washington DC crowd). It turns out she is from the Czech republic,
not long in this country. We had quite a long chat which culminated in my
getting her phone number. So, we make a date to see a movie and have
dinner. Well, we got to the theatre early so had a sandwich at a nearby
stand."):
Let us stop, right here. One reason I am against "dates" in general (not a
hard and fast always rule, but in general) is that it triggers all of her
old ideas, limits, emotions, behaviors and beliefs wrapped around her
previous experiences. So it is hard to get a "clean slate" and get new
responses from someone that aren't contaminated with a lot of crap.
(Commenting on: "(There I did some connection patterns and time distortion
and she seemed to be taking it all well. She kept bringing the conversation
over to sex... how her parents gave her condoms at 14 and encouraged her to
experiment with her boyfriends (remind me to make travel plans to
Czechoslovakia). Anyway, we got to the theatre and she sat down next to me
and shivered. I put an arm around her and she pulled away and said, "You
are a player and a seducer!""):
"YOU'RE A DISTRUSTER AND ACCUSER!"...that is a good proper response. Her
frame is "Prove yourself to me! Prove you are harmless and will not hurt me!"
(Commenting on: "(I wasn't quite sure how to react to that... so my gut
instinct was to put on the hurt puppy dog look and she got all apologetic
and said, "Sorry that was mean of me to say that... in my home country, the
women go after the men. The men are not aggressive.""):
You see? She is trying to filter you through WHAT SHE KNOWS. You could try
identifying her processing through a question, "Do you always filter people
through what you already know without even giving them a chance to show you
who they REALLY are?" Then get a little quiet and hurt. Maybe even get up,
go to the concession stand...get a soda...make her warm up to you.
(Commenting on: "(Later, she put her leg up against mine and her shoulder
against mine. At this point, I'm lost, not sure what my next move should
be. Anyway, the movie is playing and she reaches over and puts a gummy
bear in my mouth. I do the same. We're watching the movie, sharing a soda,
taking turns sipping through the straw... and I'm thinking okay, maybe this
was only a test... but did I pass? Later, we're she decides she's tired
and cancels our original dinner plan. We're talking and she says she was
hurt by the breakup of her last relationship and wants to take things
slowly. So I reply, I understand... and five months from now, when we're
totally comfortable with each other, you'll feel so safe and connected with
me... and at that point you'll look back at tonight as being the start of
it all. Her reply, "Why do you try to sell yourself so hard?""):
"Because YOU keep buying...buying into your limitations and hurts from the
past. It's like the past is a HUGE pair of glasses for you and that's all
you can see through or see yourself ever having? Why don't you just TAKE
THOSE OFF (reach over and mime taking off a pair of glasses and throwing
them away) and see ME...see this moment NOW...see who I am instead of
burying me with something I had NOTHING to do with!"
Then get up and leave again...if she comes after you, kiss her passionately.
You must show her that you are NOT going to keep "proving" you are harmless
and "won't hurt her"....because some ass hurt her doesn't mean YOU are
going to cut off your balls and step into the role of her comforter,
counselor and wet-nurse (though she MIGHT enjoy sucking on something you
have LATER).
Show her SHE is the one who is selling..selling herself, short.
(Commenting on: "(D-OHH !!! Obviously, my SS is backfiring. Or maybe her
brain translating my English into her native Czech caused the patterns to
lose their punch? The evening ended without so much as a kiss or a
handshake... and she told me she was discussing me with her gurlfriend.."):
So, you can't trust your own experience or make up your own
mind? Goodbye..I do not spend time with CHILDREN.
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Mystery: (Commenting on: "(Shyness is easy to overcome when you realize
that women really aren't scary. That's all it is."):
I'm dumbfounded how people advise the shy to INTELLECTUALIZE their fears.
