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mASF post by "PIL0T"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, July 7, 2005[SNIP]
>I like to couple it from an the idea of having a set conversation threads
> (got that from GoneSavage). That also happens to me naturally.
I think everybody has a stockpile of cool conversation threads they like to
talk about.
If you tell a story or have an engaging discussion about a certain topic and
it gets a good reaction you're going to put that in your arsenal.
> The way I see it, when I'm been spontaneous for instance 20% in reusing my
> own routines, and thats cool, but the other 80% would be using my own
> simple
> conversation skills, the ones I mentioned earlier to be able to deliver a
> good simple story, even for the first time,
I just read something in Dimitri's latest newsletter where he talks about
situational relevance. It's one thing to be able to deliver a good simple
story or to have an engaging conversation but you don't want to come across
mechanical like you're reading a script. The conversation needs to flow
naturally. I think this is where going in unprepared and spontaneous is
helps.
>and the most important is to be expressive.
Agreed. You want to create emotion.
>It's closely related to be comfortable with yourself and feeling ok with
>your own >feelings.
Yes. Inner Game». Confidence. When I first started out I had no confidence. I
needed liquid confidence to even think about approaching. After many
approaches I've built up pretty good confidence. The biggest thing for me
was losing a lot of my outcome dependence. Of course I want her to react
positively but it doesn't crush me to get "rejected". I read recently
somewhere that there's no such thing as rejection - just shit tests. Cool
frame!
> Good, I can make that fit into my learning model. You used routines to
> push yourself into interaction where you trained you social skills so that
> you
> can now be spontaneous. do you agree?
The canned routines I used to use were a crutch that did help me get into
set. I had a problem where I wouldn't approach unless I could think of a
perfect canned opener or the situation was just so easy ... like she was
wearing a huge purple hat. After my opener I would go into one canned
routine after another. I negged a lot and pissed a lot of chicks off because
I was just coming across as an a$$hole.
As my inner game» and confidence got better my outer game improved. I used to
feel like there was so much I had to remember - like Tyler's 25 Points. I
would obsess over not leaning in or the position of my feet. I look back and
can see I wasn't in the moment.
The key is that I don't obsess about these things now. I stay focused on the
present moment and know that the personality and attitude I've been
developing will serve me well. Sure I find myself slipping up and doing AFC
stuff but I don't obsess over it. I improve with every set.
I've gradually developed true confidence that can't be bought or faked. That
coupled with my real lack of outcome dependence has really taken my game to
another level.
>>Of course approaching a group
>>is different. I think you need
>>to address the
>>group, then isolate unless you
>>are in such a loud location
>>that trying to
>>include everyone in your
>>opener would require the use
>>of a bullhorn.
> The thing is, What do I need to be able to do, in order to do that?
I always bring a bullhorn with me to the clubs. Works great for dealing with
AMOG ;-)
I can't remember where I read it recently but it was a good point about
group approach. Walking into a group and doing a direct approach on the girl
you're interested in is not a good idea. I agree with the idea that you need
to win the groups approval. You have to be careful here not to come across
like you're trying qualify yourself to the group. I usually approach who I
perceive to be the group leader and make small talk and joke around. I
engage as many group members as possible but keep this to less than 5
minutes. I then make my way over to HB.
I wait quite a while before trying to isolate. I find if I try to remove HB
from the group too early I get loads of resistance from her and her friends.
When her friends have accepted your presence and see her enjoying
conversation with you they'll be less likely to CB. Half the time I find the
group actually leaves us. The other half they'll drag HB away to the dance
floor or another part of the bar. I don't let this phase me. I'll see her
again. If she's getting pulled away a lot I'll say "Listen I'm enjoying our
conversation but I can see you're friends are getting jealous. Let's
continue this over drinks tomorrow evening.".
> I was hoping that people will post their thoughts on many different topics
> in the context of learning the game. If you come up with some insight in
> this
> direction, please share it with us.
Will do. I find putting ideas down on "paper" like this helps me analyze and
improve my game. I've read volumes of material and tried many different
methods and techniques in the field. I have some ideas about lonewolf
approach that I will post later.
PIL0T
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