mASF post by "Chaco"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, November 11, 2003On 11/22/03 1:32:00 PM, Music_Machine wrote:
Hey man, good detailed report. Here are some thoughts:
I
>figured this was an advantage
>for my first attempt because I
>wouldn't have to introduce
>myself/meet her for the first
>time/etc.
Ok, for a first time this is ok. But this is a skill that you will want to
learn.
>
>I talked to her I asked
>more personal questions and
>asked about her feelings, etc.
>I was shocked at how
>immediately I saw results from
>this! Within two minutes of
>our conversation she started
>to show all the signs
>described in the guide about
>body language and changed the
>way she was talking to me.
Good it sounds like you touched on some topics that has lots of meaning for
her. However, it is imporant to understand a central aspect of getting a girl
to like you - you must display value to her. That is, you must display
qualities that will attract her and make her think that you are some she wants
to know better, and eventually sleep with. Talking about how she feels about
things does not necessarily make you look special. I hope during this time you
were offering your own opinions of things, not just asking her questions.
(There are women out there who value men who can listen to them, but often
these men are made friends, not sex partners).
I asked to see the
>paper to review it and "found"
>the picture on the back. The
>drawing was a picture of
>herself and it was drawn very
>well. When I saw it I acted
>shocked, and after a little
>while looked up at her and
>straight into her eyes as I
>said "This is beautiful." - I
>got an instant reaction of
>shyness/appreciation with a
>smile. I went on to comment
>about how it was a picture of
>her (she denied this) and how
>I could tell because of the
>attention paid to the eyes of
>the picture (while
>complimenting her on her eyes,
>etc).
You are probably supplicating here. At the very least you as kissing her ass.
There are different theories on everything on ASF, but most people say don't
compliment girls. By complimenting her you are raising her value while
diminishing your own. If the picture was great, there is nothing wrong with
complimenting her work, but if it was some little thing then over-doing it may
have looked like you were trying to be nice to her. There was also certainly
no need to compliment her eyes. After all, even though you are rAFC, you want
to give the impression you are a PUA - and a PUA is never overly impressed by a
woman's looks (he has always had better). What does the guide say about being
a nice guy?
>Friday comes and we meet for
>dinner at one of the campus
>dining halls.
Dinner? This could have looked like a date, and the guide says no first
"dates" - only first "get-togethers." However, campus dining hall does not
require you to pay, so this may be no big deal. I think it has no impact on
the eventual outcome, but I wanted to make the point about dinner dates.
We have a nice
>conversation and I'm bringing
>up topics like her drawing and
>how it makes her feel (I get
>the trance word "relax" out of
>this). I even bring up the
>topic of "How is sex different
>in the three countries you've
>lived in?" (she's lived in
>three different countries).
>She was OK with this because
>in the group the topic of
>cultural differences has been
>brought up. Lastly we talk a
>little about music (I
>transitioned into this from
>the "relaxing" talk of her
>drawing). Then I try a little
>patterning talking about how
>some techno music builds up,
>the beats pulsating in and
>out, and then finally it
>explodes and makes you feel
>great. I'm not sure how well
>this worked, but I didn't get
>a negative reaction from it.
I don't think most guys on this board use old school SS now. The lay guide is
way out of date. I suggest reading TylerDurden's archive and getting the
Double Your Dating Advanced Series if you can afford it.
>
> We talk
>about how it is better to be
>free and open with sex than to
>be pent up about it and how
>this causes relationship
>problems. Then she brings up
>a troubling conversation she
>had with her boyfriend the
>other night.
Uh-oh. I was not there, but I wonder if the sex talk made her think she needed
to warn you about the boyfreind? Girls will cheat on boyfreinds, so never let
it be an issue. However, it takes some game to get them to cheat (unless he is
super lame or she is a super party girl), so it does offer a higher level of
difficulty.
I'm thinking
>"Great! She is bringing up
>problems with her boyfriend,
>I'm going to capitalize on
>this big time." Apparently he
>was talking about some things
>like living together or some
>other bullshit.
Um, this does not sound like "problems." Talking about living together sounds
like they are pretty serious. I suspect she is either detecting your sexual
interest and trying to warn you off or she sees you as a good friend who will
listen to her problems.
I tell her
>that she needs to still be
>young and free without those
>kinds of attachments. She's
>into this and I'm getting a
>good sense of
>attraction/connection. I
>bring up art again and ask her
>if she has drawn any more.
>She has. "May I see it?"
>"Sure, but it's in my room."
>"Great, let's go." She seemed
>very excited about this and
>I'm thinking "Sweeeeet, I'm
>in!"
Not so sure based on how you have acted like a good friend up to this point.
Some college girls don't mind bringing freinds back to their rooms. College
students are used to having members of the other sex in their rooms all the
time. It's not quite like having a guy back to her apartment as a professional
woman. You in college, right?
>
>Get into her room and look at
>the art for a little bit. I
>tell her it's beautiful, then
>put my hand on her shoulder
>and say "You're beautiful . .
>. kiss me."
No compliments. You are the stud, she should be lucky to kiss you. And don't
ask girls to kiss you. Men have to take the lead, you kiss her without asking.
I would have escalated slowly here. Sit next to her on the bed, ramp up the
kino and she how she reacts. Then if signs are positive, you confidently go
for the kiss. You were very sudden here, perhaps based on your assumption that
you were in.
This took me back
>because I was feeling pretty
>confident about getting some.
You misjudged her feelings for you.
>I remind her of how she needs
>to feel free and tell her
>about the connection we've
>made tonight.
The connection you made with based on friendship, not sexual attraction. You
complimented her art, you complimented her, you listened to her problems about
her boyfreind and offered advice. You acted like a friend, not a lover. And
certainly not like the kind of player that gets girls to cheat on serious
boyfreinds.
and I leave for
>the night.
>
>Analysis: I think I was doing
>alright up until the point
>where I was in her room.
>Perhaps I should have used one
>of those really seductive
>patterns?
No, this isn't what you need to focus on now. Patterns, if they work at all,
should be some you add later on. Now you need a better foundation for how to
create attraction in a woman, and how to display the kind of value that does
so. (Incredible connection is good when you are in the rapport stage and you
want to start moving toward the seduction phase).
Should I have done
>more to negate her boyfriend
>over coffee?
No, you should have realized it was serious between them. Perhaps you could
have probed for more problems, but I dont think it would have mattered.
Should I have
>just kissed her instead of
>telling her to kiss me?
Yes, but as stated above the attraction was not there.
>Knowing beforehand that she is
>intelligent/dedicated, should
>I have realized that it was
>going to take more than one
>night with her to get
>anywhere?
Probably, but more likely you still need to learn what builds attraction in a
woman.
Or did I just need
>better tactics to cut through
>her ASD?
Nope, the foundation of attraction was not there.
>I would appreciate any
>comments or suggestions.
I hope these comments help. You did great for a first sarge - keep trying
stuff everyday and you'll learn this soon. I wished I had studied this in
college!
-Chaco
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