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Are You Too Predictable to Women?
by Ray Devans
of The Art of the Pickup
December 18th, 2006
Have you ever stepped outside yourself and looked at yourself from the vantage point of a third person, and examined your behavior when you are around women?
This is a great exercise to do for any skill you want to improve in your life.
For example, I used to play chess in high school. When I couldn’t figure out what move to make, I would sometimes stand up and look at the board from the side. This new perspective would almost always give me an idea for a move that I just didn’t see looking straight on.
So today I want you to visualize yourself in your last 5 interactions with women. You can ask yourself a lot of questions about what you could do better, but for the moment I want you to focus on a single question.
“Am I too predictable to women?”
You see, the problem I see with so many guys these days is that they are all acting like every other guy. It is like they are all cookie cutter copies of the next guy, and every date that a woman has goes the same because of this.
The guy says he will call her at 7 PM Wednesday to set up the date, and he calls at 7 PM sharp. She doesn’t want to answer because she knew he was going to call. If he just called a day later, she would have been asking herself for a full day “why isn’t he calling me?” and would be psyched when he did finally call.
He says he will come by at 6 PM to pick her up Friday, and is there at 5:55 just in case. She is turned off because he seems desperate like the last guy she dated.
His date idea is the same as the last 5 dates she has had, dinner and a movie.
The topics of conversation are the same as any other guy. Questions like “How long have you lived here?” And then eventually the deal killer “Am I your type?” (Never ask a girl this, please, pretty please, never ever ask that!)
When she asks him to do something, he basically asks how high he can jump for her.
The list goes on.
You see, in a general effort to please women that most men think is the proper way to behave, the irony is that they become boring, a sort of guilt by association with all the other men who do the exact same thing.
Now, looking at yourself as if you were your best friend watching you, be honest and tell yourself if you are just a bit too predictable with women.
If the answer is yes, you need to start mixing things up a bit!
If a girl asks you to do something, tell her you will “get to it later… maybe”.
Ask her what things make her feel truly alive, not what she does for a “living”.
Ask her what her dreams are in life, not what she had for lunch today.
When she tells you her dreams, ask if she has made any progress towards achieving them. If she says “no”, then challenge her about that.
If you are meeting her for coffee, get there 15 minutes late instead of 5 minutes early.
Women want stability and predictability in a man when they are married, and even then it gets old after awhile. What all women really want at a deep level is a man who can give them adventure and is in control.
And being in control means being able to act on your desires, not on the desires that society and convention says you should act on.
So keep her off balance, don’t be predictable.
Don’t know how to do this effectively? Check out “The Art of the Pickup»” DVDs. See what Nick does when Samantha asks him to go get her some sugar, it’s classic. The DVDs are full of other great examples of how to be unpredictable and in control of the frame with women.
Remember, when you want predictable results - you don’t want to BE predictable!
Ray Devans
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