We KNOW we are safe when looking out of the window of a tall building
(well, RELATIVELY safe, but that's another story) though we STILL feel the
fear. It will NOT go away just by TALKING to the person. It will NOT go
away just my giving INTELLECTUALIZED REASONS why it's safe. Sure the glass
is thick and the building sturdy. Sure you are safe and sound ... but! You
will STILL feel scared. Another example: a roller coaster. Sure the ride
is safe. Sure you can come up with all the REASONS why you won't get hurt.
You could even see a 7 year old kid ride before you. BUT you STILL feel the
fear. So we KNOW that TALKING about it, reasoning it out,
INTELLECTUALIZING the crap out of it will NOT make you less scared. What
have we learned then? Well, for one thing, we know what WON'T help so we
can save the step. There is ONE way that works 100% of the time:
REPETITION. Were you scared to drive? And it took many trips to finally
internalize the experience right? And now you drive and have done so so
many times you can think of other things while driving, like listening to
the radio, singing out loud, talking to passengers or the phone, etc. You
aren't afraid to get in the car anymore. Why? REPETITION. Scuba diving
must be exhilarating. But do you think an underwater welder even THINKS
about the scuba part of his job now? I don't think so. What about a
pilot? You think the commercial pilots get scared landing a plane? They
don't become COMMERCIAL pilots until they have burned the nervousness out
of themselves with repetition. So we know that THINKING and REASONING ...
DOESN'T work. And we now know what DOES work: REPETITION. So, get your
sorry ass out there and REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT. Yes, it's scary. You get
nervous. We have addressed that. And NO, it won't get easier by just
THINKING it will. You have to get EXPERIENCE. So MUCH experience (try 48
approaches a week for 6 months - seriously) that by the end of your
TRAINING, you'll be like me: able to approach a group of people and
actually be a cool guy. Not all locked up in your own fear. So ... we now
KNOW that repetition is the answer ... and we get experience by getting out
there and TRYING. So there is no longer anything more to INTELLECTUALIZE.
You have now set your solution before you. Either you DECIDE to go through
the fear so many times that it FINALLY diminishes to acceptable levels
(THAT is called EXPERIENCE) or you DON'T. Your call, bud. Shit or get off
the pot. If you are like me and had enough of lonely nights, you will take
the bull by the horns and solve the problem the ONLY WAY you can ... by
getting your ass out of your fucking house and bombing a good thousand
times. If you come up with excuses like, "but I'm scared" or "I'm too
busy", well, you are effectively saying, "I haven't had enough lonely
nights". Natural Selection will weed your genes the fuck out of existence
thanks to your DECISION to not solve the problem. Suck it up, losers, cause
I tell ya, it's worth the struggle. If you don't think so, give up the game
and be content to masturbate away your need for women.
If, at the end of my rant, you AGREE with me but still don't set the
schedule to go out 4 or 5 nights a week by yourself, you really aren't that
bright. You KNOW you need experience to get competence to gain confidence
but aren't willing to start getting experience. You KNOW you can't jump
steps and just by talking to get confidence. Any of that is a trick of the
mind and won't be there to help you when the shit hits the fan. It's one
thing to ACT like you know what you are doing, but it's no replacement for
actually KNOWING. Wanna get confident flying a plane? Reading a book and
then acting brave and listening to hypnotists TALK you into confidence is a
crock of shit. And this comes from a guy who DOES HYPNOSIS. You have to
INTERNALIZE the EXPERIENCE. Be scared. It's OK. Is that what you need?
Someone to say, "It's OK to be scared ... but you STILL have to solve the
problem." If that helps great, now get the fuck out there. If only you
would let GO of your delusion that you can get confidence BEFORE
experience. I'm telling you, you CANT! Ever! That is why Sex Magic is a 3
day IN FIELD workshop and not a 3 day in class SEMINAR. The difference?
Getting EXPERIENCE.
So, shit or get off the pot, brothers. If little Britney Spears had the
guts to get in front of thousands, you can approach women. It's a decision
you have to make RIGHT NOW: "am I a loser or not."
