mASF post by "Riker_AUT" posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005Jade, if you don't want, then I'll go on about this as it's such a simple way
to show the whole seduction concept ;)
Good question, Beatcal. I see Jade has already answered...he, finalD and Franko
have some excellent posts on this in the archives, especially in the "Advanced"
section as this was a hot topic between the four of us, a few months ago.
In general you're right that there is a conflict between rapport and status.
Status, BTW, means attraction, so in general ASF terms we'll call it a conflict
between rapport and attraction - which just so happen to be the two main phases
we commonly recognize in seduction.
For example, if Brad Pitt was walking into a bar and hitting on some chicks,
most would not sleep with him - his insanly high status would prevent chicks
from "getting a connection" with him. The exception are the party girls who do
not require rapport for sex.
Back in the days when this topic was heavily discussed, I think it was Jade who
summed it up nicely as "rapport is about being equal - attraction is about
being different".
On first look this really seems like you'd need to square a circle, but as Jade
has already outlined it can be done - I'll just sum it up in my own words too.
To get rapport or "connection" you need to equalize social value levels
(assuming that you came into her world on a higher value level). The wrong way
to go about this is to reduce your value to fit hers. Brad Pitt wouldn't talk
with a girl about the health problems of her cat, as stuff like that would most
likely be below his social value level.
Reducing your own social value by trying to "get everthing about her" is what
ultimatly destroys your dominance, and you end up as LJBF, as Jade pointed out
already.
The right way to go about this, then, is to equalize social value levels by
pulling her UP to yours. By qualifying her, by showing her your reality and
allowing her to be part of it (while making sure that she knows how quickly she
could be thrown out of that nice place again if she misbehaves).
And now, when you think about it...seems to me this is SEDUCTION at it's
purest.
We know that women are attracted to men with higher social value. But the value
these men have is worthless to the women if they aren't allowed to enjoy a
piece of it - this would basically mean that women look for men of higher value
to improve their own value, which I think holds true for the majority of them,
actually. It's a bit like trying to get into the "cool crowd" at highschool.
They have higher social value (cooler parties, better chicks etc.), but if they
don't let you join them, then you'll just percive them as arrogant assholes.
Only if they let you join their "cool crowd" will you suddenly have a benefit,
and thus likely stick with them.
So, seduction in a short sentence:
You go in with HIGHER value (you offer her something she really wants) and then
you let her have a piece of it. For that she'll become addicted to you.
The reason I'm writing a rather lenghty piece about this here is that I think
this concept is so universal, it should actually relate to and explain MOST of
the things thaught on this website.
****************************************
I'm back, and better than ever.
|