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— by Mike Pilinski —
© 2003 Kipling Kat Publishing Co. — All Rights Reserved
http://www.highstatusmale.com/
I suppose I could have titled this article “Why Do Women Show Absolutely No Romantic Interest In A Nice Guy (Like Me) Even Though They All Claim To Want To Meet A Nice Guy (Like Me)?”
Whew! Well, maybe not. It sure is tempting though — because in my unexpected career as the internet’s new “Dear Mr. Abby”, I’ve gotten some basic form of that question many times over in the past few months, and I’m getting sick of it. So in the interest of suppressing my e-mail a little bit, let me show you my theory of why it is that nice guys are scorned by women everywhere, and how to get around this social handicap without having to take night courses in “How to be a Jerk” at your local community college (although I hear they ARE a great place to meet sexy young women… 😉
I’m sure you know the infuriating mantra that you’ve heard time and again from women –either in person or on all these stupid afternoon talk shows: “…But Oprah, there’s no one to date out there, all the guys are all such jerks and losers. I just want to meet a nice guy…” Oh how they love to whine.
Well if you consider yourself to be the “nice guy” these women swear they’re looking for, but you strike-out with all but the very lowest end of the female food chain anyway, then you know what royal bull**** this declaration really is. Nonetheless — despite the fact that most of the feral women (18-35) actually date & screw the drunken lowlifes and pricks they claim to hate — they seem determined to drill it into our heads that this happens ONLY because the right “nice guy” hasn’t come-a-stumbln’ into their life yet. Rrrrr-ight.
Ok, here’s what’s REALLY going on. As usual, women are talking in code. (They are famous for this).
When women imagine “nice guys” in their minds, what they’re really dreaming about is a guy who makes them feel SAFE… but in a very *special* sort of way that preserves his male sexual attractiveness. Actually, this is not very mysterious when you think about it from the *female* perspective. To a woman, a safe guy means ONLY that you’re physically harmless — nothing more. In terms of what you could do to her emotions, well… that’s a different story.
This blend of hot n’ cold, exciting n’ boring, safe n’ dangerous is what she is REALLY searching for — this is what she *lives* for. It’s what she thinks of as having ‘chemistry’ with a guy.
The problem with being overtly nice or lap-doggishly friendly and accommodating with
women is that it communicates the worse kind of SUBLIMINAL message to them. (P.S.
Everything IMPORTANT that goes on between men and women in the early stages of all
romantic-sexual encounters is always communicated NON-verbally. Words may be the power
tools of seduction — but it’s what you DON’T actually say with words that will make or
break you!). Anyway, this lousy subliminal messaging is the key to why nice guys rarely
get laid.
Here’s why:
‘Nice-guy’ behavior is NOT something that women see you as “switching on” in their presence like some well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them. Instead, they believe that you’ve been TRAINED (yes, like a f***ing dog) by other, *more powerful* men in your world to act this way!
In other words, ‘nice guy’ is how subservient men have learned to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves from harm (“I am no threat to your status as the more dominant male… please don’t hurt me… let me be your harmless, lovable side-kick…”). To women, then, “niceness” is a screaming red flashing signal of LOW MALE STATUS, and therefore…
…it is an ENORMOUS TURN OFF to them!
This is why they can’t develop any sexual energy (i.e., chemistry) with nice guys, and with good reason. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male to mate with in order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance to survive. It’s the same reason why men have been hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness (because youthfulness = reproductive success, or viewed the other way around… old ladies = reproductive failure… i.e., no eggs left in the carton, to put it bluntly). While male and female ACTIONS may be completely different, their GOALS remain the same — strong healthy babies to carry forth the species. This is so because “maleness” and “femaleness” are really just two different but complimentary STRATEGIES for reproduction — and men and women are compelled to behave differently in order to executed these dissimilar strategies on one another.
You see, Nature doesn’t care about hurting people’s feelings — it cares ONLY about reproductive success in order to keep those precious DNA molecules traveling forward in Time. The dance of mating & seduction — in all creatures — is linked inseparably to this biological imperative. Go against it and you’re flying in the face of millions of years of evolution (or maybe its design, who knows?). Learn to play by it’s rules… and you will win!