(Commenting on: "The thing with shyness is in getting the person to see the
truth and to realize that girls aren't scary. Think about it....if you
actually just SIT in a bar and LOOK at a girl, they get scared : ) Try it!
Go to a bar, order a drink, and sit at the far end of the bar. Doesn't
matter what you look like, just sit there and put on a warm, friendly
smile, nothing spectacular, and LOOK AT THEM. When they (if they) look at
you back, just maintain your friendly smile and keep looking at them. See
how long it takes for them to look away in TOTAL SHYNESS! You'll be amazed.
It's THEM who are shy, not you!! That's the lesson that you have to teach
shy people."):
Here the advice is INTELLECTUALIZED. We KNOW we don't have a REASON to be
scared, yet it still happens. The solution is not to accumulate longer
lists of REASONS, but to get out there so much that the feeling wears off
over successive experiences. Wanna get rid of the fear of roller coasters?
Decide to ride 500 of them. That'll do it. Your body will get so USED to
them that it becomes NORMAL. My cat used to be afraid of car rides. Now he
sleeps in the car. Think of THAT!
(Commenting on Stephane's comment on: (Commenting on Nathan's comment from
private email: "I will be visiting Montreal next year, so maybe we can
catch up sometime and you can demonstrate your techniques on myself to see
if we can get results."):
It's not a question of 'IF' with me. When someone comes in to see me for a
consultation, I never give up. If it takes one hour or 100 hours, you're
gonna sit down and you're gonna change (or die while I'm trying)."):
A person is gonna SIT DOWN and CHANGE? Please! The WOMEN problem is far too
important to mess around with TRICKING your brain to FEEL confident. Burn
the shit out of the feeling with REPETITION. I DID! And if I could do it,
so can you. I was SUPER SHY! Seriously. "DECIDE" or ... don't you want the
lifestyle BAD ENOUGH?
(Commenting on: "Especially for something as stupid as shyness! Send me
your worst clients, I dare all of you. Find the most shy person you can
think of and bring him to me."):
OR: take the newbie challenge. 48 approaches a week for 6 months. At the
end of that time, THEN you will understand how the shit we write about here
APPLIES to the real world.
(Commenting on: "I'll get him talking to girls and having fun if it kills
me."):
Mere words will NEVER take the place of EXPERIENCE. Which CONFIDENCE do you
think is more USEFUL? A confidence WITHOUT competence or MY CONFIDENCE?
Seriously? Who do you think will clean house? Here's a hint, only one of
the two answers is correct. I'll SHOW you LIVE. Ask anyone who has met me
in person. AND guess what? It's LEARNED. If you ever wonder if someone is
a natural, the answer is ... HE'S NOT. But the guys who are really good at
the game aren't good because they hypnotized the fear out of their head
(sorry, it's bullshit, gentlemen). They are good because they FOUGHT the
fear. They had it in them to keep FIGHTING because the rewards were worth
it. And then looking back they realized, they won the war because of
hundreds of little daily battles.
(Commenting on: "It usually only takes me a couple of minutes anyway. I'm
good with shyness because it's so easy. You guys are thinking it's hard,
but it's one of the easiest things in the world to get over. So come. This
is how I advertise. I dare you to come in : ) heheh"):
I suppose given the choices, 1) work hard learning 100's of distinctions
that apply to real world situations in an INFIELD WORKSHOP with an
EXPERIENCED seducer by approaching tons of hot girls over three days or 2)
listening to a guy "hypnotize" your fear away FOR YOU in only a couple
minutes ... I'd choose the easy way way out. But maybe you should ask
yourself a question: if it's too good to be true, is it?
