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Would you like to get a free psychic reading?
7/18/01 4:22:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time

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Sisonpyh:
Hey, I want to thank all of the guys from this list who have purchased my
online eBook and to all the guys who have posted the great feedback to this
list about it (I'll pay you guys next week, by the way... ). Seriously, I do
appreciate it, and it feels good to know that I'm helping you get this part
of your lives handled. Your appreciation makes it all worthwhile to me.

Also, thanks to all the great contributors. You're awesome.

OK, someone give me a hug.

Now let's get back to what we're all here for... Gettin' our friction on...

Here's a pop quiz for all the pick up masters.

Which statement is more accurate:
"It all comes down to your attitude."

"It all leads up to your attitude."

???

I come from a place where I was very afraid of women. I mean, it was so bad
that it's taken me years just to be able to ADMIT that I was afraid of them.

Anyway, my biggest success came from learning from other guys who knew what
the hell was going on.

I noticed a common theme among the top pick-up-gurus that I know and have
met:

In one way or another, they all say that "The most important thing is your
ATTITUDE."

Then they go on to say that you have to be confident», indifferent, ballsy,
etc.

The first few times I heard this, I thought "OK, so what the hell does that
MEAN TO ME? How do I do that right now when I don't even know what to SAY to
a chick?" I couldn't imagine myself just strolling up to some hot babe on
the sidewalk and saying "Hey Baby, I'm your confident ballsy Dream Guy".

But after working on this for awhile, I started to get it: Once you
understand the basic female psyche, and the basic main personality types,
the basic situations that you'll find yourself in with women, the basic
things they do to test men... etc. you start to understand the patterns and
you start to understand how to act and react in each situation... which
naturally leads to a calm, confident, laid-back attitude...

Once you KNOW WHAT'S COMING, or to say it a different way, you are "mentally
prepared" for whatever happens, you all of a sudden begin to calm down
because you know that you can handle whatever is going on...

This is similar to a martial arts expert being very calm and relaxed in a
fight, because they have been through most of the possible scenarios and
they know what to do.

A mentor once taught me that Competence = Confidence.

This basically means that once you learn how to do something well, you
become confident when it's time to do it. Now, the other side of the coin is
that most humans feel afraid and self-conscious when they are incompetent in
a situation. When you're focusing on yourself and your feelings of
self-consciousness it's very hard to be effective, by the way.

Example: If you aren't used to approaching women, and you have no idea how
women usually respond to different types of approaches, then you're most
likely going to be self-conscious and afraid of the unknown factors
involved. Amen?

So what I'm interested in figuring out is "How do you get this calm,
confident, ballsy attitude FASTER?"

I mean, if it's the most important aspect of being successful with women (or
at least one of the most important aspects) then how do you make it happen
without going through four years of study and getting a bachelor's degree in
Mack Daddy Attitude?

My ideas:
1) Model calm, confident guys and then imitate them. Check out some James
Bond movies.... watch Thomas Crown... watch how Rhett acts around Scarlet in
Gone With The Wind. Notice the subtle things that these guys do. I've
noticed that confidence and indifference are usually communicated by SLOW,
deliberate movements.


2) Practice calm, confident behavior physically and mentally. I've practiced
turning my head slower, moving slower... even blinking slower in order to
appear more cool and confident. It's important to constantly use mental
rehearsal as well as physical rehearsal. Imagine sitting across from
yourself and watching yourself act the way you'd like to act. Also, it's
useful to practice in front of a mirror to see what you look like... it's
also useful to record yourself on tape to hear what you sound like. Most
people don't realize how NOT sexy they talk. It takes practice, but it's
damn worth it.

3) Don't let things bug you. Stop reacting emotionally. Stay calm when
others get freaked out. Be cool, calm and collected. I've known several guys
that get emotional and dramatic waaaaaaay too often. This telegraphs that
you're insecure and not tough. If others get upset, you stay calm. If a
woman gets dramatic and emotional, you keep a totally calm attitude and say
"You're so cute when you're mad..." Don't get sucked in.

