mASF post by "señorlukas"
posted on: alt.seduction.relationships, June 6, 2005Franco, thank you very much. I have a couple of follow-up questions:
On 6/6/05 3:39:00 AM, zarathustra_fi wrote:
>On 6/4/05 8:51:00 PM, senorlukas wrote:
>
>Senorlukas,
>
>>Franco, I have a very similar
>>situation to a previous poster
>>you've advised at the
>>following link, but with a few
>>key differences. I would
>>appreciate your comments.
>>
>>http://fastseduction.com/cgi-b
>>in/search.cgi?action=retrieve&
>>grp=9&mn=1108548905207033
>>
>>My LTR and I have a two-month
>>old baby. So in this case the
>>child is mine and I love the
>>baby very much. Currently we
>>are living in two different
>>countries. Long story short,
>>we are both Canadian, I had
>>been living on this island
>>seven years, and she was here
>>on a work permit. After the
>>hurricane last year she was
>>five months pregnant,
>>conditions on the island were
>>very bad (no electricity,
>>etc.), and she did not have
>>health coverage for a
>>pregnancy. Our apartment had
>>been destroyed so we rented an
>>apartment in Vancouver and I
>>have traveled back and forth
>>to take care of business.
>
>That is a very tought, stressful life.
>May influence a lot the relationship. I
>have been several times in relationships
>where I had to travel and she had to
>travel a lot. On the longer term it is
>unbearable. At first the traveling is
>fun and after some months you start to
>feel you would like to put a bomb on the
>airplane or ship you are going to catch
>to not see it anymore. You have to
>change that as soon as possible.
It's ridiculous because this is a beautiful island and we travel a lot. All my
business is here.
>>Mostly now I am here full
>>time, living in an apartment
>>that I was managing
>>previously, with roommates.
>>Prior to being about 9 months
>>pregnant she was extremely HD,
>>even more than me, which was
>>surprising. She is definitely
>>in love with me and wants to
>>be with me continuously, but
>>at the same time I have a
>>feeling in my gut that she
>>slept with a "friend" of mine
>>on one occasion when I went
>>out of town (not close to the
>>timing of conception - I am
>>not worried about paternity).
>>She has admitted to me that
>>she has cheated on past
>>boyfriends and been with many
>>men,
>
>If she cheated on past boyfriends she
>will do it again. I understand your gut
>feeling.
>
>>but she claims that for
>>the first time she has found
>>the one that she loves and
>>therefore has no interest in
>>other men anymore.
>
>Sounds like some immaturity from her. If
>she would be more mature she would keep
>those things in her head and would not
>share them with you. If a woman shares
>too much her wild sexual and emotional
>experiences with her man and soon after
>says:"You are the one I love. I feel I
>do not want others" what she is actually
>saying is:"I do not understand WHY I am
>not wanting others anymore, I am not my
>former ME" ( = someone who fucks around
>)
>
Actually near the beginning of our relationship I was sitting next to her when
she opened an email from a guy. Her: "I'm sorry but I've moved on". His reply:
"I've been trying to reach you for two months. Selfish bitch!"
I asked her about it and she said she told him she was breaking up with him
when she left Canada to come to the island. I memorized his email address
and wrote to him. He forwarded emails to me where she is telling him how
much she loves him and misses him, not during the time she was dating me
but just prior, living with another man. So that's when she admitted that she
was too scared to break up with him. She said she did not consider it
cheating because in her mind she had left the country and had told him point
blank he was not to come with her.
So I gave her a tender hug and then said, "I understand. But you have cheated
on boyfriends in the past." She blurts out "a couple of times". So it was more
my probing than her actually talking about it, she has been unwilling to talk
about it in most cases.
>What happens here is that she has no
>experience about being really in love.
>If she has narcissistic traits in her
>personality falling really in love may
>even cause a very big crisis to her
>because it changes her view of the
>world.
>
>>Even if
>>this is not true, she
>>definitely prefers to be with
>>me at all times.
>
>Because she felt in love. Now she should
>shift from the falling in love to the
>long-term caring and loving you. Can she
>do that?
>
I believe she has tried to do that but it will be a perpetual struggle.
>>We had two key fights that
>>have changed my entire
>>perspective on the
>>relationship. First, two days
>>before I was set to travel to
>>the island, an ex of hers
>>telephoned and right in front
>>of me, in a very casual
>>manner, she told him the dates
>>of the nine days I was to be
>>away.
>
>That is:
>1. The repetition of her former behavior
>and a test
>2. A lack of respect to you
>3. She is preparing her way to cheat on
>you so that she does not even need to
>hide it
>
>In a word: she is testing how NICE GUY
>you are and is preparing her way to
>cheat on you quite openly.
>
>
>>After the call, I called
>>her on it, and she responded,
>>"he is just a friend that is
>>concerned for me because he
>>knows you travel and he knows
>>I am nine months pregnant! You
>>are always accusing me of
>>cheating on you!".
