mASF post by "zarathustra_fi"
posted on: alt.seduction.relationships, June 6, 2005On 6/4/05 8:51:00 PM, senorlukas wrote:
Senorlukas,
>Franco, I have a very similar
>situation to a previous poster
>you've advised at the
>following link, but with a few
>key differences. I would
>appreciate your comments.
>
>http://fastseduction.com/cgi-b
>in/search.cgi?action=retrieve&
>grp=9&mn=1108548905207033
>
>My LTR and I have a two-month
>old baby. So in this case the
>child is mine and I love the
>baby very much. Currently we
>are living in two different
>countries. Long story short,
>we are both Canadian, I had
>been living on this island
>seven years, and she was here
>on a work permit. After the
>hurricane last year she was
>five months pregnant,
>conditions on the island were
>very bad (no electricity,
>etc.), and she did not have
>health coverage for a
>pregnancy. Our apartment had
>been destroyed so we rented an
>apartment in Vancouver and I
>have traveled back and forth
>to take care of business.
That is a very tought, stressful life. May influence a lot the relationship. I
have been several times in relationships where I had to travel and she had to
travel a lot. On the longer term it is unbearable. At first the traveling is
fun and after some months you start to feel you would like to put a bomb on the
airplane or ship you are going to catch to not see it anymore. You have to
change that as soon as possible.
>Mostly now I am here full
>time, living in an apartment
>that I was managing
>previously, with roommates.
>Prior to being about 9 months
>pregnant she was extremely HD,
>even more than me, which was
>surprising. She is definitely
>in love with me and wants to
>be with me continuously, but
>at the same time I have a
>feeling in my gut that she
>slept with a "friend" of mine
>on one occasion when I went
>out of town (not close to the
>timing of conception - I am
>not worried about paternity).
>She has admitted to me that
>she has cheated on past
>boyfriends and been with many
>men,
If she cheated on past boyfriends she will do it again. I understand your gut
feeling.
>but she claims that for
>the first time she has found
>the one that she loves and
>therefore has no interest in
>other men anymore.
Sounds like some immaturity from her. If she would be more mature she would
keep those things in her head and would not share them with you. If a woman
shares too much her wild sexual and emotional experiences with her man and soon
after says:"You are the one I love. I feel I do not want others" what she is
actually saying is:"I do not understand WHY I am not wanting others anymore, I
am not my former ME" ( = someone who fucks around )
What happens here is that she has no experience about being really in love. If
she has narcissistic traits in her personality falling really in love may even
cause a very big crisis to her because it changes her view of the world.
>Even if
>this is not true, she
>definitely prefers to be with
>me at all times.
Because she felt in love. Now she should shift from the falling in love to the
long-term caring and loving you. Can she do that?
>We had two key fights that
>have changed my entire
>perspective on the
>relationship. First, two days
>before I was set to travel to
>the island, an ex of hers
>telephoned and right in front
>of me, in a very casual
>manner, she told him the dates
>of the nine days I was to be
>away.
That is:
1. The repetition of her former behavior and a test
2. A lack of respect to you
3. She is preparing her way to cheat on you so that she does not even need to
hide it
In a word: she is testing how NICE GUY you are and is preparing her way to
cheat on you quite openly.
>After the call, I called
>her on it, and she responded,
>"he is just a friend that is
>concerned for me because he
>knows you travel and he knows
>I am nine months pregnant! You
>are always accusing me of
>cheating on you!".
Bla,bla,bla,bla. Explanations, explanations, explanations.. A woman with a
small child should be at home with the child and not go around with male
friends. Or at least share her friends WITH YOU if she really is that socially
dependant that cannot keep herself from meeting other people all the time. For
example my wife is very socially dependant but she has NO MALE FRIENDS and all
her girlfriends are a part of my social network, too. She even invites me to
"only for girls" parties she was going to before alone.
She tried (at a much less extent) this shit of "my male friends" and quitted
when I closed in front of her quite young ladies (the youngest was 18) and she
saw how fast I was getting meetings with them..
Women ALWAYS try their way with you. IT IS UP TO YOU TO CALL THEM ON THEIR
TRIES AND PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE FAST!
>Now, except
>for the one incident almost a
>year prior, I have never
>questioned whether she cheated
>on me. And in this instance I
>said nothing about cheating,
I get the same feeling from your post that you are not really being jealous.
SHE HAS BEEN TELLING YOU "You always have to accuse me of cheating" because she
is projecting her BAD CONSCIOUS into you. Also this is a manipulation attempt:
she is first putting you in the role of the CONTROLLING ONE (this is the same
strategy I use with women when I have MLTRs if they wants to control me. I
would tell her:"You are jealous honey.. please.. don´t control me.. I am not
the kind of person who likes to be controlled".. and tell her that I am going
to meet a woman "I feel close to me..")
>only said I think it's
>completely inappropriate for
>an ex to be calling my house
>and asking this kind of
>information.
BRAVO! This is what you have to say.
>She stormed out and would not
>talk to me until I left. After
>I left she refused to take my
>calls or answer emails for a
>further four days. (I called
>and emailed once each, each
>day, and said I want an update
>since she is 9 months).
Sorry but situation does not look good.
