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My Redeeming Feature
Sun, 18 Apr 1999 10:59:09 -0400
I was going out with Orly last night and I planned to surprise her by taking
her to a disco that was having a special "Sex Night" so I told her to dress
very provocatively. When I got there she was in this very interesting one
piece blue leopard, form fitting, low-cut, mini-skirt. So of course I had
to take a picture. She asks, "what are you going to do with that, show it
to all your buddies?" "Of course," I said, "but you will also be able to
see it at www.orly.com !" It hasn't been developed yet but assuming that
they come out well, those going to the Washington seminar next weekend will
be able to see them (a good suggestion by Ross). She also gave me an
interesting compliment that I thought I would share with you. She's noted
that we have absolutely nothing in common, that I have weird ideas about
women that she says must come out of Penthouse and Playboy but, fortunately,
I have one redeeming feature that makes up for it.
"You love pussy," she says. After that, of course, anytime we had any kind
of miscommunication or disagreement, I just point to my redeeming feature.
A company that I am involved with is going to soon be releasing a new
software program called Q Notes. Instead of grabbing a pen when you are on
the phone, this program opens up instantly on your computer screen to take
notes. It also can save any image on or in your computer and turn it into a
background for an e-mail. If you would like to have a free copy (it would
be appreciated but not required if you would let us know if you find any
bugs), just e-mail me.
And now the mail:
Soren (commenting on my attempted pick up where I got freezed out): First
off:
1) Never say excuse me (say Hi)
2) Never apologize for "interrupting"
Bumming a cigarette or something is better. She begins by giving and you
respond by REWARDING her with a complimentary observation. Bottom line, if
she is not interested in your meatball then it is rare indeed that the
most skillfuly worded and delivered patterns will work. There is an
alternative to Spoiled American bitches who quite frankly are too abundant
and that is foreign chycks. I have heard that going after foreign babes as
being "pathetic." Getting slammed by American HBs is pathetic and so is
putting up with and actually trying to please these overfed, snotty cunts
(with few exceptions)
My Comments: It seems that I don't explain myself fully when I give these
reports on my sargying attempts and I get called on the carpet for the
missing info which I then have to fill in. Firstly, the reason I went up to
that HB and complimented her legs is because this was a bit of a chilly
night here in Montreal, she was out wearing a mini-skirt with strap like
shoes (so she had most of her legs and feet bare in this cold weather) and
this struck me as the most significant thing I could notice about her at
that moment. Secondly, apologizing for interrupting is extremely effective
and was been one of the first things I learned and have stuck with from SS.
This effectively obtains permission from the woman to speak with her despite
the fact that you are total strangers to each other. As I have mentioned
many times in the past, the indirect route just doesn't seem to work for me
so bumming a cigarette (or anything else indirect since I don't smoke) is
not the way I would go. Thirdly, I think that one has to get her interested
in your meatball; if you are going to count on her being interested or not
without doing anything, there isn't much point to learning SS or anything
else. Fourthly, it has always been my experience that if you have the
attitude that certain women are bitches, this will be a self-fulfilling
prophecy. As Dale Carnegie has said so eloquently, give them a big
reputation to live up to. I don't think you would like to be lumped into
the category that many women put men in these days; there is an undercurrent
of women who feel that there is a drastic shortage of men that are
intelligent, appealing and available. Treat each as an individual and they
may surprise you.
John: I think it'd be incredible, with how cheap cruises are right now to
organize some kind of convention. Now wouldn't that kick some ass? Imagine
our little secret meetings on a ship right before we'd go to the deck and
stir up some juices!!
My Comment: A sargying expedition without a seminar. Probably should be on
a singles cruise (I have been on non-singles cruises and they are mostly
couples and old people, so I don't think just any cruise would be a good
idea). I would like to hear from anyone interested in this idea and maybe
we'll try and organize something.
Jacob: Just like SS it's hard to get started with Silva with the aid of just
books. Thus you have to put some money up to buy tapes to hear the stuff in
action. For this I recommend any Silva tapes by Hans DeJong (who is
considered the best trainer in the field) he's got one of the most powerful
inductions in all of NLP/hypnosis/Silva.
My Comment: I took the Silva training twice about 10 years ago. All the
talk about it recently has got me curious to check it out again.
Jacob (Commenting on the guy who hog tied the woman, threw her in the pool
and then had his way with her): This is the right way to appeal to the wrong
kind of women. What intelligent, stable and sane women would put up with
that kind of shit?
Playing with people's insecurities only reinforces them. People who have
this power must ask themselves what ethical rights they have to use them in
an unhelpful way for others.
My Comment: While doing this kind of thing is just not my style, I am very
interested to learn more about the thought patterns that give those who do
this type of thing their power. This type of wild behaviour that has
tremendous results fascinates me for some morbid reason.
