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The Terrible Twos (and Ones and Threes)
by Jay Valens
of The Art of the Pickup
September 14th, 2006
Did you think your days of algebra were over? Today we are going to get down to practical math.
I’m not going to lay down these stats as if they are 100% all-the-time guaranteed to be the case, but they are prolific enough that you can treat them as 100% while you are building an understanding and familiarity with pickup.
We’re going to cover the social law governing the size of groups and how they help or hurt you depending on your goals.
When you approach new women, you can look at the approach in one of three ways:
- Social practice
- Getting contact info (phone, email) to follow up with later
- Date her that same day
For practice, the social law of group size doesn’t matter. This is the time you try out new stories, attitudes, and build up your social competence.
For getting contact info, the social law of group size only has a little affect, in that the girl has to consider the judgment of her friends (about her) if they see her giving her contact info to someone, even someone she likes.
In this case, here is how the math works:
- Solo girls: So long as you properly attract her, getting her contact information is a non-issue.
- A girl with 1 friend: You will need to engage both her and her friend to diffuse the girl’s concern that her friend will be judgmental of her.
- A girl with 2 or more friends: Same as if she was only with 1 friend.
For dating a girl the same day you meet her, the social law of group size has a HUGE affect.
The girl has to not only consider the judgment of her friends (about her) if they see her leave with you, but you must also consider the ramifications of how to separate her from her group.
By “dating” same day, I mean anything from taking her for coffee or a snack or all the way to sleeping with her.
In this case, I’m not going to explain the math (separation and extraction will be covered in another newsletter), I will just give you the stats for what works and what doesn’t:
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If you are by yourself:
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- Solo girls: So long as you properly attract her, your only resistance will come from the combination of: her internal social pressures, her trust of you.
- A girl with 1 friend: Unless you can attract her friend at the same time and intend to bed them both (let’s not get ahead of ourselves here!) then this situation is not geared well for setting up a “date” the same day
- A girl with 2 or more friends: Same as if she was only with 1 friend. You may be able to extract and isolate her from the 2 friends without making those friends feel lonely (the have each other to keep company), but you run a great risk of being blocked by them which requires a higher set of skills to deal with which you may not have at the time. If you DO have such skills, then this is a non-issue and is almost as good as a solo girl.
----
If you have a wingman:
----
The same rules apply + 1. Meaning, if there are 3 girls, it’s like you are approaching by yourself a set of 2 girls (unless you or your friend can handle to take home 2 girls or one of you can handle 3!)
----
Conclusions:
----
So, for a same day follow-through and maximize your opportunity to bring a girl home that same day:
If you are alone, focus on a girl by herself. In bars and clubs this is rare but you will often find plenty of girls on their own during the day during her workday, school day, while shopping, or relaxing on her break or time off.
If you are with a wingman, the best group size and dynamic is 2 girls. It is the most perfect dynamic, actually, for 2 guys, and is most common to be found in bars and clubs and sometimes when girls are shopping or milling about their day around a city.
If you are alone, a 2 girl group is the WORST dynamic unless you can get BOTH or you’re willing to engage both equally, build the clear interest of one, and just contact close.
A girl solo can be handled (no real obstacles) and 3 or more girls (or 1 girl with 2 or more friends) is fine, too, because she can be separated from the group when interest is created without the others feeling left out (they can occupy themselves) or needing to blocking you.
If you don’t have the skills yet to get past such a potential obstacle then focus on such groups as practice and for reliable results stick to solo girls.
I know the scope here may SEEM a bit limited, but I am not saying other group dynamics are not possible to achieve success with; I am saying for the guy who is just beginning to get good that these are the most RELIABLE dynamics to focus on while you build an understanding and familiarity with pickup.
OK, finally, so what if you see a girl you absolutely MUST have but the dynamic of the group size does not match the math here and you’re not yet familiar enough with pickup to handle separating out the girl you want? Treat the entire group as one and move them all to a location you can consider your “home turf” (a gathering, after-party, etc).
Once there in your own territory, quietly separate out the girl you want, treating her as a solo girl in that environment (your environment).
Doing that, you are less likely to be blocked by her friends since you are not really taking her anywhere – she is already THERE!
There is much more to group dynamics but so long as you apply the rules of engagement in this newsletter, you will be covering at least 80% of the scenarios you will likely encounter and knowing which ones offer the best potential for success.
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready now go go go…
Jay Valens
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