(Commenting on: "Zvi: I've reached a point that I no longer think in terms
of "techniques". Yes, there are things that I happen to do with practically
every women, since I've learned from experience that it works, but I don't
think of it as a technique. It's like my learning to dance. I've learned
many techniques and I worked hard on my form, but on the dance floor there
are no techniques. You go with what you feel; the techniques are already
integrated and have become organic."):
Yes, this makes a great deal of sense. My METHOD is actually the WRITTEN
technique of what I do without thinking about it. I first do what WORKS and
THEN I write about it. That's why the workshop idea will always be better
than the book Sex Magic I'm writing. Of course, since the price is a big
difference too, you have to get what you can afford. I'll likely discount
the price of the book if people want to sign up for the workshop after
reading it. (No date of completion for book yet, sorry).
(Commenting on: "Leo: (Commenting on: "Mystery: A good opener so you can
fall into these convo threads would be good. The whole point of the opener
is to start in on a group and convey that you approached for the CHAT and
nothing more. "Looks like the party's over here. : ) I'm curious, have you
seen the movie Poltergeist? Do you think it was based on reality or all
fiction?" You've come to entertain yourself. Not to pickup the girl... WHAT
TIME IS IT is not an opener. It's a Pick Up line. And, therefore ... so is
THOMAS. Boy, can I rant."):
I think that any artificial opener is a pick up line. Actually, whatever
you say, I don't think that any girl would think that you just approached
for the "chat", unless you're a gay or just weird. They know *exactly* why
you are talking to them. I mean why the hell would anyone come to a club to
ask girl for her opinions about Poltergeist? Yeah right, "just to chat"."):
See me work a room. The girls don't know which girl I'm with is my GF.
That MYSTERY is valuable to build curiousity. You see, that's the power of
NEG THEORY. A guy would NOT do a NEG on a girl if he LIKED her. This really
throws the girl off the scent. It's like, "the guy approached my group but
doesn't seem to be hitting on me." This is a great position to build her
curiousity.
(Commenting on: "I think the best way is to behave is like if you already
know them. Girls still would know *why* you approach them, but at least
it's more natural and creates this funny assumption that you already know
each other."):
I prefer having her wonder if you are there for your own entertainment or
to hit on someone ... and confuse her even more by NOT hitting on her until
AFTER she is hitting on you. However, the "already know them" thing is good
in that you can act like you know each other for rapport building. Not the
cheesy "I think we met before" but just behaving as if you'd already fucked
her so you don't have to hit on her. It's all a part of building rapport.
(Commenting on: "That you're not a stranger with pretentious "openers".
Just start talking as if you would do it with your old friend or relative.
"So what's new?""):
Ouch. dude, what's your score in the game so far? Are you good or are you
just talking out of your ass? These comments aren't jiving with my world
for some reason. "So what's new" does NOT build curiosity. Are you
approaching TENS? In GROUPS? With THAT?
(Commenting on: "The answer can also instantly indicate if you are wasting
your time or not. Most girls will say "Not much" with different variations."):
And this segues to a conversation that builds fascination?
(Commenting on: "Some will then ask "What's new with you?" which means she
accepts the game and actually is willing to talk to you."):
Ouch. Consider for a moment that some guys REALLY have a good game plan.
This "Hi, how are you, fine, thank you, how are you" shit is quite
boring. Are you assuming you are approaching 1:1 or in groups? Sorry bro,
it stinks. BUT ... it's better than staying home and masturbating, so word up.
(Commenting on: "It also shifts the whole situation instantly: now SHE is
actually asking you questions (she "approaches" you). Then you can lead the
convo anywhere you want (I just came from Amsterdam, I just watched
Poltergeist again, etc.) Some girls will say "just chilling out/having
fun/looking for my friend/bored," etc. which can also help you develop the
convo into desired direction. Some will actually start telling you what's
new. She actually will allow you into her world right away."):
Problem with this sad false start (not a good OPENER) is that she judges
you based on your LOOK. Not rewarding enough for me.
(Commenting on: "And some will let you understand that you are wasting your
time just by the way they say "not much" or "nothing". Fast and easy. (BTW,
more openers of this kind are welcome.)"):
See? She is qualifying you before you've had a chance to convey the 5
characteristics of an alphamale. Sorry, dude, but your methods are AFC.