>After the fifth day I sent her
>an email and said I would come
>back for the birth (a
>mistake?) but would be leaving
>shortly after that. I said the
>relationship is over.
BRAVO ! You said the RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. You show her that you have balls.
She
>began slowly to start pleading
>and sobbing on the phone,
>apologizing profusely, saying
>she did not realize how upset
>the call made me, and that her
>"shutting down" is her way of
>reacting because she is afraid
>of fighting,
Was she in abusive relationships with asshole bad guys before? Was she in
abusive relationship with her parents? From where that fear comes?
>and she promised
>never to do it again, she
>wants a family with me, I am
>the love of her life, etc.
Okay, you called her firmly on her bullshit and she understood that it is
better to not play games with you.
Now have a read at my post in Techniques "Rich descriptions. How to hypnotize
her back" You will find a lot of information on how to teach her smoothly to
behave little bit better with you..
>After coming back, and after
>seeing this little baby and
>the way my LTR treats her so
>loving and kind, I caved. I
>did, however, not feel as
>positive as before, and the
>sex has been much reduced, as
>I've mentioned, although
>recently it has picked up a
>bit. It has been hard for me
>not to slip into beta when we
>have gone from 3-4 times every
>day down to once or twice a
>week.
Well what you are going through is already a MAJOR crisis. She started quit a
big power struggle when she tried to play you like you would be a fool.. It is
normal you react to that.
Have also a read to what has been writting in this forum about the
Lover/Provider continuum (do a search). I think she is putting you now after
the pregnancy strongly into the Provider category and the one she did is a
major attempt to see how much she can "FINETUNE" your BRAIN to do what she
wants.
>SECOND INCIDENT: One night
>when we were both very tired,
>she launched into a tirade
>against me. She accused me of
>being a neglectful and
>terrible father and that the
>baby was afraid of me. This
>was a total shock to me!
This is a part of her attempts to BETAISE you. She sees you as PROVIDER and now
started the operation "Let´s make the Alpha male feel GUILTY so that I can
control him"
The MEANS she uses in doing this are such that I doubt you will succeed in
being with her on the long-term. STRONG call on bullshit is needed here.
>For
>weeks she had been telling me
>what a great dad I am, how
>happy she is, etc. I told her
>I took these comments as a
>threat to my relationship with
>the baby, and she kept on for
>about 45 minutes.
>The background is, I had been
>working a lot on my computer
>and the baby had not slept
>well. However I do usually
>30-40% of the housework and
>caring for the baby, plus I
>work to provide, which
>admittedly only takes me a
>couple of hours per day. The
>rest of the time I am reading
>and researching, which I feel
>is just as important a part of
>my financial success as the
>actual "work".
>She is clearly jealous of me
>and I believe this is behind
>the outburst.
Maybe even envious.
>After that I told her I was
>seriously considering seeing
>other people, that I did not
>want an exclusive relationship
>anymore.
BRAVO !
>Part of me feels
>guilty for saying this because
>of the baby, but logically I
>think that on at least two
>occasions she has violated my
>bottom line for a
>relationship.
SHE HAS
>Fast forward four weeks, and
>she spots over my shoulder an
>email to a woman I met online.
>She writes down the email, and
>last week the night I leave to
>travel to the island again,
>she has her SISTER in another
>city email this girl and ask
>if she has been talking with
>me/seeing me, and including a
>picture of our little girl.
>Well the shit hit the fan with
>both her sister and my LTR
>blasting me with very verbally
>abusive emails.
Ahahaha. You did VERY WELL in giving her back with more social proof for you.
REMEMBER THIS: WHEN ONE WOMAN IS NOT ABLE TO BETAISE THE ALPHA MALE ONE OF THE
THINGS SHE WILL DO IS TO ASK FOR THE HELP OF ALL THE OTHER WOMEN, SOCIETY AND
GOD TO ACHIEVE THE SAME PURPOSE.
And here you get her and her sister on you..
>Calmly I responded that this
>was the situation, that it was
>not without cause. (I should
>not have been justifying
>myself but her sister
>attacking me for being
>"someone I thought I knew but
>I don't, a fake", caught me
>off guard.) I also said that I
>insist on having complete
>access to my daughter and that
>I was keeping notes of her
>accusations. I think saying
>that last part may have been a
>mistake.
The mistake is that your life is becoming unpleasant because of these fights.
You have in your hands a "liberated woman" who is almost probably LSE (low
self-esteem) who is now trying to change you into the "nice" Canadian husband
who does everything she wants, even give her the permission of fucking her
boyfriends on the matrimonial bed.
YOU DO VERY WELL IN GIVING IT BACK TO HER but if this mess continues I think it
would be very healthy from you to dump her.
>Well the past few days my now
>ex-LTR has been sending me
>sweet emails about the baby,
>alternating with "call me when
>you're not too busy getting
>drunk with your friends".
>Comments?
What a bitch. Another frame which is meant to make you feel guilty. Keep her on
her toes and don´t let her put you in the role of the guilty one.
She will blast if you succeed in reframing her attempts of making you feel
guilty and will do something stupid.
Doesn´t look good, sorry.
Franco
http://www.franco-seduction.com
Online Seduction School for Single Men, Husbands & Players
"Sarge Est Necesse, Vivere Necesse Non Est " Gnaeus Pompeius, revised
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