* * *
Anyway, being the correct sort of nice guy to women really only means being someone who is A) safe, and B) a guy that she would NOT be embarrassed to show off to her family or close (judgmental) friends. Understand that there’s a lot of latitude in there between a kiss-ass wimp and a complete psycho. Your job is to find that happy middle.
* * *
Alright, some practical application of theory. It’s difficult to describe exactly how to go about handling the issue of being a nice guy, but here’s my best try…
You never want to ACT like a nice guy around women, but…
…you always want to SEEM like one.
Can you get a sense of what I’m trying to say here? The problem with being nice is TRYING to be nice, instead of just LETTING it happen. You can’t come across as an *obvious* a nice guy — you just have to drop enough hints around women so that you SEEM like one. Never, *EVER* broadcast your nice guy potential to women like it’s something that you’re proud of! Yeeesh!
Here’s a few examples of what I mean:
1) When you first meet a woman that you’re attracted to, you must establish a NON-verbal line of communication in a way that provokes stirrings of instinctual mating thoughts in her subconscious “deep” brain. In other words, you need to transmit your interest in her in a man-woman sexual-potential way *without* actually speaking any words to that effect! Nice trick, eh? Actually it’s easy… two ways in which you can do this are with extended eye contact and brief, non-offensive touches. Both casual, but unmistakable in their true meaning to her.
2) Drop HINTS about you’re capacity to be a nice guy, but don’t demonstrate it — otherwise you will come off like a complete kiss-ass. Do this by A) slipping in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships in your life (a sign to women that you’re “connected & normal”), or B) that you have something exciting going on in your life — either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps a recent adventure of some kind.
Here’s an example from my own experiences. I used to work for a photography company. Sounds exciting, eh? Not really. The amount of time I spent with a camera in my hand was less than 5% of the total time I was there. I mostly did boring lab work and mechanical “McGuiver” tricks to keep a lot of old, over-used equipment up and running. But maybe a half dozen to 20 times a year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial pictures around the Western New York area for various commercial clients.
So when I’m chatting up a girl, sometimes I’ll work in a quick little anecdote that’s drawn from one of my old flying jobs. Like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height of mid-winter. But I make nothing more of it, all very nonchalant… and I DON’T fully explain how I came into the position of flying around the area and making such an observation in the first place. Is it through work? A hobby?… What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view this natural wonder? Business travel? What?
She’s at least a little bit curious about me now, but she’s not comfortable asking questions since I’ve just rolled over the subject quickly and she doesn’t really know me well enough yet. Besides, (and this is important to understand) she LIKES not knowing! Mystery! Intrigue! I’ve suggested to her in an off-hand way that I’m a productive guy (safe & normal) who’s into SOMETHING that’s kind of fascinating and possibly making me good money — but without revealing too much about what it is, and especially NOT explaining every last detail in the droll, somewhat braggartly way that is the hallmark of the boring-as- hell nice guy.
You can drop hints about family (“connections”, i.e. I’m not a lonely, desperate hermit) or whatever in a similar manner to show her that you’re an okay (nice?) guy without piercing the delicate bubble of MYSTERY that must envelope every seduction.
Now you’re “in like Flynn” in terms of getting your foot in the door to her heart (this is only Step 1 remember). Why? Because she’s made the determination in her *subconscious* mind (where it really counts) that you “seem” like a nice guy beneath an otherwise dominant male presentation of yourself, and that piques her interest immensely.
You are a rare encounter in the universe of men that breaks down into either sappy, boring “nice guys” or worthless (but, alas, exciting) pricks. Your stock has gone up at the moment it matters most… that make or break moment OF FIRST ENCOUNTER. No matter what “flaws” you might otherwise imagine yourself to have, you have become interesting to her in a way that AT LEAST she’ll never categorize as friggin’ “nice”. NOW you have a shot!
And you can move on to Seduction Steps 2, 3, 4, etc. with the confidence of a High Status Male»!
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE:
This is an archive of a Mike Pilinski’s High Status Male articles.
Mike Pilinski is the author of “Without Embarrassment»: The Social Coward’s Totally Fearless Seduction System“… a unique method of meeting girls that will have you making up for wasted time spent living in shy-guy hell from the very first moment you test it out. Check it Out Here => http://www.highstatusmale.com/.
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