You really gotta see the PRO's like Craig or Sin work their magic. You'd be
blown away.
(Commenting on: "Another great opener is actually your excellent suggestion
of giving girls a high-five. It's not only funny and assumes that you know
each other, but also assumes everything that high-five conveys (that you
have a joint "project", or have just agreed on something, or cracked a good
joke, etc.)"):
Yeah, that's a Craig move. Love it!
(Commenting on: "Assman: (Commenting on: "Flying Dutchman's Panama Beach
televised PU and follow-up interview idea): I don't think spring break
cities/events are the best places for your taped pickups. The girls at
these places are attention hungry and love to tease, they are not there for
sex. Don't get fooled by MTV into thinking Panama Beach during spring break
is one long sex orgy. Also the sex ratio is like 5 to 1 in the men's favor.
You do not have the element of surprise, girls are hit on constantly, and
expect it, although much of it is "hey baby, how you doin" and "show me
your tits" so a PUA can make an impression, with the proper expert
approach. Panama Beach is full of AFC's, just check out
http://www.salon.com/it/feature/1999/03/11feature.html most of these guys
have no clue how to pickup. A high percentage of the girls at these spring
break events seem to be exhibitionists, or the atmosphere causes them to be
more uninhibited. They will pose for pictures with your arm around them,
their tits exposed or your tongue in their mouth, so if you want easy KINO,
spring break can work. My point is that you should look for more ordinary
everyday beach situations to film, not "events".
(Commenting on: "NightLight9:Kiss Openers This the opener where I just walk
up and kiss the girl with no verbals."): Ahh, my favorite topic,
-Aggressive openers- Ass grabbing, breast fondling, the much discussed Kiss
openers here on Cliff's list, and the jewel in the crown of shock openings,
the crotch grab. Total non-verbal Kino openers are the mark of the beast,
you gotta be demon possessed to try them, I have yet to be exorcised of
this demonic urge to grab those lovely young things. For those who are
scared of the tactic (the smart among you) you should use some words before
or during the "hit" as this will make you appear less of a rapist. You can
fool around with Ross Jeffries crash and burn experiments, you can have fun
and test countless variants of the Mystery method», but never be cavalier
with Assman antics, be prepared to pacify the women you will upset, it can
be as simple as saying "sorry, I lost my balance, I was in a car accident 2
days ago, and my knees are still wobbly" - this is best for those who are
most offended, deny that you grabbed her on purpose. For the ones who are
shocked but not angry, you can stay with the program, launch into a hypno
induction, an SS pattern, ask her if she believes in 'Mystic Energy'
emanating from her body with the power to heal (while waving your hands
around her ass, directing the flow of her aura) - as Mystery might do, or
be cocky and funny like Sisonpyh. Doesn't much matter, just make sure
you're prepared, never stand there silently, take control and direct her
emotions. Someone asked who do these direct approaches work best on? Older,
younger, etc.? In my experience, you can never tell who it will work on,
some go ballistic, while some trance out on contact, you can't judge by
age, or by perceived character/personality or any other measure. With
aggressive kino openers, be prepared to be surprised. I was at a hotel this
past weekend to sarge in the hotel bar, it was near empty, but the ballroom
was hosting a singles dance for older professionals 40-50 year olds (some
even older), not my type, but yet some of these women were well preserved
and dressed to the nines. I decided to prey on the little lambs milling
about the corridors and lobby. I wasn't too particular, my first and only,
had a tired run down face, but large c cups and smooth long legs propelled
me. She's about 5'6", I towered over her, rubbed her ass while my other
hand controlled her shoulder, my face was three inches from hers, I looked
intensely into her eyes, smiled and said, you're perrrrfect... you're mine,
I'm going to take you to the outer limits of cerebral excitation, move you
into states of satisfaction unknown, and then....show you the door to
divine insights and lay on your head a crown of glory. - Then I kissed this
40 something and led her to a booth in the bar, yapping more B.S. all the
way, there I indulged in a full course of kino, got her e-mail and left for
greener pastures. Sometimes, it's real easy."):
You know, at FIRST I thought, "this guy's AFC" but you know what? This is
some good shit. This is PRO stuff though, not for the newbies. This stuff
isn't EASY just cause it's bold. I like it. I think I'll try this great
shit out and report back on the results. Of course, you have to do this on
a sexually mature girl.