>
>Bla,bla,bla,bla. Explanations,
>explanations, explanations.. A woman
>with a small child should be at home
>with the child and not go around with
>male friends. Or at least share her
>friends WITH YOU if she really is that
>socially dependant that cannot keep
>herself from meeting other people all
>the time. For example my wife is very
>socially dependant but she has NO MALE
>FRIENDS and all her girlfriends are a
>part of my social network, too. She even
>invites me to "only for girls" parties
>she was going to before alone.
>
Well, she claims that she had no intention of seeing him and did not see him,
he was just calling to check on her. I do not believe her.
>She tried (at a much less extent) this
>shit of "my male friends" and quitted
>when I closed in front of her quite
>young ladies (the youngest was 18) and
>she saw how fast I was getting meetings
>with them..
>
>Women ALWAYS try their way with you. IT
>IS UP TO YOU TO CALL THEM ON THEIR TRIES
>AND PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE FAST!
>
>>Now, except
>>for the one incident almost a
>>year prior, I have never
>>questioned whether she cheated
>>on me. And in this instance I
>>said nothing about cheating,
>
>I get the same feeling from your post
>that you are not really being jealous.
>SHE HAS BEEN TELLING YOU "You always
>have to accuse me of cheating" because
>she is projecting her BAD CONSCIOUS into
>you. Also this is a manipulation
>attempt: she is first putting you in the
>role of the CONTROLLING ONE (this is the
>same strategy I use with women when I
>have MLTRs if they wants to control me.
>I would tell her:"You are jealous
>honey.. please.. don´t control me.. I am
>not the kind of person who likes to be
>controlled".. and tell her that I am
>going to meet a woman "I feel close to
>me..")
>
>>only said I think it's
>>completely inappropriate for
>>an ex to be calling my house
>>and asking this kind of
>>information.
>
>BRAVO! This is what you have to say.
>
>>She stormed out and would not
>>talk to me until I left. After
>>I left she refused to take my
>>calls or answer emails for a
>>further four days. (I called
>>and emailed once each, each
>>day, and said I want an update
>>since she is 9 months).
>
>Sorry but situation does not look good.
>
>>After the fifth day I sent her
>>an email and said I would come
>>back for the birth (a
>>mistake?) but would be leaving
>>shortly after that. I said the
>>relationship is over.
>
>
>BRAVO ! You said the RELATIONSHIP IS
>OVER. You show her that you have balls.
>
>She
>>began slowly to start pleading
>>and sobbing on the phone,
>>apologizing profusely, saying
>>she did not realize how upset
>>the call made me, and that her
>>"shutting down" is her way of
>>reacting because she is afraid
>>of fighting,
>
>Was she in abusive relationships with
>asshole bad guys before? Was she in
>abusive relationship with her parents?
>From where that fear comes?
>
She is very silent on past relationships. I know that her father left when she
was 4. She refuses to talk to him this day. We were in Edmonton visiting her
family with the new baby and he sent a card and $500 as a gift to us. I
suggested we go see him, he's right there, she refused.
>>and she promised
>>never to do it again, she
>>wants a family with me, I am
>>the love of her life, etc.
>
>Okay, you called her firmly on her
>bullshit and she understood that it is
>better to not play games with you.
>
>Now have a read at my post in Techniques
>"Rich descriptions. How to hypnotize her
>back" You will find a lot of information
>on how to teach her smoothly to behave
>little bit better with you..
I will do that right now. Even if only for future reference.
>
>>After coming back, and after
>>seeing this little baby and
>>the way my LTR treats her so
>>loving and kind, I caved. I
>>did, however, not feel as
>>positive as before, and the
>>sex has been much reduced, as
>>I've mentioned, although
>>recently it has picked up a
>>bit. It has been hard for me
>>not to slip into beta when we
>>have gone from 3-4 times every
>>day down to once or twice a
>>week.
>
>Well what you are going through is
>already a MAJOR crisis. She started quit
>a big power struggle when she tried to
>play you like you would be a fool.. It
>is normal you react to that.
to top it off my little brother died while we were homless after the hurricane
.
>
>Have also a read to what has been
>writting in this forum about the
>Lover/Provider continuum (do a search).
>I think she is putting you now after the
>pregnancy strongly into the Provider
>category and the one she did is a major
>attempt to see how much she can
>"FINETUNE" your BRAIN to do what she
>wants.
>
>>SECOND INCIDENT: One night
>>when we were both very tired,
>>she launched into a tirade
>>against me. She accused me of
>>being a neglectful and
>>terrible father and that the
>>baby was afraid of me. This
>>was a total shock to me!
