mASF post by "LuNoTiCK"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, May 5, 2005 I am a beginner who has lurked on ASF for a long time. I haven’t even been
able to call myself a keyboard jockey. I was too scared to actually approach.
I’ve done a couple of GSF’s, but I don’t really think it helped me. Once in a
while I managed to get enough balls to approach, but it was never direct. I
would just try to make a situational opener, and I wouldn’t do it with any
authority. My approach was really horrible. I live in New York, but I took a
trip to Boston so that I can sarge with Delta Male (Dan), whose helping me
prepare for a RSI bootcamp the next weekend. This way, I’ll be able to get as
much out of the bootcamp as possible. It would be such a waste to have people
as good as Woodhaven and Dimitri just help me get over my approach anxiety. I
figured I should at least be able to approach and number close.
When I arrived in Boston on Friday night, I was scared to approach, but I knew
I just had to do it. When we first meet up, I watch Dan and his wing Mirage go
up and open a set on the subway. The girls weren’t creeped out, they actually
enjoyed the conversation. We get on the subway, realize we are taking it the
wrong way, get off, have to transfer to find the right way. We took it
completely the wrong way again. Boston subways are very confusing, or it’s
just us. We decide to walk to the club instead. We see a set in the street,
and to help me get over my approach anxiety, they tell me to go in with a very
special opener. So we tell them we needed a second to ask them a simple
question. The girl sees me chewing a piece of gum, and asks for a piece. I
say after she answers she can have a piece. So I go ahead and ask the question
“Hey, you wanna fuck”. Surprisingly they declined, but I gave the girl a piece
of gum anyway. They were surprised, but they weren’t upset. They even wished
us good luck.
So we go to the first club, but can’t get inside because we have to be over 21.
Dan opens a set in the street whose wearing cowboy hats. He’s talking, I try
to get in the conversation, but don’t know what to say. We couldn’t get inside
the club because it was over 21, so we had to go to a different place. I
watched Dan open a set in the street, he gets me in, but I don’t know what to
say, I froze up. Mirage came in the set and kept it alive. I tried to make
smart cocky funny statements, but it didn’t work out too well, the girls just
kind of ignored me. They were just waiting for a guy, and went inside his
Rolls Royce. It was okay, we had to go to another club anyway.
We see another set in the street, as Dan was guiding me on how to approach
them. Dan told me to walk up beside them, a little in front, look over and say
“Hey, What’s up?” As I’m about to, I see Mirage run in front of them, and
throw both his hands up and stops them. He than uses an opinion opener, and we
talk for a bit, and head out to another club. It was a completely different
way to stop them than Dan told me, but it works just as good. So there it was,
two different ways to stop girls who are walking and they both work. We stop
them, and chat them up for a bit and they leave.
Next we are taking the subway, and there’s a cute girl they want me to
approach her. I’m set, I’m pumped, I run up behind her. I yell “HEY!”. She
almost had a heart attack and practically fell down the stairs. Than I say “I
think you’re really cute, I want to meet you”. She made a big sigh and looked
really relieved. I wasn’t going to kill her. I think she said “Thanks, but I
have a fiancé, and showed me the ring.” It was really cool though, even though
I did it wrong, I’m still okay. Than they get me to approach another girl
waiting for the subway. I go up to her and say “Hey, let me tell you
something. I think you’re really cute, I want to meet you” (It’s my favorite
opener, I learned it from Dan). She said she wasn’t from Boston, I also said I
wasn’t. We talked, either I was too shy to ask for a number close, or she
didn’t want to give it to me, I can’t really remember.
The club isn’t really my environment, because I can’t dance, but that doesn’t
really matter. The approach should start outside of the dance floor anyway.
As soon as we enter, Dan approaches like the machine that he is. The club was
so loud, and my projection isn’t great so it was hard. We made a whole bunch
of approaches, I can’t even really remember them. This Asian set opened up
really well. It was two Korean’s and 2 Chinese. One of the girls was really
good looking, and she was into us the most. Two were above average, and one
was average. The average one was the one who wasn’t interested. We talked for
a while and we left. I think we opened them up a total of three times and
finally got a number close outside of the club. I think we all got numbers, I
got the girls number by asking if she has a phone, she said yes, and handed it
to me, I called my number with it. She was like, now we both have each others
numbers. Another noteworthy one was this Bulgarian girl. She didn’t seem to
be into me, but I kept talking, and Dan kept throwing me in, every time I
wanted to leave. She seemed to warm up, but we didn’t dance. Outside of the
club, she gives me a huge smile, and I approach. Her friend is looking at me
like who is this creep. I say “what’s up?” I see Dan and Mirage chasing a
target, and when they left so did my confidence. I’m not sure what to say, and
don’t want to lose them. Complicated for me, and I end up leaving. I should
have tried to close.
