mASF post by "san***m@at***.com[ ? ]"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, June 6, 2004On 6/24/04 10:26:00 AM, IN10SE wrote:
I'm busy working on about 4 different project, but when I read about this
thread on another site, I felt compelled to jump in here. Seeing as IN10SE is a
former student of mine, I feel a bit responsible for what he is purveying here.
First, the agreement part: it is VERY possible to turn an otherwise interested
woman OFF by giving her too much validation, too fast. It IS smart to avoid
this.
One good way is by making a list of your typical "buying signals" and typical
"strokes" that you tend to give women, and experimentally subtract a few out
to see what causes her to move toward you more strongly.
Ok? So you guys see, I'm not flaming here. I'm seriously troubled by where
IN10 is going with this because it contains some MAJOR flaws in his thinking
about women. I'm going to point out exactly where, so please, any flamers,
make sure to address these points after or before you attack me personally.
>Hey guys,
>
>
>
>Its interesting though how a
>chicks moods will control her
>and the way she thinks...
>essentially the way she see's
>the world, which is why going
>for FEELINGS is so important.
So far, no disagreement. This is all true.
>
>In the End Game, though most
>of the time a chick could care
>less about how you look, how
>YOU feel... you’ve already
>past THOSE hook points and all
>she cares about now is how you
>make HER feel - and how you
>can VALIDATE her.
I think we need to stop here and reconsider this whole idea of validation
during the "end game".
We shouldn't lose sight of the fact that chicks LOVE sex as much as we do. It
seems in what you are postulating here, you are leaving out that she just
MIGHT really WANT to fuck you because you have her hot, she's dripping wet
and she LOVES to get really well laid.
How about she wants to fuck NOT primarily because it validates her
attractiveness, but because she's dripping hot, you've awakened the parts of
her she normally would have to supress, and she can't wait to feel your cock
in her?
I'm not saying that some chicks(some) give up sex for validation and don't
really enjoy the act itself. I'm saying that MOST chicks do love sex for the
sake of it and we ought to over-emphasize the "validation" stuff.
In fact, I think many GUYS get into the game because THEY are the ones
seeking validation. The more women they get and the hotter and younger, the
more validated THEY feel.
>
>If she can get validation
>without the sex, will she? Of
>course. Giving up the sex to a
>chick is like giving up her
>power. Why would she want to
>do that? Sure, there's a
>pleasure component, but that's
>secondary thanks to
>sociocultural programming.
She's also GETTING sex. She WANTS to get laid because it feels good, once
you can disarm her Female Interruption Mechanism, Auto-pilot, last minute
resistances, etc.
>
>Validation is about her living
>up to her OWN image of
>herself. And when you
>disvalidate, it creates the
>NEED within her to prove you
>wrong - and this need creates
>the MOVING TOWARD behavior
>where she begins to seek
>approval from you... The frame
>being that you have higher
>value... otherwise known as
>ATTRACTION. When you validate
>her, it gives her COMFORT –
>but the key to this stage of
>the game is that it HAS to be
>sexual.
Let's not talk about "validation" like it's an all or nothing thing in any
case.
You can make a woman feel attracted without over-doing the validation. Just
keep a frame of making yourself a challenge.
>
>Which is why validation must
>be LINKED TO sex. It must also
>come as a REWARD for sex.
>Interesting how that works.
>Now this is the case in a
>normal healthy chick, but in
>those that have been abused
>etc., strangely sex has
>ALREADY been linked to
>DISvalidation – and this
>creates a mechanism which
>keeps them seeking validation
>through sex, which really only
>exists in their fantasies
>because although when they get
>the validation they don’t want
>it (because sex is bad in
>their minds at an unconscious
>level) , and when they DO get
>the disvalidation, they want
>it more. Sad but true. (For
>example, S + M, being treated
>like a slut in bed, etc.) But
>this post is about the
>opposite case.
This seems pretty convoluted for someone who normally writes quite clearly,
IN10SE.
>
>Now, back to normal chicks.
>Value and attraction get you
>in the door. Disvalidate to
>keep up the tension, and add
>just a little bit of
>comfort/connection and elicit
>the feelings leading to
>seduction (END GAME) - link
>the sexual phase (END GAME)
>with validation, and you'll
>get laid.
