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How To Keep A Woman Interested In You
by Modern Man Dan
of The Modern Man
November 2nd, 2006
The kind you could spend hours and hours thinking about? And calling...
Well, here's a very interesting e-mail we recently received from a subscriber. (Another one from Canada - what's going on with you guys? Lol!).
"Hey coaches, I have a good question for you.
For starters I'm a 24 year old guy who just met this 21 year old girl who I think is just amazing. We spent pretty much an entire week together or just talking on the phone. I work during the week and she works in the evening and has night classes. But it seems that the week after that perfect week she really doesn't seem to have the need to call much, or even try to get a hold of me. It's been a while since I've actually tried to have a solid relationship, although I've had plenty of 2-3 night stands I guess you could say. Saying that, I think I have a good grasp on the meeting girls part. I agree completely and found your newsletters very useful, although I would really like to find out what step 2 is.. The step for KEEPING her hooked. If there are any tips on keeping them interested or wanting more, I would could really use your help here. I'm finding myself pretty lost now, and I
really hope this one doesn't get away from me. Please help me modern man!
Chris (Canada)."
Cheers for the e-mail and thanks for the plug about our newsletters! Glad you're finding them useful.
Ok, so let's work this out for you.
I'll start by asking you a question: How do you make a person really want something?
Do you:
a) Give them more than enough and drown them in it? Or;
b) Make it a CHALLENGE to acquire?
Come on.
No doubt you've heard a woman say "I like a man who is a CHALLENGE."
When a woman says this, she is basically saying "Hey, this is HOW to get me interested in you."
Yet, a guy will usually ignore the clues, say something like "But, she's different than all the other girls..." and go on to spoil the CHALLENGE by:
1) Bombarding her with phone calls.
2) Allowing phone calls to go for hours until she gets tired of talking and ends the call.
3) Expressing his feelings early on in the piece.
4) Being too available.
5) Being overly-nice and agreeable.
6) Behaving as though she has already won him over.
7) Being clingy and needy.
Not good.
So, instead of talking to her on the phone every day for a week, here's an alternative approach you could've taken:
* Talked to her once or twice for the week.
* Had fun on the phone and then said "Cool...well, good talking to you again - I've got to get back to _______" or "Cool...well, good talking to you again - I've got to get ready to leave. _______ and I are meeting up for a ________ (coffee/tea/drink/etc)."
* Organized a meet-up instead of just talking on the phone for hours like one of her GIRLFRIENDS would "Hey, I've got to get going now...but let's meet up for a coffee later this week...I'm going to be busy on Tuesday and Wednesday night, but I can do Monday at 8pm or Thursday at 7:30pm.
How about you?"
To quote your e-mail "I'm finding myself pretty lost now, and I really hope this one doesn't get away from me."
So, you may also be thinking "Is there still hope to turn things around and have her regain interest in me?"
Well, I only know what you've told me in your e-mail thus far, so I'm going to assume that you haven't completely ruined it and give you some BONUS POINTERS just in case:
1) Only provide a LIMITED supply, so she has an opportunity to MISS you.
Think about this...
Drinking water is WASTED in developed countries, yet TREASURED in third world countries where there is a LIMITED supply.
Why?
Because people in developed countries can TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. It flows so readily that they don't need to THINK about how they will get their next fix.
The opposite is true for those living in third-world countries. Water doesn't flow as readily, so when they gain access to the LIMITED supply they
feel what?
PRIVILEGED.
Trust me when I say "You will be doing her a FAVOR by providing her with the opportunity to MISS you."
Don't make the mistake of being a pushover.
2) Have her trying to get into a relationship with YOU, rather than you trying to get into a relationship with HER.
a) Have her hint at moving things forward.
When the time comes for talking about 'being together,' let HER start hinting at it. Once she has done that, you can then move the conversation forward on the topic.
But let her start it.
b) Make friends with more women and MAKE SURE she knows about it.
Don't blatantly say "I've got other girls who are interested in me, so you'd better claim your prize soon honey!"
That would be stupid.
But imagine what would happen if you DID know other women and had the opportunity to say something like "...I was chatting to my friend Sarah the other day...and she said _______" or "...My friend Michelle just got back from overseas...it was so good to catch up again...we went for a coffee the other day..."
You can BET she'd be thinking "...So does he like Sarah? ...and now that Michelle is back, will he lose interest in me? ...I'd better meet up with him soon and show more interest."
3) PLAYFULLY tease her about calling you and wanting to see you too often (even if she only calls you once a week).
For example: The next time she calls you on the phone, PLAYFULLY say something like "You again?? :) Geez...I really can't cope with another stalker. What on Earth am I going to do with you girl?"
So there you have it; some useful insights to retain a woman's interest and attraction in you.
Now go find some women!
Cheers
Modern Man Dan
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