(Commenting on: "Dwacon (Seasons Greetings -- hope at least some of you got
to stuff a stocking!
Bounced Czech... I was doing my usual routine at the gym where I noticed
this HB... kind of a blonde Julia Roberts... and found it surprisingly easy
to converse with her (given the typical standoffishness of the Washington
DC crowd). It turns out she is from the Czech republic, not long in this
country. We had quite a long chat which culminated in my getting her phone
number. So, we make a date to see a movie and have dinner. Well, we got to
the theatre early so had a sandwich at a nearby stand. There I did some
connection patterns and time distortion and she seemed to be taking it all
well. She kept bringing the conversation over to sex... how her parents
gave her condoms at 14 and encouraged her to experiment with her boyfriends
(remind me to make travel plans to Czechoslovakia). Anyway, we got to the
theatre and she sat down next to me and shivered. I put an arm around her
and she pulled away and said, "You are a player and a seducer!""):
And your response? "you're quite a little heartbreaker yourself I bet."
(Commenting on: "I wasn't quite sure how to react to that... so my gut
instinct was to put on the hurt puppy dog look and she got all apologetic
and said, "Sorry that was mean of me to say that... in my home country, the
women go after the men. The men are not aggressive." Later, she put her leg
up against mine and her shoulder against mine. At this point, I'm lost, not
sure what my next move should be. Anyway, the movie is playing and she
reaches over and puts a gummy bear in my mouth. I do the same. We're
watching the movie, sharing a soda, taking turns sipping through the
straw... and I'm thinking okay, maybe this was only a test... but did I
pass? Later, we're she decides she's tired and cancels our original dinner
plan. We're talking and she says she was hurt by the breakup of her last
relationship and wants to take things slowly. So I reply, I understand...
and five months from now, when we're totally comfortable with each other,
you'll feel so safe and connected with me... and at that point you'll look
back at tonight as being the start of it all. Her reply, "Why do you try to
sell yourself so hard?"
D-OHH !!!"):
Trial and error, bro. All good. You are learning what NOT to do. VALUABLE
lessons.
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Formhandle:
(Commenting on Dwacon's post: There I did some connection patterns and time
distortion and she seemed to be taking it all well. She kept bringing the
conversation over to sex... how her parents gave her condoms at 14 and
encouraged her to experiment with her boyfriends."):
...and you STILL followed through with plans for the theatre? She was being
very direct with you here. It was time to say "You know - my parents were
the same way, I think maybe much different than a lot of people I've known
who live in my area." Then suggest that maybe the theatre will be a boring
idea and maybe you should rent a movie instead, get some microwave popcorn,
and play some video games at your/her place... she'll get the point. Even
if she doesn't, it certainly sounds more fun than a theatre where you can't
do much but briefly touch and stare at a big-ass screen with 200 people
around you.
(Commenting on: "(remind me to make travel plans to Czechoslovakia)."):
You had a Czech right there waiting to be taken...
(Commenting on: "Anyway, we got to the theatre..."):
Now she's wondering "Why did we come here? Is he actually going to make a
move?" Then it's shit-test time...
(Commenting on: "and she sat down next to me and shivered."):
"What will he do?"