4) Learn about anything mystical, romantic, or predictive so you know it
better than them. lol... I love this. Women just love mystical arts, ancient
romantic traditions and stories, and fortune telling. I'd say that if you
stopped 100 random women on the street and said "Hi, would you like to get a
free psychic reading?" that about 95 of them would say "OHMYGOD, REALLY?
Yes, I'd love it!" For some reason, women love to hear other people guess
their futures, personality types, or whatever. If you learn astrology, you
can do charts for women... or learn palmistry and read palms... whatever.
The key is to LEARN SOME HISTORY WITH THE ART. Women LOOOOOOVE to hear about
the ancient and romantic history of whatever the mystical psychobabble that
you're rattling is. And it allows you to be the expert in the conversation,
and also in control of the conversation. Very useful.

5) Fake it till you make it. I know, this sounds trite... but you really
need to learn all of the things that add up to a confident, kick-ass
attitude and then do them until they're natural. If you've ever tried
playing a musical instrument, then you'll know what it's like to feel
awkward. But after a few weeks of some basic exercises, you begin to feel
like you can actually do them. And then, all of a sudden, one day you're
playing songs. Fake it till you make it. If you stay with the part, no one
is ever going to say "Hey, you're not really a confident guy, are you? You'
re just faking it!"

I'm not sure that I've mentioned it, but I now do a weekly email newsletter
of my own. If you want to subscribe, just come over to my website at
http://www.doubleyourdating.com and enter your email address on the way in.
Don't use an AOL address because they're impossible to deal with... but come
subscribe. It's good stuff.

On NLP as it relates to my experience with seducing women...

I've gotten a lot more questions and comments lately about NLP and why I
don't refer to it very often.

Here's my perspective on NLP and whether or not it's useful for seducing
women.

First, let me give you a little history and background on NLP so you know
where I'm coming from.

NLP was originally developed as a method of doing THERAPY.

The founders met back in the early 70s at UC Santa Cruz up by San Francisco.

Richard Bandler was a gestalt therapist, mathematician and information
systems specialist that was in school. I've heard him described as a
long-haired chain-smoking therapist and such (I've seen Bandler live, and
met him in person on a number of occasions... and he's a pretty intense
guy). Grinder was a professor of linguistics, and was one of Bandler's
teachers.

Bandler invited Grinder to see some of his Gestalt Group Therapy work to see
if he could use his knowledge to find any "patterns" in the way the group
therapy was conducted.

They thought they were on to something, so they teamed up, and then went and
checked out a couple of the top group therapists of the day, Virginia Satir
and Fritz Perls to see if THEY had any patterns in their Therapy work. They
also went and studied the top Hypnotherapist of the day, Milton Erickson, as
well and integrated what they learned from him into the mix.

They used a process that is commonly called "modeling" to figure out exactly
what these very effective therapists were doing. In a nutshell, they would
watch very closely and record the exact words, sequences, and body language»
of these therapists to see what was working for them.

What they found is that each has certain things that they did in certain
sequences (that they were usually unaware of) which caused them to be
successful with patients.

They then took all of these "patterns", simplified and refined them, named
them, and came up with NLP.

They then took all of this information and wrote the first two books about
Neuro Linguistic Programming (The Structure Of Magic Volumes I and II). If
you've read these books (I have) then you know that they are about DOING
THERAPY and helping people with psychological and behavioral problems.

Later, as they wrote future books, they started to include just about
everything under the sun in their "New Technology." They took from many
disciplines, and just kind of kept adding it all under the umbrella of NLP.

The points that I want to make here are:
1) They originally developed NLP as a THERAPY tool.

2) They used a process known as MODELING to study effective therapists and
create the techniques. (Of course, now modeling has also been brought under
the NLP umbrella).

A quick background on my and my experience with NLP, specifically as it
relates to success with women.