>
>This is a part of her attempts to
>BETAISE you. She sees you as PROVIDER
>and now started the operation "Let´s
>make the Alpha male feel GUILTY so that
>I can control him"
>
Why though? I AM a good man and a good provider. Do you think it's her fear
of abandonment from her father relationship.
>The MEANS she uses in doing this are
>such that I doubt you will succeed in
>being with her on the long-term. STRONG
>call on bullshit is needed here.
Absolutely. But I felt very threatened because to me this is a crazy person
that
is going to give me grief over custody. Anyone know any good lawyers in
Vancouver? I think I should move for a declaration of joint custody as soon as
possible. Do you think that would be provocative or a smart move, because I
do want custody of this little angel, at least jointly.
>>For
>>weeks she had been telling me
>>what a great dad I am, how
>>happy she is, etc. I told her
>>I took these comments as a
>>threat to my relationship with
>>the baby, and she kept on for
>>about 45 minutes.
>>The background is, I had been
>>working a lot on my computer
>>and the baby had not slept
>>well. However I do usually
>>30-40% of the housework and
>>caring for the baby, plus I
>>work to provide, which
>>admittedly only takes me a
>>couple of hours per day. The
>>rest of the time I am reading
>>and researching, which I feel
>>is just as important a part of
>>my financial success as the
>>actual "work".
>>She is clearly jealous of me
>>and I believe this is behind
>>the outburst.
>
>Maybe even envious.
>
Definitely both.
>>After that I told her I was
>>seriously considering seeing
>>other people, that I did not
>>want an exclusive relationship
>>anymore.
>
>BRAVO !
>
>>Part of me feels
>>guilty for saying this because
>>of the baby, but logically I
>>think that on at least two
>>occasions she has violated my
>>bottom line for a
>>relationship.
>
>SHE HAS
>
>>Fast forward four weeks, and
>>she spots over my shoulder an
>>email to a woman I met online.
>>She writes down the email, and
>>last week the night I leave to
>>travel to the island again,
>>she has her SISTER in another
>>city email this girl and ask
>>if she has been talking with
>>me/seeing me, and including a
>>picture of our little girl.
>>Well the shit hit the fan with
>>both her sister and my LTR
>>blasting me with very verbally
>>abusive emails.
>
>Ahahaha. You did VERY WELL in giving her
>back with more social proof for you.
>REMEMBER THIS: WHEN ONE WOMAN IS NOT
>ABLE TO BETAISE THE ALPHA MALE ONE OF
>THE THINGS SHE WILL DO IS TO ASK FOR THE
>HELP OF ALL THE OTHER WOMEN, SOCIETY AND
>GOD TO ACHIEVE THE SAME PURPOSE.
>
>And here you get her and her sister on
>you..
What's funny is that the online girl forwarded my exLTR and her sister a sexy
photo I had sent her of me with my shirt off, leaning back on the bed with a
big bulge in my jeans. lol. Even funnier is my ex has now forwarded THAT
email to about a dozen friends of mine, including a female that I've been
friends with for two years (she's got a boyfriend that whole time), and I am
now getting major IOI's from her. LOL
>
>>Calmly I responded that this
>>was the situation, that it was
>>not without cause. (I should
>>not have been justifying
>>myself but her sister
>>attacking me for being
>>"someone I thought I knew but
>>I don't, a fake", caught me
>>off guard.) I also said that I
>>insist on having complete
>>access to my daughter and that
>>I was keeping notes of her
>>accusations. I think saying
>>that last part may have been a
>>mistake.
>
>The mistake is that your life is
>becoming unpleasant because of these
>fights. You have in your hands a
>"liberated woman" who is almost probably
>LSE (low self-esteem) who is now trying
>to change you into the "nice" Canadian
>husband who does everything she wants,
>even give her the permission of fucking
>her boyfriends on the matrimonial bed.
>
>YOU DO VERY WELL IN GIVING IT BACK TO
>HER but if this mess continues I think
>it would be very healthy from you to
>dump her.
>
>>Well the past few days my now
>>ex-LTR has been sending me
>>sweet emails about the baby,
>>alternating with "call me when
>>you're not too busy getting
>>drunk with your friends".
>>Comments?
>
>What a bitch. Another frame which is
>meant to make you feel guilty. Keep her
>on her toes and don´t let her put you in
>the role of the guilty one.
>
>She will blast if you succeed in
>reframing her attempts of making you
>feel guilty and will do something
>stupid.
Please explain this? What do you mean that she will blast, and what sorts of
stupid things might she do? My number one concern at this point is the
emotional well being of my daughter.
I am also suffering from mental images of her with other men, a turn on but
not healthy I am sure. I need to GFTOW.
>
>Doesn´t look good, sorry.
>
>Franco
>http://www.franco-seduction.com
>Online Seduction School for Single Men,
>Husbands & Players
>
>"Sarge Est Necesse, Vivere Necesse Non
>Est " Gnaeus Pompeius, revised
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