>So ways that I’ve linked
>validation to sex? I have
>several chicks recently that
>I’ve been testing this on and
>it has worked like a charm.
>Remember, validation is about
>a woman living up to her OWN
>self image. Here’s some of the
>things I do and have done in
>the past:
First, I think you mean INVALIDATE. There's no such word as "disvalidate".
And if you really want to keep it simple, the best way to create this "tension"
is to simply withdraw a little bit. Withdraw energetically, withdraw with your
body language, withdraw your attention and time. It's not something that
complicated.
My real concern here is that we not build an image of women that says they
do NOT enjoy sex for the sake of sex. Too many women already buy into that
nonsense and so insist on "relationships" "romance" "monogamy" etc when, in
reality, what they really want and need is a good, hot fucking.
Awakening a woman to her NATURAL desires and showing her how she can
more deeply satisfy and enjoy them than ever before is a FAR, FAR better way
to keep her coming back for more than by playing on her worst fears and
insecurities in a constant(constant) game of "keep her off balance".
When you satisfy a woman this deeply, you don't have to do much to keep
her in line. Simply WITHDRAW THE GOOD STUFF YOU HAVE BEEN GIVING HER.
With the ones worth keeping, that's usually more than enough.
>
>
>>
>4) AFTER sex comes the
>emotional validation. The
>physical validation must be
>DURING sex, (and not too much
>before, otherwise you risk
>losing the sexual TENSION that
>comes from the DISvalidation
>during attract phase. This is
>why I don’t give women typical
>compliments and only
>compliment them on things that
>they think are Unattractive
>about them. For example, if I
>know a woman is insecure about
>her stomach, I’ll touch it
>often and comment on how I
>like it. If we take pictures,
>I’ll keep the ones that she
>wants me to delete. So after
>sex, you can validate her
>emotionally by holding her,
>caressing her hair while you
>hold her, talking softly to
>her… etc. If you do this too
>much BEFORE sex, you risk
>losing more TENSION. After
>all, if a chick can feel
>totally emotionally connected
>to you without having sex, do
>you think she’ll avoid sex.
>Yes. Because remember for a
>woman, having sex gives away
>her power. How many guys do
>you think she’s been with that
>she’s had no power over after
>the sex? That’s just how it
>works.
Hang on. Sex itself can be emotionally validating. If you view it as just
bodies
producing friction..well..ok. But the way you touch and taste and explore a
woman can DEEPLY validate her, without even saying a word. This is
something that properly ought to be going on the entire time, (at least pretty
much) contrasted with brutal fucking. I am concerned about your view of sex
as being ONLY a physical act without emotional component, but again, I could
be misreading it.
>
>5) With some chicks, you can
>give her emotional validation
>DURING sex, by being slow and
>sensual with massive eye
>contact. Test it out. Some
>chicks need this during sex.
Ok. There you go. Now you are addressing it. Try combining slow, gentle
touching with BRUTAL FUCKING. Try gentle fucking combined with BRUTAL
touching. The contrast can drive some of them crazy.
>
>
>7) Even after sex, as the
>relationship continues – make
>her seek the emotional
>connection through sex. Don’t
>give too much of it away for
>free by telling her that you
>love her (and if so, use it
>once for every ten times she
>tells you), or by giving her
>complete ASSURANCE that she’s
>the one for you. She may ask
>you, “Do you see us together
>in the future?” etc. and you
>should answer, “I’d like to…”
>Never give definite future
>possibilities.
I'm 100 percent in favor of that last bit, provided it's the truth. If you
really
don't or can't see a future and you KNOW she is getting deeply hooked, it's
best to be honest with her. Costs you some pussy but lets you sleep at night.
And if you are REALLY giving her great sex, she might still hang around as
she's not likely getting it anywhere else anyway.
Ok. Flame away, Ross haters. ***I*** made no personal attacks, used no
name calling or insults. Smart guys, please address my points.
>
>Well that’s just a few ways.
>
>Comments, Questions?
>
>IN10SE
>www.social-mastery.com
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