mASF post by "TylerDurden"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, January 1, 2003I'm getting ready to board my flight from Chicago back to Toronto, and scope
the gate to see if any HBs are sitting waiting.
I spot this 5'10 blonde HB10 sitting down in front of the television. I roll
up, and sit across from her.. She is listening to her discman, and won't
acknowlege me.
Mystery keeps telling me A 10 HAS TO CHOOSE YOU, YOU CANNOT SEDUCE A 10.. he
says this non-stop, so I figure I've got to let off. So instead of persisting,
I chat up the lady next to me. I tell the story of how I PU'ed the Playboy
Dahm Triplets, and get her cracking up. The model can't tell what I'm talking
about on account of her discman. The point is to social proof myself in front
of her anyway, which apparently wasn't going to be enough to chat the model
before we board the plane.
The plane boards, and I'm incredibly disappointed that I couldn't do anything
to sarge this model. I felt really let down.
As I'm getting on to the plane, I notice that the model is sitting near the row
that I'm supposed to be in.. could she be sitting beside me? could she
be?!?!?! HOLY SHIT, I'M RIGHT BESIDE HER.. SWEEEET.. One whole HOUR to game up
this hottie..
I try to chat her, but she is ICE COLD. She is sleeping, while listening to
her discman, curled up facing away from me.
FIRST TRY:
ME: hey, wake up, the plane is taking off.. WTF??
HER: hah, yeah, I fly all the time..
ME: WTF? gimme your window seat then..
HER: no I like it..
ME: what do you do where you fly all the time (now this is a RED LIGHT
VIOLATION of my NUMBER ONE RULE *never* ask a girl questions about herself
BEFORE she asks you, BUT, I am POSITIVE that she is a supermodel, so I'm
setting up the neg)
HER: I'm a model..
ME: like what, a handmodel..
HER: (pauses, gauges her shock, tries to keep a straight face).. umm.... no...
hahahahahha.. I'm an everything else model.
ME: nice.. (start to talk)
HER: (puts back on her headphones before I can say anything, but still is
smiling)
Alright, now all that I'm thinking is, "fuck this totally sucks.. I thought
that my game was so on lately, but I can't even sarge supermodels after hanging
out with Mystery for this long.. I'm so fucking lame, I'll never learn to sarge
supermodels.. these chicks just want goodlooking guys sophisticated guys, and I
can tell that she's not one of those obnoxious chicks who likes my C&F.. she
thinks I'm fucking lame-ass, and I'll never get these chicks cause they KNOW
that they can get better looking guys.. how am I supposed to sarge these chicks
if they won't even acknowledge me in the first place.. obviously my looks just
aren't there, cause this chick just thinks I'm so lame.."
So I figure I'm srewed, and I'm really feeling let down. My big chance, and I
choke. STILL, I hear Mystery's voice in my head "A 10 HAS TO CHOOSE YOU, YOU
CANNOT SEDUCE A 10" (this in reference to celeb types, not down-to-earth 10s)..
So I want to keep trying, but I know it'll come off needy.
Next the stewardness comes over and asks if we want to get some complimentary
drinks. Cosmo-dork is sleeping, so here's how it goes from there:
ME: SMACK (hit her pretty HARD on the arm, so she wakes up).. wake up
dorkhead.. the beverages are here..
HER: hahaha..
ME: WTF is this shit?? what are you on japanese time or some shit??
HER: yeah, I'm sooo tired..
ME: well it sure doesn't make you very good company for a flight you know!
HER: hahahahaha..
HER: (wakes up totally now).. OMG I'm sooo sorry.. I'm awake I'm awake..
ME: oh wait, a model.. you can't eat.. do you want me to grab some CHARCOAL
PILLS for you??
HER: hahaha.. no I can eat..
ME: alright, that's all good.. I'll even get out of your way so you can purge
after..
HER: hahahhaha.. no no no, I don't *do* that!
ME: hmm.. I dunno if I can hang with you now.. what do you have going for you??
HER: hahahhaah.. I dunno, what do you mean??
ME: well, are you adventurous?
HER: yeah, totally.. I do so many things in Milan and Japan etc etc (QUALIFYING
herselt to me)
ME: hmmm.. OK.. actually, you're a model.. SWEET, you must be rich.. look at
how run down I am.. fuck this shit, I want to be a stay-at-home husband, and
you can support me..
HER: hahah I'm not *that* rich..
ME: fuck that.. well actually, wait, do you have a big screen TV?? we're broken
up..
HER: yeah TOTALLY..
ME: nice.. I can keep up on my soaps..
HER: yeah totally.. I'm ALL ABOUT 'Days of our Lives'
ME: you really watch that?? hahahah, I was *kidding*.. don't tell me, you watch
"PASSIONS????"
HER: no no no, I don't watch that one..
ME: man you guys are funny shit.. alright that's all good.. yo check this out,
I just got back from SD (san diego).. that was SWEET.. what was Japan like?
HER: pretty nice actually..
ME: yeah I bet all the jap guys like you.... "ooooooooooh, white geewwwllllll"
(japanese accent imitation)
HER: hahaha.. I dunno..
ME: me, yeah, I could see that..
HER: hey!
ME: ha! you are FIESTY! you are a BAD GIRL..
HER: hahaha.. what did you do in SD??
ME: hanging with the crew.. all that..
HER: who??
