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Effective Mindsets For Interacting With Women
by Ben - Modern Man Coach
of The Modern Man
January 3rd, 2006
One thing that has always fascinated me is the negative mindsets that guys take on when “approaching” women.
“She couldn’t possibly be interested in a guy like me”
“She’ll probably reject me”
“I’m not good-looking enough"
“I don’t know what to say”
Any of that sound familiar?
What is actually happening with a mindset like that?
I will tell you.
A lot of guys secretly believe that they are not good enough. Despite other great successes in their life, it all pales in insignificance the moment they are in the presence of a beautiful woman. They simply believe that they are not worthy.
And you know what?
They aren’t.
Because if they THINK they are unworthy, then it is true. All that needs to change is their THINKING.
Not the looks. Not the money.
The thinking.
Let’s reverse the roles for a minute here…
Imagine you are an attractive woman standing in a fairly busy bar. A nice guy approaches you and starts a conversation. Although he seems pleasant, you notice that he’s a little nervous. Understanding that it can be difficult for people to start new interactions with strangers, you allow him some time to start feeling comfortable. You both chat away and things are going okay, but…………something just feels amiss.
Then you realize something.
Can you guess what the attractive woman has realized?
I am going to tell you.
Wait for it.
THIS GUY FEELS BENEATH ME.
The most disappointing thing is that millions of men do this everyday all over the world.
And it doesn’t have to be like that.
Later in the newsletter, I’m going to give you some mindsets to use that will help you avoid becoming nervous or intimidated by attractive women. For now let’s get back to the reality of attractive women.
If you were an attractive woman, would you rather:
TRADE UP?
Or
TRADE DOWN?
We all know the answer.
The message I am trying to get across here is that if you take the mindset of “She is to hot for me” into an interaction, she is going to feel it. Even if you try to camouflage it with scripted conversations and ‘alpha male»’ body language».
Your chances with her will be over before they begin.
So what’s a guy to do?
How does he overcome this limiting belief?
What I am going to tell you now is something very profound. It is something that has changed my life and runs deep as a core belief at The Modern Man.
BEING SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING IS A CHOICE.
Yes.
It is that simple.
You can CHOOSE to accept that there are a number of SKILLS required in order to be successful with women and dating.
Then you can DECIDE to LEARN THEM and change your life for the better.
What about mindsets?
Yes, they too are a CHOICE.
The power of choice is amazing. You can choose to feel above, equal or beneath any woman. You can choose to BELIEVE that you are an amazing guy and can have the prettiest of women.
YES YOU CAN.
And you can bet that she’ll be attracted to and intrigued by your confidence and self-belief.
I want you to stop and imagine that you are being interviewed for a new job.
Although it will be a challenging role in unchartered territory, you BELIEVE that you’re the right man for the role. You chat to your prospective employer KNOWING that you would be an asset to the company. You are relaxed and confident and the discussion is light-hearted and genuine. You are interested to find out if this company and the employer are for you.
Then you leave.
Why the analogy?
This is the way I think about starting interactions with new women.
All you are trying to do is find out if she is for you. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a relationship or some fun, both parties are meeting in a neutral manner to find out if some sort of partnership could work.
If you meet her and it doesn’t work out it is NO BIG DEAL. Go meet another woman.
CHOOSING YOUR MINDSET
I’m going to give you some quick pointers on effective mindsets for interacting with women.
You can literally say these things to yourself all the time:
1) Women adore me.
2) I’m relaxed and confident.
3) I proactively provide opportunities for women to get to know me.
4) I create opportunities for me to get to know women.
5) I let events unfold naturally.
6) I’m great with women.
Sounds simple.
Again, it is.
When you begin to think like that, you’ll notice a whole new world emerging. What once seemed difficult and intimidating will become fun and intriguing.
You can CHOOSE to open new adventures and allow women a chance to get to know you.
The choice is yours.
Ben - Modern Man Coach
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