mASF post by "Dimitri"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, June 6, 2004On 6/9/04 4:08:00 PM, sanik wrote:
>Heya guys, I'm at the stage
>were I have done enough
>approaches to to feel
>comfortable with approaching
>girls and guys and anyone who
>I feel like talking to.
Good. Great. Most people never even get that far - don't underrate this; you're
a lot further along than you might be giving yourself credit for.
>But this is my problem I feel
>that I start being Cocky and
>Funny at first and I am really
>funny but I CANT STOP the
>cocky and funny and the CnF tu
>rns into almost insults and
>the girls get pissed off or
>they think im fucking full of
>myself and the ywalk away or
>whatever.
Eyyup. Been there, done that.
My take on the matter is that cocky/funny can seem forced and unnatural if
taken to the extreme without anything else. See, pretty much nobody in real
life uses cocky&funny machine-gun style c&f/c&f/c&f/c&f/c&f/c&f. Now that you
can open and get girls interested a bit, you might think about trying to find
ways to integrate your personality and *standards* in: After you feel she's at
the "hook point" where she'll stay (this skill will come with time: IN10SE has
posted some really good stuff on hook points recently, if you're interested)
then you can start *screening* her. I don't mean that fake "Are you rich?"
stuff: I mean, find out if she's a decent person worthy of your time.
Anyway, the final word on the matter is that if you stay in-field long enough,
it *will* come. For now, work on integrating non-C&F into the C&F.
>My next problem is my Vocal
>Projection I start speaking in
>a nice slow deep voice at
>first but then I start getting
>excited and I start speaking
>fast and in a higher hyper
>tone of voice and it's very
>difficult to control, a matter
>of fact both of these things
>are very difficult control.
Before I go any further, I'd like to mention a concept I picked up when I
started studying the art of gambling:
When you're trying to learn new gambling techniques, focus on *one* at a time
at the table.
What's that mean? You let yourself run on autopilot after you understand the
basics of the game, while focusing strongly on one thing you want to improve...
one of the big problems with mASF is information overload: If you're trying to
add 20 different things from 10 different people, it's going to be hard to do
any one well. Instead, I'd recommend focusing on one at a time until you feel
more competent in that skill, and just letting the others go on autopilot.
Anywho, as for vocal projection, I'd say, again, don't sweat it too much. When
the time comes that you want to work on it, though, work on it exclusively and
let the rest of you run on autopilot. You'll lose a girl or two before you get
into the swing of it whenever you switch focus to a new area, but then things
will pick up.
Just make sure to stay calm, keep relaxed bodylanguage and attitude, and the
tonality will come. If you find yourself getting a little hyper, realize it's
okay and you can immediately correct it: Then finish what thread you're on, get
her talking for a moment, and calm yourself down. No problem.
>I used to have a number
>closing problem but I am
>working on that fine by
>myself, but I do also have a
>problem that I don't know when
>I have enough RAPPORT to
>number close.
Numbers are just a means to an end, comrade. I'd say don't go for a number
until *everything* else is extinguished: Try to venue-change her, extract her,
fuck her, or whatever. If all else fails due to logistics or bad luck, take her
number.
See, it's not an exercise in getting in and out as quickly as possible. Sarge
girls that actually catch your eye, that you actually want to fuck. Then, don't
take the number until there's no other options. THAT is when you number close:
When there's *NO* other options.
>OH YEAH, this is my main
>problem from the first
>question I SUCK at building
>rapport because all I am doing
>is being funny and nothing
>else, like they don't feel a
>sexual connection with me,
>it's just like "OH MY GOD THIS
>DUDE IS HILARIOUS"
Right. I was in a similar situation not all that long ago, my man.
Again, this is where you need to bring the energy you're bringing down a couple
notches and start integrating other parts of yourself. Screening a woman is
*very* important. Neo-Rio has posted a lot of really good stuff about this, adn
I'd suggest you look his stuff up.
Other than that, actually get to know her. Don't think of it as "building
rapport, a necessary step before fucking". Think of it as getting to know a
girl to see if she's cool enough to hang out with you and see if you two could
vibe together.
>I'd like some hardcore
>feedback on this, so if your
>going to reply with a very
>vague post please don't reply.
>
>- Sanik
>
>Visit Saniks Official WebSite
>at...
>Http://fybb.eluid.org
Sounds to me like you're really in-field, Sanik, because all of this sounds
familiar of my experiences in game. Stick with it and it'll sort itself out.
G'luck.
Grandmaster Dimitri, Swash-Buckling Pick-Up Artist-
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