Brother Daniel (commenting on my attempted pick up where I got freezed out):
What kind of response did is expected from her to this type of approach? If
she has as great a pair of legs as you say, then I'm sure she already knows
that.. The trick here, in this type of situation, would be to GET OUT OF
YOUR HEAD -- that is, take the time to turn down the LUST and Internal
Dialogue for a minute to truly look at this woman, and see what you can
notice about her *person*, her *true being*.. Something that you would NOT
have noticed if you had not taken the time to truly Look At Her. Whatever
you say can put a girl straight into Doggie Dinner Bowl, right off the bat,
but it's gotta be a trance-inducer, i.e., something that breaks her pattern
of being in that moment, in that situation, at that particular point in
time.. something that transcends the experience to a more pleasurable and
enjoyable state with you.. not necessarily a compliment, though that could
work if delivered well and followed up with a challenge and/or
intrigue-accelerator.. Say something that ZONKS 'em right out .. By saying
something that comes from a deeper place inside of yourself.. This may sound
a bit cryptic, but recently, something that has really helped me was to
think about how I move and behave in bed -- how I decide to kiss what and
where and how and when and for how long, etc.. -- and to use THAT kind of
deciding-mechanism in EVERY aspect of my life, which makes me move from a
much deeper place inside of myself.. So now I move, again, with that same
sort of congruency, looking at the world from that deeper place inside of
myself..
Such that I would be able to get away with saying something like, "Excuse
me,
pardon me for interrupting, but I just had to tell you that I am getting
such a
wonderful vibration from you, and I thought what a shame it would be if we
didn't have this opportunity to meet one another. My name is Dan." This
gets me OUT of my head.. and INTO HER WORLD, using the SS learnings and
understandings of NLP to break down all limiting barriers and speak with
congruency, rapport, insight, charm, ferocity, wit, etc.. without having to
depend on rote memorization of canned patterns.. (by the way, this can all
be learned rather quickly, since just last week, I
was caught red-handed FOR THE SECOND TIME reciting the same pattern three
times to three different girls on my college campus.. It's a shame that
this
happened, but it's nothing I can't fix, while it still taught me the
valuable lesson
of making the language my own or not saying it at all..)
My Comment: I won't repeat my defense of the approach as it is just above
in reply to Soren's comments. But I will mention one thing which may be of
interest. Many, many years ago I used to be quite anxious and would have
that lust response to an attractive woman. I worked on myself in a variety
of ways (mostly just forcing myself to relax a lot and calm myself; sorry I
can't supply much in the way of specifics) and now I really do not get
anxious anymore, especially in that way where you just can't sit still.
Further, I feel I have also repressed that lust response pretty much
totally -- I really do not think or feel that way when I approach a woman
and haven't for many years. Doing what I did has, in my opinion, more
benefits than negatives, but at the same time I find that I don't get the
highs and the lows that other people get.
Len (commenting on my use of romantic language): Any tips you can give on
this would be much appreciated. I've noticed that patterns used by
effective seducers are very often clothed in romantic language, yet the
romantic part is not generally taught. It's just assumed that we will
figure it out. I can flirt up a storm, but when I want to turn the
conversation in a romantic direction, generally have not a clue what to say.
Effective seducers seem to probe the woman to find out what has an effect.
A friend said that he would do this through indirect suggestions to observe
her reaction and determine how she prefers to be pursued. I'm curious what
kinds of romantic themes, topics or descriptions you might suggest to test
her response with, and how best to use them.
My Comment: I don't really have a script and tend to just say what comes to
mind at the time. The best is usually what comes to your thoughts about the
person you are talking with and tying it to some romantic themes. I would
suggest you just read a lot of romantic materials (I am sure there is a lot
that you could search on the internet, or you would certainly find tons of
materials at Barnes & Noble or your library) and just get those ideas into
your mind so that they come up in your thoughts when the situation arises.
Orly highly recommends "Lady Chatterly's Lover" to provide insight into
romance and a woman's mind.
Craig (Commenting on interference from other guys): What I've found works is
what I call the substitution theory. If you take someone's girl your gonna
get in trouble, but if you find them a new one fast enough (or at least make
a valid attempt) then your set. If I'm dancing with a girl who I know came
to the club with some guys, and I go back to her group of friends and I
notice the guys getting weird on me, I will introduce myself to them, then
grab the next hot girl that walks by and set one of the guys up with her. I
try to get the girl to make out with the guy right then and there, and this
usually gets a laugh from the guys whether it works or not (Usually I can at
least get the girl to give him a kiss on the cheek...You'd be surprised at
how many guys are satisfied with just that!). Either way I'm in with the
crew and I'm free to mack on the girls they came with.
My Comment: Great stuff.
Bill (Commenting on that freeze I got): The idea of commenting on her looks
was covered recently, you framed yourself as an AFC in this one. For me, I
would have used their animated conversation as my way in. It paces their
reality and at the same time keeps them in a good state. Which you can use
and link to yourself. As for
the freeze, I read in The Secrets To Making Love Happen ( a book on
handwriting analysis, available from Straightforward ), that the author
paced a bitchy attitude and it worked.
