mASF post by "Marque One"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, June 6, 2005Hello again fellas,
I've been in relationships for most of the past 8 months, and recently came
across a weird experience on a date.
Background: As those of you on here who know me know, I am pretty good at the
dating sites and have had a load of success off them in the last 2+ years. I
know many of you don't like internet dating - fair enough, but please restrict
any comments you have to the dilemma. Cheers.
Met HB8Shrink online - it went from first contact to meeting in approximately 7
days, and included a fair amount of phone, SMS and IM contact. We seemed to get
on really well and were generally very enthusiastic about meeting each other.
Evening of meeting:
8pm - Meet up and start having a few drinks in a bar. Conversation is going
very well - eye contact is superb and kino is established early.
9.30pm - Move on to a second bar and things are going peachy still. Our
conversation consists of "futures" - for example, she quizzes me on her
birthday (next year) and says there'll be major shit if I forget it. There are
plenty of other such "futures" lines.
10.00pm - We start to get a lot closer to each other in phsyical proximity. The
IOIs are coming thick and fast, and have been for around 30 mins by now. We end
up snogging for around 10-15 minutes - all seems rosey in the garden.
Conversation is full of generally mutually-appreciative comments.
10.30pm - We move onto another bar - she then says that she likes me but she
didn't feel the "sparks" she felt when she kissed for the first time two other
guys with whom she'd had relationships. I say that was a "refreshingly frank"
comment for a first date - and that I'm not entirely sure how to respond to it,
other than to say I think that it's a questionable strategy to make such a
sweeping judgement on something essentially quite insignificant.
11.15pm - Onto another bar - she insists on holding my hand on the way down,
apologising for her indecision. Into the new bar, I tie my shoelace up and she
grabs my hips and arse. At the bar, she continues heavy kino, pulling me in for
a few snogs. We sit down, and then she goes on with her indecisiveness in
speech.
11.45pm - We then walk back to the taxi rank. She starts to hold my hand again
as we leave the bar. I disconnect my hand from hers, and say that it's not
right to send "mixed messages" and that, if the roles were reversed, she would
find my behaviour unacceptable. She then lands the "I want to see you again,
but I'm not sure as what" and I reply to her that "friendship is not what I am
after or offering."
So, guys, from hero to zero in just under 2 hours.
I have come across and handled so many strange situations before and turned
them to my advantage, but this one, quite frankly, has me stumped.
Is she just a screwed-up bitch? Or did I go for the kclose far too early and
fail to ramp up expectation? Was the mutual backslapping earlier on good or
bad?
I'd appreciate your thoughs.
PS. She contacted me by email a couple of days later with the same offer - to
meet again but not necessarily on a date. I replied by saying that she knows
that friendship is not an option, so therefore I am unwilling to see her again.
Right move, or fucking stupid?
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