mASF post by "Renegade"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005Hey DJ,
Interesting topic. I'm not sure I 100% agree with you on some of your points.
>
> 1) Guys getting stuck 'hiding behind' attraction persona.
>
Interesting choice of words. While it may be that some guys do this, based on
both the San Francisco lair guys, and the clients in Pickup 101» workshops, my
observations are this is just a step in the learning process.
Kind of like a beginner in a martial arts system gets bogged down in
mechanically doing techniques... basically mimicking the instructor who taught
them. At some point with the senior students & instructors helping, they move
beyond this stage and integrate the learnings into the way their body moves.
Their own personality shines through.
Given the right guidance, or enough time to really understand what attraction
is all about, men will move past it into learning how to build rapport.
Interestingly, one of the biggest challenges PU101 has with San Francisco men,
is that they do TOO MUCH rapport. They will try and build deep rapport within
seconds of meeting a woman, and mostly it either wierds them out, or they end
up as 'nice guys'.
The exception is at parties where everyone has been through one of the local
'be authentic' workshops, and then this is normal and expected behavior.
For an outsider these parties can be a bit intense as people will approach you
and 'speak their truth' about you literally after learning your name.
[although I gotta admit it's kinda cool to have a hot woman in a skimpy outfit
come up to you and tell you how hot she thinks you are... and really means it.
(-; ]
>
>2) Approach anxiety is often caused by this artificially >created attraction
persona
>
The pre-supposition here is that an attractive persona is artificial or
artificially created.
What if instead, the attraction persona was created from each man's life?
Instead of using stories and openers found online, that the man was taught how
to be attractive by learning to use his best features?
Then it would simply be the man EXPRESSING his unique attractiveness to
women... a very different concept.
>
> 3) Many guys don’t get the results they want because they >believe if they
don’t rush to bed, they won’t get her. This >is caused by their disbelief in
their own self worth and >discomfort in their own skin.
>
I'm not sure what you mean by the first sentence, but I totally agree that a
person's lack of a positive self image is really at the core of being
successful with women. Hell, it's at the core of being a success at ANYTHING!
I'm a big fan of Psycho-Cybernetics by Maltz & Kennedy and recommend it to many
people with self image issues.
>4) What many guys think of as "Game" seriously retards
> people from both personal growth and normal social skills.
> I work with countless men who can’t have a normal
> conversation and feel the need to cut threads all the
> time, tease at the wrong time, neg the wrong way, and use
> all sorts of weird looking disinterested body language.
I like to think of this as a man who is just beginning to get a grip on what it
means to socially interact with women, but has confused training methods with
the desired end result.
This is easily fixed with some patient guidance from a more experienced wing or
by an instructor.
You are right that guys don't know how to have a normal conversation, and I
also find that in men who have never even been exposed to the game. Work in
information technology for awhile and see how many of those guys can talk
'normal' with a woman (or even other men).
> 5) Many guys come into this community to run away from
> their lives when the irony is if they actually paid
> attention to their lives, they would be much more
> attractive. You can’t hide out for very long in this game.
I don't find that to be true out here on the west coast. Maybe it's because
San Francisco is a hotbed of transformational workshops and seminars.
All the men in the lair here (and the ones I know in Vegas, LA, San Diego, and
Arizona) come to the game to ENHANCE their lives.
Also, the men we have as clients in the our programs are already leading
amazing lives. This is an area they want to get handled, improve on, and to get
into balance with the rest of their life.
Maybe we are just lucky that way, if so then I am grateful as I have met some
amazing men who have gone through the programs here.
>6) Many guys have difficulty connecting with what is the
> truth of both what they want and what they are conveying.
> Connect with what is true for you..once you know that,
> it's much easier to find a path to get what you want.
Yes. Like David Shade says, most men don't know what they want, they only know
what they don't want. And you tend to get that which you focus on the most.
So the key is for men to really understand what it is they want both in a
woman, and of themself.
Cool post DJ, I like it when the members on this board come to the
understanding that it's really about improving yourself and your life. Then
the women will find that you attractive.
If you ever come out to San Francisco, stop by Project San Francisco and say
hello.
Cheers,
Craig
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Action may not always bring happiness
but there is no happiness without action
-- Benjamin Disraeli
www.Pickup101.com» San Francisco, CA
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