mASF post by "Chaco"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, August 8, 2004This is something I posted on the DC lair site. A number of guys still seem to
stall out quickly due to a lack to things to say. So I wrote this to explain
the importance of having routines. I don't pretend this is new break through
stuff, just something that might be helpful for new guys or guys with this
sticking point.
Hey guys...as I have been sarging with more liar guys lately, I have been
seeing some patterns and occasionally I am inspired to post on things I see.
First a disclaimer, my game is only so-so. I don't consider myself "good" yet.
But I can do some basic things solidly.
One of those things that I seem to do pretty well is to open and get past the
social hook point. So based on my personal sarging experience and observations
of other, there is a point I want to make: guys, you must have routines. Let me
repeat, you MUST have routines. It's not an option, it's a requirment.
This is not a new observation. I have read the same from Toecutter, Juggler and
TD. But here is my 2c.
First, what is a "routine"? A routine does not have to be some high energy
canned story that TD invented and that you memorize, which some people assume
when the term is used. A routine as I define it is simply a story you tell over
and over from set to set because you know it consistently helps the sarge. It
can be a routine that gets
a good laugh 90% of the time you use it. It can be a routine you know will hook
the interest of the girls and get them talking. It can be a fun game to play
keeps things interesting. It can be a story or personality test that builds
some rapport or connection.
And yes, it can be a story that "pumps buying temp."
Whatever it is, you use it because it has a good effect on the sarge based on
its having proven itself over and over in real live sets. You must have these,
and you must have lots of them.
Why are these necessary? As many others have pointed out, though I first read
this from Juggler, the beginning of a sarge, before you are past the social
hook point, the girl is not yet invested in you staying. So she will not
contribute much energy to the interaction. Her "default" is to go back to her
friends, or their default is to resume talking to each other. You can expect to
do
80% of the talking.
TD's obersvation that girls are stimulus jukies at night is very true. Girls in
bars/clubs have many other fun options besides talking to you. They can talk to
their gal pals, they can talk to other guys, they can dance, they can get
drinks, plenty of fun to be had. So WHY YOU? This is where a routine comes in:
it's a field tested story that hooks her interest.
It kind of amazes me, to be honest, how many guys still say a sarge died after
a few minutes because they ran out of things to say. How many months will guys
sarge getting blown out set after set in under 5 minutes before they recognize
they MUST have things to say? You
MUST memorize them and use them over and over once you find some that work. She
isn't going to take the convo over from the start unless you come off very cool
or are very good looking (or both). You can't sit there and make it up on the
spot. She will walk away or turn back to her friends as soon as you stall.
You've seen it over and over, haven't you?
Moreover, even past the social hook point, you still need routines. You need
stories that not only keep the interaction interesting and moving forward, you
need stories that reveal things about yourself you want her to know.
After all, why should she like you? What is cool about you? Do you know the
answer to this? Do you know what you have to offer a hot woman who has her pick
of men? If you don't, you need to think about it. And if you do, you need to
let her know these things without bragging and qualifying youself to her
lamely. You need
stories about the aspects of your personality that you want to reveal.
For example, I tell some stories about living in a gay area and how I get
mistaken for being gay. The stories are funny and usually get laughs. I tell
these in 99% of the sets I run, I swear my wings must be sick of them. BUT they
work so consistently I can't drop them.
Those stories alone are funny and they imply I have a sense of style perhaps
and live in an atractive cool area (and maybe imply I have some money because I
can afford to live there, but I downplay what I make)...but a KEY to them is
that at the end I throw in the following:
Chaco: you know, I have decided its a compliment when people think I am gay.
After all, when people see some fat slob with tacky clothes, nobody ever says
"he looks gay."
HBs: haha that's true!
Chaco: yeah, when it's a slender, good looking, well dressed guy, then people
start saying "oh he must be gay!" So if people say I look gay, that's cool with
me.
In additon to being funny (not side-splitting, just amusing), that routine
conveys that I am comfortable with my sexuality, which is an attractive
quality. Only a real man would dare say he likes it when people think he is
gay. Don't believe me? Ask your female friends.
DON'T STEAL THAT. If I hear some guy use that in set I am gonna be pissed. That
is not a canned routine, that's my life. That is to show you how I take
something as mundane as where I live and make it into some stories that are
funny and that reveal something about me.
I also love to drop a story of how I used to date a bisexual girl and we would
go to lesbian clubs together (100% true story). I then may tease the girls by
offering to bring them there, and when they refuse, tease them more for being
uptight and needing to "explore
their wild side." Why do I tell girls this? It shows I not only can get girls,
but it implies I am sexually adventurous and open-minded, key qualities if you
want girls to open up to you sexually. Plus the teasing is funny and keeps
things fun and light and flirty.
I have a story or two about growing up in New York City. I have some "Jewish
routines" I whip out when I run into Jewish girls because I am half-Jewish and
these, in addition to being funny, create a sense of connection with them. I
have the 1223 Cocain
story to show I hang out at cool clubs and its funny. I have a new routine
about yoga class because I take yoga seriously. I have a routine about how a
female friend tried to set me up on a date and it was a distaster (it conveys I
am selective, I dont run this much
but should do it more). I have an "advice routine" that I will sometimes run
after getting their female opinion that tells a funny story about how people
come to me for advice a lot but then never take it. I have others than I am
forgetting.
I also have some DHV stuff, face reading a Zen Master taught me, palm reading I
recently taught myself, plus the 3-question game and the Cube. A more light
heart personality routine is Strawberry Fields and the a Sex in the City
routine where I ask which character they identify with.
So all that together plus what girls start to contribute once you are hooked in
and you have a long set, not to mention ad-libed matrial, TD routines like
marry&divorce, Red Devil PVC, little sister adoption (rarely run these
anymore), mini-cold reads, basic rapport talk, etc...I don't pretend my own
routines are scientificaly calibrated to blast buying temp through the roof
each time, but I feel I am good at getting past the social hook point and
getting better at generating attraction more consistently.
Ok, so maybe you don't live in an off-beat area. Maybe you live in boring
white-trash suburb. Well, do you have other aspects of your life that you want
her to know about? Maybe you have been to amazing places all over the world and
had cool experinces there. Maybe you have some cool hobbies you can talk about.
What do you want her to know about you?
If you can't think of ANYTHING cool about you that you think a girl would find
attractive, then maybe you have some deeper life-style issues you need to
consider, and need to make some other changes.
Lately there has been a lot of talk about vibing. I honestly don't know what
this means. I know you need awesome body language, but you can't sit there
engage in some wordless Vulcan mind-meld with her, you words do matter. You
have to be socially interesting enough to get past social hook points and you
need to be personally
interesting enough to get past attraction hook points (combined with tight body
language subcommunication).
Guys, think about your lives and what cool things have happend to you. Think
about what IS cool about your personality. Think of some stories that can
convey these qualities. Then MEMORIZE them and practice finding ways to
introuce these naturally into a convo and then practice the best ways to
deliver them.
This is part of the game. You can't avoid it. Holding an
interesting a convo is a fundamental social skill that you must master. In
fact, your job as a PUA is tougher. You need to hold an interesting convo with
a hot girl or group of girls who have other social options to enjoy the second
you become boring. The ONLY way to do this is to have lots of interesting
things to say, and to say them in a polished way.
-Chaco
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