ME: my bros work with Hugh Hefner and all that.. whatever, it was all right.. I
met alot of celebs and shit..
HER: WHO????
ME: who DIDN'T I meet? hey have you heard of the DAHM TRIPLETS?
HER: yeah!
ME: (I proceed to recount the PU of the Dahm Triplets, and crack her up.. I
tell it in DETAIL, from how I sucked them out and ALL the lines.. this WORKS
HER UP BIGTIME.)
Then I proceed to talk about why they aren't good enough for me, and describe
IN DETAIL what kind of expectations I have from girls, and all that.. I talk
about possibly fucking them, but how I didn't feel like it.. but make it CLEAR
that I like fucking girls.
ME: yeah I dunno about models anymore.. you've gotta have the MODEL BOYFRIEND
PROFILE.. you know, you've gotta be their daddy's and shit.. you know, they say
they aren't beautiful, and its like "I know.. but stick with me and I won't
judge you for it.. you'll be alright.."
HER: yeah totally.. everyone does stuff for us.. they're like our DADDYS..
ME: yeah totally.. I have an Asian girl now I'm seeing in T.O., but actually I
don't mind her so much, cause we can't understand eachother..
I proceed to DESCRIBE IN DETAIL the Queens Street date, where we go try on sexy
clothes and go on Speakers Corners.. She is totally getting excited..
HER: asshole! hahahahha OMG asshole!!
ME: yeah I'm a total asshole.. why do you like that so much??
HER: hahaha... I dunno..
ME: she's the PERFECT GIRL for me.. she can't TALK.. SWEEEET.. actually I
*really DO* like her..
HER: really?
ME: well, not enough to stop seeing other girls and all that.. but she's
alright.. she's cool. (conveys I'm alpha, makes her think she has a chance.. I
dunno if it comes through over the internet, but she was CLEARLY testing me to
see if I was beta here, and I PASSED by saying I fuck many chicks right to her
face)
HER: hahaha.. MEN!
ME: YEP! The PERFECT GIRL FOR ME..
HER: hahah.. well at least you'll have somewhere to hang out in Korea when you
want to visit..
ME: nice! thanks for the suggestion.. hey wait a sec.. I dunno, it'll be kinda
awkward.. like you know, is this still ON or not?? the best way would be to
pawn her off as JUST FRIENDS right before she leaves.. but then still HANG OUT
with her.. AWESOME.. she'll HAVE to have me down there, and I can meet her
model friends! NICE!
HER: hahahah... OMG MEN!
ME: yeah, its great huh? :)
Then I talk all about my lifestyle, habits, what leads to success, why she'll
need to stick with ME if she wants to do well in life.. I talk ALL ABOUT my
successful lifestyle, so it contrasts how LAME her lifestyle is.. I talk about
how I'm in Queens..
HER: yeah I have a friend there..
ME: yeah she probably doesn't talk to you anymore right? we develop total snob
shields after we've been there a while (REVERSING THE SHIELD, WHICH I KNOW
SHE'LL RESPOND TO BECAUSE SHE'S UNEDUCATED.. NIIIIICE)
So now the plane disboards.. She makes EXTREME efforts to stick near me, all
that shit..
BUT THEN: she goes in the DIFFERENT CUSTOM LINE than me.. I'm thinking WHAT THE
FUCK IS THIS SHIT?? FUCK I *KNEW* I'd never close a supermodel.. I'm fucking
bullshit, I'm a toal fucking fakeass PUA.. I can't sarge these chicks beyond
attraction.. I'll never get this shit.. I was seriously feeling let down..
I think "FUCK, I should go into her line.. fuck I should just do it..", but in
the back of my mind, I keep hearing Mystery's voice "YOU CANNOT SEDUCE A 10..
SHE *HAS* TO CHOOSE *YOU*".. This keeps repeating again and again, and I'm
suspecting its a shit test now.. I decide that I must COMMIT to NOT approaching
her, but in my mind I KNOW that most chicks won't go to the extent to CHANGE
LINES to join you, even if they WANT TO.. So I'm really let down, and think I'm
fucked.
I feel a tap on my shoulder..
HER: hey.. I decided that your lineup looks more fun.. so I'm hanging with
YOU..
ME: hahaha.. hmm, I dunno about this.. I'm not defending you from all these
American lunatics..
HER: hahah.. I always get what I want..
ME: hahah OK tiger take it easy.. maybe not *always* (touching her face.. this
is PUSH PULL)
HER: I should add you to my IM..
ME: hmm.. I dunno about this shit.. I told you I dunno about models..
HER: ha.. JERK!! JERK!! JERK!!
ME: hahaha.. yeah I'm a jerk.. (moving closer)
HER: yeah JERK! (moving closer)
ME: yeah I'm a JERK (moving closer)
HER: jerk (closer)
ME: jerk (closer)
HER: jerk (really closer)
ME: jerk (KISS CLOSE TONGUE DOWN RIGHT IN THE FUCKING LINEUP)
Nice.. I KNEW that I was *IN* as soon as she pulled out the Cosmo Magazine to
show me her pictures, and brag about how many girls in the magazine she hangs
with and all that..
Too bad she had to leave immediately for another plane (she told me well
before), and all I have to show for it is a new chick on my fucking IM.. FUCK!
Still though, a REAL LEGGY SKINNY FREAK COSMO MODEL.. NICE!
TylerDurden
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