(Commenting on: "I put an arm around her and she pulled away and said, "You
are a player and a seducer!""):
LOL. OK, then it's time to question that she probably doesn't REALLY feel
that way. Otherwise, she wouldn't be WITH you, right? Answer the question
without answering the question, but rather deflect her own test back at
her. If she's playing a game, she'll have to deflect the answer. If she's
suggestible, she'll merely experience dissonance and have to agree that
you're not a "player and seducer" (I'm assuming she meant it in a bad way).
If she meant it in a playful way, you might have responded with "You know,
I don't know why you think I'm a player, but there's certainly nothing
wrong with seducing someone so that both people can feel pleasure."
(Commenting on: "I wasn't quite sure how to react to that... so my gut
instinct was to put on the hurt puppy dog look and she got all apologetic
and said, "Sorry that was mean of me to say that...
in my home country, the women go after the men. The men are not aggressive.""):
Sounds like BS, really. In western cultures, men are barely aggressive
ANYWHERE. And she's presupposing that just because "men are not
aggressive", that when an "aggressive" one appears, he's doing something
wrong. Bullshit. She's just patching up based probably on your puppy dog
response. But in any case, your test was to challenge her and to simply do
what you want.
(Commenting on: "Later, she put her leg up against mine and her shoulder
against mine."):
Vague. Theatres suck. She had her side up against you for 90 minutes.
Theatres suck.
(Commenting on: "At this point, I'm lost, not sure what my next move should
be."):
LOL - she was probably thinking almost the same thing. "Dang, why are we in
this theatre? I want this guy to take me home and give me a good rogering.
His leg and shoulders are against mine - he is so ambiguous!"
(Commenting on: "Anyway, the movie is playing and she reaches over and puts
a gummy bear in my mouth. I do the same."):
She's TRYING to gauge your sexual interest level. I think she was wondering
"Can he take a clue?"
(Commenting on: "We're watching the movie, sharing a soda, taking turns
sipping through the straw... and I'm thinking okay, maybe this was only a
test... but did I pass?"):
If you have to ask, then no you didn't. You got yourself in trouble by
going to the theatre in the first place. In that environment, how much can
you REALLY do?
(Commenting on: "Later, we're she decides she's tired and cancels our
original dinner plan."):
Not surprising. You're probably now in the "potential asexual BF" AKA LJBF
category. However, by cancelling those plans, she's telegraphing 2 things
to you: You're not being sexually aggressive enough which translates in her
mind into "sex with this guy is not guaranteed", and she is simultaneously
"protecting" herself because dinner might lead back to someone's place and
"something might happen". Well, of course, but you were not portraying that
for real and you put yourself in the wrong category.
(Commenting on: "We're talking and she says she was hurt by the breakup of
her last relationship and wants to take things slowly."):
Take WHAT slowly? I thought this chick was PROMISCUOUS based on her early
talk about condoms and experimentation. She said the word "relationship".
Fuck. She put you in the "potential mate" category which means that her ASD
mechanisms are now up very high. She has 3 categories for men: those who
she has flings with, and those who might be BF's, and probably (like all
chicks) LJBF. It's vague whether you're not in maybe BF or LJBF territory.
Now ask yourself: Do you want a GF and are you willing to WAIT until you
find a way to bypass her ASD or are you just looking to lay her? I'm
assuming the latter. If so, you should NOT have been questioning "What's
going on?" throughout that whole "date". You should have been strategizing
your tactics for LAYING her. That means ignore the BS about whether you're
being aggressive or not.
Here's a new frame for the next time some BS like this happens:
Respond to her with, "The guys from where you're from aren't aggressive at
all, huh? Well, get ready for a change of pace because if you want to be
around me then you're going to experience something different. Maybe that
is something exciting to you?" If she gets up and walks out (which she
won't do), you'd have saved yourself A LOT of time. Otherwise, she'll stay
and her own dissonance will only reinforce to her that she must want this.
Even on the flip side, you could always have challenged her by testing to
see if she'll prove that she is the aggressive one. Again, if she wasn't
BSing, she will likely take up the challenge and aggressively sarge you,
leading to another form of dissonance in which she can only admit that she
must want this, otherwise she wouldn't be doing what she's doing.
