Fluff talk is an important part of approaching a girl, especially if you plan to lauch
into patterns, which you can’t begin the conversation with on their own. Fluff talk is
also needed, if you plan to continue with eliciting values – you must have had at least
some sort of a casual conversation with the girl, for then it would sound only natural for
you to have become a little more interested in her, to the point of asking all sorts of
questions:) The number one rule of fluff talk is – direct the conversation towards and talk about
FEELINGS. What fluff talk usually ends up being is an exchange of facts – “where ya
goin?”, “whatcha doin?”, “what did you do today/yesterday?”,
“oh that’s interesting”. Facts are a BORE! Giving you her facts makes her feel
NOTHING. Neither has she any use for the facts you are giving her. So grab any opportunity
you have to get to feelings! “So what did you do yesterday?” “Oh I went skating” “You like skating?” “Yes:)” “Makes you feel good?:)” “Yeah:)” “I know what you mean…” And you go on to describe skating as the most liberating, beautiful, earth-shattering
experience (that’s what making up patterns on the fly is all about:). Or have her describe
you her feelings herself, if she is a talker. Voila – you’ve switched from fluff talk to
patterning in a blink of an eye:) She feels enthralled. But you don’t know how to follow up on that. So let the the fluff
talk continue. “So… em… have you eaten anything today?” “Yea, some sandwitches in the morning. Why?” “Well I was just hoping to pick up on some tips on how to have a delicious
breakfast without having to spend too much time making it:) So you like sandwitches?” “Um… not really:) I just don’t have time for much anything else:)” “But if you did, let’s say you had your own personal cook, what would you like to
start your morning with?” “Oh, well (salivating:), fried eggs and bacon, and a large cup of hot chocolate,
and some marmalade (etc, let her describe it to her heart’s content:)” “Ah, that would really feel good wouldn´t it? Still lazily laying in your bed, to
have all that delicious food brought to you on a silver tray – you take a sip of cocoa and
can feel the pleasant warmth of it spreading thorughout your body, which after a
good-night’s sleep is more fresh and receptive to the pleasentness of that feeling than
usual, and you take a taste of marmalade and can feel it melting in your mouth and the
sweetness of it waking you up for yet another wondeful day (etc, now make good use of all
the food she HERSELF told you she likes:)” Once again – fluff talk to pattern talk in no time:) So the ability to fluff talk is essential, but not any kind of fluff talk will do. She
can exchange facts with a million guys and not feel a thing. Or, she can give her facts to
you and get a wonderful return on it:) But remember – FEELINGS:) “So, what’s *your* story?” A less feelings oriented and a more free-flowing approach to fluff-talk. By James L.
King III, ASF: “”So, what’s *your* story?” – this is wonderful question that will get
the other party talking. It’s a good intro, or it can be used right after an opening line. I’ve used it several times to great effect, as the line usually gets women talking
about how they got to the party, or what they do for a living, or about how they know the
host, or why they chose to strip for a living. I learn a lot by paying attention to the
subject matter of their answer. If it’s about what they do for a living, then you know
that’s something important to them … rapport material handed on a platter. If the woman
doesn’t mind sharing personal things about herself with you, this opening gives her the
perfect opportunity, while at the same time allowing those women who are more reserved a
chance to come up with something more benign, like “I’m a friend of the host.” If they respond by not answering or looking dazed and confused or by saying that
question makes them uncomfortable, I move on to someone else. People like that are no fun
anyway, no matter how beautiful they may appear. Always be prepared to mirror the statements they give you … if they reveal something
personal about themselves, you can reveal something that’s personal to you .. perhaps not
the same thing, but something similar. This will feed the rapport between you as a
relationship begins to develop. (This is also a good time to start your patterning
language, if you don’t do it naturally and turn it on or off as needed.) Also, if things aren’t progressing so well with one person, remember that mingling
means moving around … don’t stay with one person so long, otherwise you’re not mingling.
You can always return later. You can use the “story” approach not only with the person, but with
accessories or special clothing the woman is wearing: examining a beautiful necklace, you
can ask “so, what’s the story behind the necklace?” The story approach doesn’t work with un-special clothing: “So, what’s the story
behind those Levi’s?” doesn’t work as well as “So, what’s the story behind that
gorgeous hand-knit scarf?”” See also:
How to introduce
patterns into a discussion
At a party
The “don’t”s of fluff talk | 
Fluff talk