Mirage tries a new approach. He goes up to a girl and says “I really hate
your shoes” She says “excuse me”, he repeats himself, and she replies with “I
really hate your face”. Hopefully the approach will work better next time.
The next day, it’s Me and Mirage. Dan has a job interview, so we sarge the
mall for daytime. I’m trying to come across as not creepy. At 1 o’clock we
meet for a GSF. There are a lot of really cool people in the Boston lair. We
have 7 people, and sarging in one group of 7 would be a little ridiculous. We
split off into two groups of two and one group of three. It’s Me, Dan, and
another guy, we’ll call him Michael (it’s not his real name, but it’s to keep
him anonymous). So it’s two newbies and Dan. Michael was into indirect, he
would go up and ask the girls what they thought about pink shorts on a guy. He
had a catalogue with him and asked what they thought about those shorts. We
mainly just got their opinions. I opened a set with him, and opened indirect.
It was a combination of me still being nervous with approach anxiety, and him
being an indirect guy. I tried to come up with a situational opener, I asked
them what they thought about a guy buying clothes for his girlfriend. They
thought it was great, and if I needed help to just ask. They were asking me
what style she liked, I really didn’t know what to say, I was like, uhh I’m not
sure. Than Michael comes in with his shorts, and I had to switch it up with
the fastest thing I could think of. I was like, well I just wanted your
opinion on that because Michael’s girlfriend wants to buy clothes for him, and
wanted to see what you thought if it was the other way around. We talked for a
little more, but the set didn’t go great. At least they weren’t scared when we
approached.
Me and Dan see a two set, so of course we approach them. One of the girls is
Thai, and the other is Korean. I was initially talking to the Thai while Dan
talks to the Korean. They weren’t very open to talking with us, but I answer
the Korean girls question in Korean (I know a little bit). Than we switch I
talk to the Korean and he talks to the Thai. The set went beautifully. We
both # close. The only thing is the Korean girl is going back to Korea in a
couple of days. I was happy, I finally did it. I got a # close. We end up
having a LAIR meeting. We answer each others questions and help each other
out. We give our opinions on everyones strengths and weaknesses. To make a
good day great, I see a Vietnamese girl on the train, and open her direct. I
say “Hey, whats up? Let me tell you something. I think you’re really cute, I
wanna meet you” She was flattered. We talk for a couple minutes and than the
person behind her leaves. So I sit behind her, just because I wanted to sit,
and she turns a little to the side so she can face me. It’s my stop so I
suggest we talk again sometime. She tells me her really long email, but
neither of us have a pen and paper. I give her my phone and she writes her
number in it. Another great one.
Sunday was an even better day. Things were just wonderful. Dan goes up to
this three set, and goes up to one girl. Her two friends leave so that he can
# close her. That’s just how tight his game was. I approached a lone wolf at
the bookstore and got her number in a couple of minutes. We approach a bunch
of sets, things are going great. The girls love us. High school girls look so
good, it’s scary, just gotta make sure their legal.
I opened a two set direct. At first I was a little scared because there was a
security guard around. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Like talking
to people is wrong. The set opened up nicely though, and we talked for a few
minutes. The girls were resistant to the close. Dan closes his girl fairly
easily, and I’m trying to get mine to close. The girl was a little resistant
to the number close, so to close, I asked to see her phone, and dialed my
number. I don’t know why, but she didn’t mind. If I ask, she said no, but
since I just did it, she was okay with it. The security guard watched,
everything went okay. He probably thought we were gods when he saw us # close.
The coolest set we did was a huge set. It was mixed with like 9 people, guys
and girls. Dan opens up the set, and we talk. The girls tell us their all
cheerleaders, we believe them. We talk about different things for a while.
The girls than tell us they are part of the mock trial team and they are not
cheerleaders. We weren’t phased by it at all. We keep talking, and I turn
around. All the guys are gone, I didn’t even realize. I can’t believe what
just happened. We ended up # closing.
I was really happy right about then. We were doing great. I felt like I
could do it all, I was just a cool person. Too cool. We went to go get some
tea, Boston has some really great tea. I think the place was called Teavana,
and I recommend it completely. Now instead of drinking about a gallon of free
samples, I decided to actually buy some. I wasn’t sure, so I asked one of the
girls to help me. She was a really cool girl who I should have tried closing.
The tea takes 5 minutes, and I made a comment about it being a long time. She
said it’s because it’s made with love. I was asking questions about Boston,
and she was answering them, and people just joined in on our conversation. It
was great.
