mASF post by "Nemanja"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, March 3, 2005I need advice from some top PUAs, because I don't want to waste any more time
of my life. For the rest of you guys, know that you won't learn anything from
this topic (except, maybe, how NOT to lead your life), so I don't want to waste
your time.
I have no idea where to start, but I have to start somewhere.
I don't approach women.
Logical question would be "why".
Well, the primary reason (we'll talk about other reasons soon) is that I don't
go out very much. In fact, lately I haven't been going out more then once in a
fortnight!
"Nemanja, PU women is a skill that takes practice. You have to go out at least
four nights a week and approach several sets per night."
I know. I don't go out much, not because I don't want to, but because I don't
have enough friends to go out with.
"Nemanja, if you don't have friends then that should be your primary concern.
It means that you lack basic social skills and probably have significant
weaknesses in character that annoy people. How can you expect to attract women
if you're a geek?"
It's not that I don't have friends and I am not a geek. I was a complete geek,
though. (And don't get me wrong, I'm not the coolest person in the world now,
either. I can be very difficult sometimes, and I am in a constant battle
against my urge to argue with people who have different opinions). Somewhere at
the end of high school (what was almost a decade ago), I decided I had to
change. Ever since then I've been interested in self improvement. All
friendships I have today are no more then 7 and a half years old (I am turning
28 later this year). There was a time when I was going out four nights a week.
But I had no idea how to seduce women at that time, and what's worse, I
constantly had the worst cases of oneities you can imagine. For example, I was
in love with one girl for four wasted years!
Anyway, back to friendships. I had been "best friends" with one guy for 7
years. He is the kind of person who seems very cool when you first meet him,
but with time you see that he is, actually, probably the most annoying person
that lives in this solar system. When we began our friendship, we were both
geeks, so I didn't notice it. However, with time I changed and he didn't, so
five months ago I realized that I'd rather sit at home then go out with him,
and I dumped him. I hope that he's happy now in his LTR with his UG 3.
Some friendships were simply superficial and had a point when I was 22, but
we're so different people now that we just don't have anything in common.
I am an unusual person. You can't easily classify me in any category. I often
surprise even people who've known me for years. That's why so many people call
me a "legend". And that's why I never completely belonged to any gang.
For example, I have a couple of friends from the church. For some two years we
have been quite close, but lately we grew apart. Most of them are either in
LTRs or married, or simply aren't interested in seducing hot women. Definitely,
none of them could be, or would want to be, my wingmen.
I had many female friends. Many of them HBs. If I hadn't been such a nice guy,
and constantly suffered from damn oneities, I could have used them as pivots.
Well, too late for that now. Some of them are in LTRs now and hardly ever see
one another and I fell in love with my best female friend in 2003, and broke
off that friendship when I realized that I could never get her (definitely the
most painful thing I had to do in my life), and now only a few remain. Trust
me, none of them could be my pivots.
A good friend dumped me a few months ago, because I supposedly bothered him and
was difficult. He's a bit eccentric, though, and this bothering he talks about
was in fact that I didn't let him establish himself as alpha against me.
And so forth... BTW, it was always much easier for me to become friends with a
girl then with a guy.
Now, you might ask: "Nemanja, why don't you go out alone?"
Easier said then done. I don't live in a megalopolis with millions of people. I
live in a city with a population of some 250 000. I don't remember people's
faces well, but still I see the same people's faces over and over. In most
cases when I meet someone new (through social circle, of course), they say that
they know my face from somewhere (they know from where, and often have a
pre-formed opinion about me; for some reason people almost never forget me). In
January I met a girl over Internet, and she turned out to be a girl from my
German class from few years ago. Yesterday, it turned out that a guy from my
gym is a cousin from one HB 8 I know from faculty, etc, etc.
The point is that I can't afford to make a fool out of myself in front of a
larger audience, because I could get a bad reputation as a weirdo. Nobody in
this town goes alone to bars. In all these years, I've noticed only one guy who
was (and still is) alone in bars, and he's obviously a weirdo. "How can you
know that, Nemanja?" It's obvious from his bodylanguage, he radiates negative
energy, and never talks to anyone. That's how I know (and other people
commented about him as well).