I started studying NLP in about 1992 or 93 when I first got into the
business world. It was recommended by a seminar teacher, and it sounded
fantastic.

So, being the learning nut that I am, I got into it pretty heavy. I read all
the original NLP books. I probably have 50 books and tapes on NLP. I've seen
Bandler live and met him in person on several occasions. I've trained with
Tad James... I've made friends with the guy that originally trained Tony
Robbins and Tad James and been to his house a couple of times in Washington
D.C. One of my mentors was friends with Milton Erickson's daughter... I have
all of Robert Dilts' videos... I've read all of Michael Hall's stuff... you
name it.

I then went back and studied the people that THEY studied to create NLP. I
got probably 25 books by and about Milton Erickson. I have most of Fritz
Perls books. I have a couple of Virginia Satir's books... like I said, I'm a
nut. By the way, I've actually read most of this stuff too... and it can be
pretty dry at times.

I even went and bought some of the original books on linguistics from
earlier this century (Alfred Korzybski's concepts of Time Binding and such
in his books "Science and Sanity" and "Manhood of Humanity"... want to talk
about dry reading...).

Now, when I originally wanted to start learning about how to meet women, I
thought "Hey, maybe there's a way to use NLP for picking up chicks..." But I
just couldn't put it together and make it work. Lord knows I tried, though.
Ross seems to have figured out some interesting ideas with it, but almost
none of his best stuff is 'straight' NLP.

Anyway, one day about three or four years ago, I met a guy who was a Mack
Daddy with women. To this day he's probably the best I know at picking up
women for sex that night (this guy will bring a hot woman home with him 4
out of 5 nights he goes out... no kidding). I was talking to him about the
topic one day, and I ran some of my NLP ideas by him about rapport, anchors,
descriptions, etc.

To summarize, he got a disgusted look on his face and said "What the hell
are you talking about? That's faggot shit!"

I was shocked. I thought I was on the right track, but here I had this guy
who was clearly a lot better than me at meeting women telling me that this
stuff wasn't good for meeting women.

So I went out and met a bunch of other guys that were great with women. The
bottom line is that I used MODELING to figure out that the kick-ass pick-up
artists weren't doing any of the traditional "NLP" techniques. As a matter
of fact, they were violating them all the time.

These guys were breaking rapport early on, mismatching women's behavior,
acting pushy, and all kinds of other VERY non-NLP type things. (Now, I'm
sure that someone out there is creative enough to figure out how these are
all actually explainable by NLP... but give me a break. They're explainable
by MODELING, but not by NLP).

Remember, NLP was designed as a therapy tool... duh. I know that a lot of
women need therapy, but... lol.

Anyway, my point is that learning straight NLP to pick up chicks is like
learning how to build cars so you can drive one.

Have you ever heard the phrase "Just tell me what time it is, don't tell me
how to build a fucking watch!"

Well, BINGO.

You can go to a one week course and be a certified "NLP Practitioner" (Tad
James even does a week-long course where you can be certified in NLP,
Timeline Therapy, AND Hypnosis all in a week). Another one week or ten day
course gets you a certificate with the words "Master Practitioner." And
finally, another week or ten days and you're a "Trainer." Are you catching
my drift? You can spend a month in training and then start selling seminars
for hundreds or thousands of dollars as a "Certified NLP Master
Practitioner" or "Certified NLP Trainer."

Points to ponder:
1) Most of the really great pick-up artists that I've known don't use
traditional NLP to do it.

2) Most of the NLP experts that I know couldn't get laid if Jenna Jameson
was in the room.

If you want to know how to do great therapy and make people feel calm and
nice and wonderful, study NLP. If you want to learn how to meet women, read
my book. It's based on my personal modeling of top pick-up artists and other
guys who are successful with women (not therapy). It comes with a 100%
satisfaction guarantee or you get your money back. Check it out at
www.doubleyourdating.com.

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