We ended up running into Mirage at the mall. We sarged a bit, but everything
closes at 6 in Boston on Sundays. Mirage fixes my body language. It doesn’t
feel right the way he fixed it, and I have to keep reminding myself to go back
to it. I normally slouch a bit, and thought it would be gay if I stood like
that. I was wrong. Dan did a street approach and it was just great. It was a
HB, and he opens up direct. He talks her up for a couple minutes than he
brings in Mirage. Her job came up somehow, and Mirage responded with saying
“you do bitch work”. She didn’t think that was funny, but we did. She walked
away, and than she turned back around. Than he said he does bitch work, she
asks him what he did and he said he’s an ass model. The set didn’t close, but
it was still good, because it made us laugh. PU shouldn’t be a job, it should
be fun.
That night we did phone game. I wasn’t sure of how to do it, and just tried
it out after watching Dan do it. I ended up just sounding nervous or canned
when I got the answering machine. I wasn’t sure what to talk about also, it’s
like real life, but there is no person in front of you which seems to make
things harder for me. You can’t use body language. I need to get better at
this phone game. Monday morning one of the girls called me, and we talked for
a little. She said she was busy and couldn’t meet for a day two, I was kind
of rushing things because I’m going back to NY.
Well Monday I did about a couple hours of sarging myself. It wasn’t going
great at all. Approach after approach didn’t work well. It wasn’t that they
wouldn’t open, or weren’t flattered, because they were. Most wished me good
luck. One girl had a huge smile and said thanks. She said no ones ever done
that before, I asked if she was flattered and she said “yes”. I should have
persisted and tried to close. I did get a couple girls who just ignored me.
Most of the girls were saying they had boyfriends or engaged, I would usually
reply with “that’s okay”. They usually smile and laugh, but I need to just
keep talking and keep persisting. I back out pretty easily. I ended up
getting 1 email from a Japanese girl, she was only visiting friends in America
for a few days, and had no phone. I meet up with Dan, and things go better.
He fixes my posture once again, because I was slouching.
I opened up a Japanese girl while she was walking. I came in from the side
and opened direct. She loved it, and I just tried to find some kind of common
ground for conversation. I told her I liked her name and it’s the same as one
of my cousins names. Also I asked how it felt coming to America not knowing
anyone and not knowing any English. Overall it went okay, and I got a # close
from it.
I opened up a two set of Taiwanese girls. These girls spoke like no English.
One was eating, and I opened her up, I tried to sit down, but she wouldn’t let
me. I learned I should just sit down when I open her up. She was resisting,
so I left, kind of nervous and didn’t know what to do. Than Dan makes me open
her up again. I go and open her, and he comes in. Her friend also comes in,
and we talk. We grab some chairs and sit down, it’s really hard to carry a
conversation with them, but we managed. We got a day two for Tuesday, so
hopefully it will work out.
Another set we opened, was a two set. Neither of them were really into us,
but we made it work. One girl was getting jealous because we were talking to
her friend more, so I started talking to her. It made her smile a bit and Dan
was able to get a # close.
Another set after that of two Taiwanese girls. Neither seemed interested at
first, and were like why are you guys talking to us. We just ignored them, and
one was showing interest. We switched, Dan took the one showing less interest,
and I took the one showing more. We talked and were playing around, she was
touching me. It would have worked out, but one girl just didn’t want to talk
to us, so we didn’t get a number. They both have to be into it for that. We
approached a girl getting a job interview, this one didn’t work out. The one
giving the interview started getting upset and said we should leave or she’ll
call security. Dan says he’s heartbroken, but we leave, no need to get thrown
out.
In the train, Dan approaches one girl, who says she has a bf. He keeps
talking and gets past her. She still refuses to give him her #, and says they
can talk on the facebook. He finally gets her email. I approach one waiting
for the subway direct. She says she’s taking care of her bf because he’s sick,
I try to close but am unable to. We’re one stop away from where we have to go,
and I see a girl on my left. She has her ipod on and headphones. I decide to
open direct and only have like 20 seconds. I tell her “Hey, whats up?” She
looks up and takes off her headphones and says “hi”. I tell her “Let me tell
you something, I think you’re really cute and wanna meet you”. She smiles and
says hi, we talk, and I go for the # close. She tells me she doesn’t live in
Boston, and is going to NY in a couple of days. I tell her I live in NY and
she gives in. I give her my Cell phone and she puts her # in. It took me like
less than a minute. Now I didn’t think my verbals were really good, I talked
kind of fast. Dan says my nonverbals were good though so the set worked.
Summary
This weekend was great. The best way for me to learn is by field experience.
I don’t really think there is any better method. To get my confidence up, I
can try all these NLP techniques and all, but it’s just not me. I like to
learn by experience. I need to force myself to approach. Sarging with a wing
is much more fun than going alone by yourself. It’s easier to open sets, but
if the girl is alone it’s easier to open alone a lot of times. I was scared of
approaching, but now it’s much smaller. I can also get # closes. I need to
work on my phone game and day 2’s. Any tips?
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