mASF post by "Tommy W"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, June 6, 2004On 6/25/04 2:29:00 PM, san***m@at***.com[ ? ] wrote:
>On 6/24/04 10:26:00 AM, IN10SE wrote:
>
>Seeing as IN10SE is a
>former student of mine, I feel a bit
>responsible for what he is purveying
>here.
I don't know if this is true b/c you say this about _everyone_. **I** have
never been your student, so let me give you some unbiased advise/comments.
>Ok? So you guys see, I'm not flaming
>here. I'm seriously troubled by where
>IN10 is going with this because it
>contains some MAJOR flaws in his
>thinking
>about women.
I don't think you know how good this post is. It's very close to on point, but
he just forgot to mention one thing...
>>In the End Game, though most
>>of the time a chick could care
>>less about how you look, how
>>YOU feel... you’ve already
>>past THOSE hook points and all
>>she cares about now is how you
>>make HER feel - and how you
>>can VALIDATE her.
>
>
>I think we need to stop here and
>reconsider this whole idea of validation
>during the "end game".
>
>We shouldn't lose sight of the fact that
>chicks LOVE sex as much as we do. It
>seems in what you are postulating here,
>you are leaving out that she just
>MIGHT really WANT to fuck you because
>you have her hot, she's dripping wet
>and she LOVES to get really well laid.
Here's where it is. IN10SE is talking about hot women that already get plenty
of sex. In this case, if they can have a desirable guy on the SIDE that
validates the shit out of her, she'll usually take it. These are desirable
women.. they already get lots of sex, so in many of these cases a guy who
provides validation is wanted more than another one who offers sex. A big part
to getting these women is to make them work for it A LOT. You can also do this
(make her work for it) through validation.
>I'm not saying that some chicks(some)
>give up sex for validation and don't
>really enjoy the act itself. I'm saying
>that MOST chicks do love sex for the
>sake of it and we ought to
>over-emphasize the "validation" stuff.
The actual act of linking validation to sex is a great concept that you are
overlooking. In fact, you overlooking the power of validation kinda makes me
laugh and scratch my head at the same time.
>In fact, I think many GUYS get into the
>game because THEY are the ones
>seeking validation. The more women they
>get and the hotter and younger, the
>more validated THEY feel.
This is true, but his post is just about HER validation. If you want to read
about US (guys) being validated, then you'll have to join the lounge and check
out The One's post about this... great post!
>>Validation is about her living
>>up to her OWN image of
>>herself.
I love this part, IN10SE. Humans in general are very similar. As guys, we
look in the mirror and try to make ourselves look "cool". We're not going to
look in the mirror and try to make ourselves look dumb. Plus if you ask an AFC
to approach a girl, he'll back down b/c "she's not hot enough" and not b/c "i
have approach anxiety". We all like to think of ourselves as guys who get
every single woman, but in reality we know what we really are. Girls are more
keen about this. Her self image includes her being normal, and in most cases -
her being above normal. A "normal" woman should be given compliments and feel
desired, a "normal" woman should NOT be teased about her personality.
>>And when you
>>disvalidate, it creates the
>>NEED within her to prove you
>>wrong - and this need creates
>>the MOVING TOWARD behavior
>>where she begins to seek
>>approval from you... The frame
>>being that you have higher
>>value... otherwise known as
>>ATTRACTION. When you validate
>>her, it gives her COMFORT –
>>but the key to this stage of
>>the game is that it HAS to be
>>sexual.
>
>Let's not talk about "validation" like
>it's an all or nothing thing in any
>case.
>You can make a woman feel attracted
>without over-doing the validation. Just
>keep a frame of making yourself a
>challenge.
Ross, in a lot of cases, the "challenge" COMES from the
devalidation/disvalidation.
>>Which is why validation must
>>be LINKED TO sex. It must also
>>come as a REWARD for sex.
Yes, this is VERY important. Validation is a type of reward. Devalidation is
a type of punishment. So they're always going to want to go towards the
_validation_ (reward). They want to reach here, and we can use this to our
advantage. The thing that we need to do is to link validation to different
parts of the sarge at different times (with basic Pavlov type conditioning).
IE- when we're at the beginning of the sarge, we link validation to her
'earning it' through qualifying, chasing, etc. But later on, we need to start
linking validation to sex and less validation to things that are AWAY from sex
(which pushes her in the direction that the validation goes).
>>Interesting how that works.
>>Now this is the case in a
>>normal healthy chick, but in
>>those that have been abused
>>etc., strangely sex has
>>ALREADY been linked to
>>DISvalidation – and this
>>creates a mechanism which
>>keeps them seeking validation
>>through sex, which really only
>>exists in their fantasies
>>because although when they get
>>the validation they don’t want
>>it (because sex is bad in
>>their minds at an unconscious
>>level) , and when they DO get
>>the disvalidation, they want
>>it more. Sad but true. (For
>>example, S + M, being treated
>>like a slut in bed, etc.) But
>>this post is about the
>>opposite case.
>
>This seems pretty convoluted for someone
>who normally writes quite clearly,
>IN10SE.
You should read that again. It's spot on. If you disagree, then you might
want to write out _why_.
>>4) AFTER sex comes the
>>emotional validation. The
>>physical validation must be
>>DURING sex, (and not too much
>>before, otherwise you risk
>>losing the sexual TENSION that
>>comes from the DISvalidation
>>during attract phase. This is
>>why I don’t give women typical
>>compliments and only
>>compliment them on things that
>>they think are Unattractive
>>about them. For example, if I
>>know a woman is insecure about
>>her stomach, I’ll touch it
>>often and comment on how I
>>like it. If we take pictures,
>>I’ll keep the ones that she
>>wants me to delete. So after
>>sex, you can validate her
>>emotionally by holding her,
>>caressing her hair while you
>>hold her, talking softly to
>>her… etc. If you do this too
>>much BEFORE sex, you risk
>>losing more TENSION. After
>>all, if a chick can feel
>>totally emotionally connected
>>to you without having sex, do
>>you think she’ll avoid sex.
>>Yes. Because remember for a
>>woman, having sex gives away
>>her power. How many guys do
>>you think she’s been with that
>>she’s had no power over after
>>the sex? That’s just how it
>>works.
>
>Hang on. Sex itself can be emotionally
>validating. If you view it as just
>bodies
>producing friction..well..ok. But the
>way you touch and taste and explore a
>woman can DEEPLY validate her, without
>even saying a word.
Here's a few scenarios: you're having sex with her and doing sensual EC; you're
having sex with her and making a disgusted face while you are doing it; you
rape her. The last 2 are connecting negative feelings to sex. The first is
connecting positive feelings to sex. If you shocked a monkey whenever he
started having sex, he would stop doing it. HAHA, i like that example. He'd
probably have blue balls as well, LOL.
Anyways, that's just a few comments, hope this helped you out,
-Tommy
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