Bill (Commenting on Riker's comment that "This is both the advantage and the
danger to having Ross provide the canned patterns to people"): Ross has
taught that about 20% of the HB's will shut up and let you run pattern after
pattern. And that this is the first level of a speed seducer. Now if you
compare success of using only patterns vs the AFC, that is one big huge
advantage to the patterns. Keep in mind that as Riker wrote, your goal is to
become familiar with the language structure. As you achieve that you will
find your success rate improving.
Bill (Commenting on Riker's comment that he thinks that some guys would do
well to have some basic Acting/Drama training): Acting classes a good
recommendation. Both for becoming congruent in your actions and as a place
to sarge. At the Essential Skills seminar, I received a lesson in congruency
from Ross. Doing the exercise in building and anchoring states, a brother
and myself were having trouble building a state. Ross came over to assist.
His action of being so congruent with the
state made a huge difference in being able to build the state.
Craig: (Commenting on MSzypula's comments and my comment about how he made
getting certain women to go with him where I say he made "it sound so easy.
Sure he could've invited these girls out with him -- what makes you think
they will agree? And you just bring them back to the pad and they go for
it? Too vague, don't you think?") I do this shit all the time, and it is
one of the most effective ways for me personally of hooking up. Let me
explain...
It looks to me like MSzypula did an EXCELLENT job of pacing with these women
and they had a great time hanging out with him and his friend. So if
instead of saying, "Hey girls, were having a party, give me your numbers and
I'll let you know when it is, etc," he had said, "Hey, were going to the
Derby Club on Saturday, you all should come with us! It's so much
fun...they've got 2 dance floors, 3 bars, and killer music, we'd have an
awesome time!" The convo from there could go two ways, neither of which is
denial since the girls did have a great time hangin' with MSzypula and his
friend.
Nuderection #1
Girl #1 (The one who wanted him the most, we will call her Suzy), thinks to
herself, "Yeah, this guy is hot, and so is his friend, not to mention fun to
hang out with...He didn't try to hit on me all night, maybe Saturday he will
make a move. I'm getting horny just thinking about it!" and says "That
sounds fun! We aren't doing anything Saturday are we?"
Girl #2 (The super hot one he told about her energy and did some SS on),
thinks to herself, "This guy is really interesting, not only that, he has a
hot friend and they are both great dancers...They were really fun to hang
out with and didn't try to hit on me all night, unlike the jerks I'm used
too! And I think Suzy has a little crush on him...Heh heh!" and says, "No I
don't have plans and I've never been to the Derby before...Let's check it
out!"
Girl #3 (the one he did a lot of humor on), thinks to herself, "Yeah, this
guy is really funny and his friend is a great dancer...And I know Suzy likes
him...Besides, I've been to the Derby before and it rocks!" and says,
"Sounds good!"
Tag along guy: Thinks to himself, "Man, I'm getting my girls stolen out from
under me again, but at least these guys are really cool. I wonder if they
are asking me to go along too. Damn I wish I would have bought that SS
basic home study course!" and doesn't say a damn thing.
MSzypula says, "Great! Give me your phone numbers and we'll arrange a place
to meet up!"
Suzy gets out a piece of paper and writes down all of the girls numbers on
it, but hopes that he calls her first!
Saturday, MSzypula calls up Suzy, knowing that she is very willing to go and
will definitly bring her friends, and says, "Hey, call up girls 2 and 3 and
tell them to meet with us and my two buds at 9:00 at Chili's for a some
drinks, then from there we'll go to the Derby. After the Derby I usually
have people over at my place to keep the party rolling, so it will be an
awesome night!" Suzy, "Ok sounds great!...See you at 9!"
>From there MSzypula instructs friend #2 to mack on Suzy all night and keep
her off his tip. He tells the dancer, friend #1, to pimp on girl #3, cause
girl #2 is all for him.
They go to Chili's and the Derby and have a great time, SSing all the way,
meanwhile telling the friends of his that he sees at the club (not the ones
he came with) that there is gonna be an after party at his place. Says,
"Man, you girls wore me out! Let's round everyone up and head back for the
after party...I think some of my friends are already there waiting for us."
They go back to the place, where mad peer pressure and Goldschlager make for
some serious drinking. MSzypula, seeing that he couldn't get girl #2
because she is hooked on dancer boyfriend #1, ends up banging Suzy who still
is a good catch, and since Suzy was driving, her friends have nothing else
to do but sit and wait. Girl #3 has a boyfriend so she goes outside and
ends up having a deep conversation with friend #2, but nothing more. Girl
#2 and friend #2 bang it in the other room. Tag alone guy makes the mistake
of spending his money on porn and masturbating instead of saving for the
BHSC.
Nuderection #2
Girls say, "We have plans on Saturday..." MSzypula says no sweat, we go all
the time. Give me your numbers and I'll call you up next time we roll.
Repeat nuderection #1.
This was my normal Saturday night routine for the awesome year that my
friends had their own place. Of course I'm dancer friend #1!!!
My Comment: This, for some reason, reminds me of Doc Dave's gym pick-ups.
It is clear that various situations can give rise to specific routines that
will work. Anyone else interested to share their scenarios that they play
out to succeed with women?
===================================================
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