I think that this city would be a PU heaven for a good PUA. Girls complain ALL
THE TIME how guys here are wussies who don't have the courage to approach them,
or how they approach with stupid and boring talk, etc. Do you think that I
wouldn't LOVE to be a PUA who could go out alone, PU girls left and right and
be the envy of 95% of guys who see that? Yes, I would LOVE that. But I am not a
PUA, and before I'd get a chance to become one, I would get such a bad
reputation that I could be buried for life!
This is a point where I need to tell you a bit about my experience with women
so far.
I had only ONE girlfriend in my life, and that was seven years ago, and lasted
only two weeks! She wasn't bad looking, was a HB 7.5, but had too looney
personality for my taste (she was like Phoebe from "Friends"), so I dumped her.
You can't really call that an experience, because she was sooo in love with me,
that she did the entire job of attracting and seducing. I did almost nothing.
I lost my virginity three months ago, age 27, with a prostitute. I didn't pay
for sex, I paid for the experience. I could simply no longer bear the fact that
I was still a virgin, and that real sex was still in the realm of the
unexplored for me.
The reason I tell you this is to let you know that I don't have the natural
experience of seduction. That's why I spent (and still spend) so much time with
seduction theory. I need routines and conscious knowledge of how to escalate
(again, with specific routines), because I'm not conditioned to speak and
behave that way naturally. In the last year and a half I read:
The Player's Guide on fastseduction.com, better known as TFM (BTW, that guide
is completely based on patterns which, as far as I can see, are barely used by
ASF community; maybe the moderators should consider instructing newbies to read
something else first, and not "RTFM"),
The Gunwithch method,
Mike Pilinski's book "Without Embarrassment»",
David D's Double Your Dating e-book and Advanced Series CDs,
Derek Vitalio's Seduction Science»
Keanu Jegger's Situational Opener Technology
Swinggcat's "Real World Seduction»",
and in the last few weeks:
the entire compilation of posts at Bristol Lair,
The Juggler Method,
countless TD's and Mystery's posts,
and so forth. I probably forgot a thing or two. Somehow I have a feeling what
style would suite me, and what wouldn't, so I am now in the process of reading
routines I like and translating them to Serbian language. That's a lot of work
to be done! But I hardly see an alternative. There are a few routines I'd like
to know, but can't find them, so I may later post a thread and ask for help
from those who have these routines somewhere in the depths of their hard disk.
You probably think that I'm a loser and that I'll hardly make much progress in
PU skills. The interesting thing is that, during all these years, I had some
really hot HBs giving me IOIs, but I usually didn't act on them either because
I was too afraid, didn't know what to do, was stuck in one of my oneities
cases, or God knows what else! And I'm not even good looking. I swear, there
were a few local TV hostesses who I met through social circle and who gave me
strong IOIs. Of course, there were many more girls who I wanted to approach,
who noticed my EC attempts and behaved as "he thinks he could possibly have a
chance with me?! Geek."
Also, although I am somewhat sociophobic, I can sometimes, when I'm in a really
good mood, hold the attention of a really large group of people, lead them, and
make them all have a good time. Like a real alpha... I just love those moments.
But they don't happen very often. On the other hand, I usually feel sociophobic
when I need to talk to a salesgirl. I told you that I'm an unusual person.
You should know about one more insecurity of mine. I have premature ejaculation
and a 5.1" penis. (At least my girth is fine.) I've been fighting my premature
ejaculation for a year now, and I'm making progress, but it's impossible to
tell how much longer this battle will last.
I was thinking that I should concentrate on Internet seduction for now, you
know, ICQ and other IMs, and then with some success under my belt start
approaching girls in bars in rare situations when I do go out, and only then,
maybe start going out alone with the entire PU arsenal in my hands.
But I don't know if this is realistic, and I don't know if this really is the
best path I can take. My dear PUAs, some of you were at the social bottom I am
at now, so I hope that some of you might have a good advice for me.
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