Those were your 2 best options for passing this test. You chose neither and
decided to accept HER frame. And regardless of whether what she told you
was BS or not, you displayed submissive behavior. In that case, unless she
was ALREADY attracted to you, she won't go after you. If you instead
displayed dominant behavior, you would have been congruent and you would
have had a 10x better chance to lay her that night. Because although a
chick might SAY she wants to be the aggressive one (because of guys being
non-aggressive), that same chick will still RESPOND to a guy who is more
aggressive. The ONLY time it might work out with a non-aggressive guy is if
she's already attracted to him for some reason. Even then, she might get
bored with him rather quickly.
Always choose the path of dominance unless you get CLEAR signals from the
chick's reactions (opposed to what she says) that she might actually be
more attracted to signs of submissiveness.
(Commenting on: "So I reply, I understand... and five months from now, when
we're totally comfortable with each other, you'll feel so safe and
connected with me... and at that point you'll look back at tonight as being
the start of it all."):
WTF were you trying to do here? All you're doing is re-enforcing a frame
she already might have accepted - that she might be comfortable with you as
a BF five months from now. Is that what you WANTED? Or did you want to shag
her right there in the middle of the street? ALL your actions must be
congruent with the kind of man you WANT to be. Not the kind of man you
think will appeal to what a chick is telling you on her conscious level.
(Commenting on: "Her reply, "Why do you try to sell yourself so hard?"
D-OHH !!!"):
She's good. :-)
(Commenting on: "Obviously, my SS is backfiring. Or maybe her brain
translating my English into her native Czech caused the patterns to lose
their punch?"):
This is a suggestion to the guys on this list:
You might want to consider that sometimes using something besides SS would
be best to "convince" a chick of something. I have personally found that
NLP languaging is best when shifting a chick from one state to another -
not a means to convince her of the opposite of what she is verbalizing on a
conscious level.
Sometimes you just have to LEAD her. You have to stay congruent to doing
what YOU want to do, while simultaneously gauging her indirectly so you can
read her better. If you change tactics mid-stream, you'll just look like a
salesman - a BAD salesman.
(Commenting on: "The evening ended without so much as a kiss or a
handshake... and she told me she was discussing me with her gurlfriend so I
imagine that this date will be treated like the hash browns at the Waffle
House.... scattered, smothered, splattered, eviscerated, sub-atomically
dissected and fried beyond recognition."):
Well, it's surprising she even said that to you, but in any case it looks
like you're in the "potential BF" frame. If her "gurlfriend" doesn't like
the sound of you, prepare for a series of flaking ending with LJBF.
All I can say at this point is to call her up and state-break her by saying
"You know - I'm not sure what to make of the other night. You really don't
seem to know what you want." Then shut up and let her get angry at you, if
necessary. Let her dis you if needed. Then after she's got all that
aggression come out, try a last-ditch dissonance state-breaker by
responding with "Wow - I didn't realize you had so much passion over
something like this. I didn't realize you might have been trying to impress
me without scaring me away. I like this side of you, it's so much more
real." If she DOESN'T dis you with the state break, then just follow
through and set up another "date" (this one with LEADING and ending with a
lay).
(Commenting on: "I think maybe I'll hold off calling her and just wait to
see her at the gym... then fly by the seat of my pants depending on how she
presents when I see her."):
That's what a chump would do. You are placing all the decisive emphasis on
HER rather than YOU. What do you WANT to do?
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| cliff’s list advertisment section |
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just reading about this for the first time, I decided a couple of emails ago to add links
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recommended but clicking on the links and buying from them doesn’t send any money back
here (it is also recommended that the sponsors of these sites consider setting this up —
from the little experience I have had since I started the commercial section a couple of
weeks ago, I think you are missing a lot of business by not doing this):
|
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