mASF post by "ThatBul"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, May 5, 2004Alright, this is my first post under this handle. Some of you might
know me from chat, or from posting under my old handle. I got rid
of that handle for two reasons: 1) I realized it was too revealing of
my identity and 2) all I posted was a couple token fool's mate lay
reports and keyboard jockeying BS. So anyway, I'm back in
posting mode with better intentions...
The reason I'm posting this is really to collect all the random things
I've been thinking about lately and to lay out my goals for myself
and such. I figured I'd share with you guys, not just for the support
and encouragement, but I feel I have a lot of things to put out there
that a lot of guys need to hear (even if they are coming from an
rAFC KJ who hasn't really sarged yet...)
Yes, that's right, I haven't really sarged yet, and that's largely why
I'm resorting to posting all this. Before you guys start with the
flaming and screaming DSFFW at me, I want to stress that I intend
to get in the field ALL FUCKING DAY tomorrow. Like, I'm gonna go
out around 11 AM and do day-time and then I'm gonna go to a club
or bar at night. PERHAPS I'll take breaks for lunch and dinner.
So why have I decided tomorrow is THE time to start? I guess you
could say I've hit rock bottom. Not that the game really has a rock
bottom, you're either doing well or you're not. What I mean by rock
bottom in this case is I'm pretty much fed up.
Why am I fed up? Perhaps a little background information is in
order. I found Maniac High's Pickup Guide in March 2003, a
month after I made out with my second girl ever, the first in 5 1/2
years in fact (and the first attractive one). Having blown an
opportunity to possibly be with her by being AFC, I really took to
the alpha male, non-needy attitude that both Maniac's site and the
Player Guide laid out for me. This coupled with a better body (from
lots of hard work losing weight the prior year) and the resultant
boost in confidence gave more successes with women, and by
October I had made out with 8 girls total. Yet, still hadn't been past
first.
A turning point came in October, when I took care of all those
bases in one night, losing my virginity at 20 years old. Again,
AFC behavior led me to search for answers, and I joined the mASF
forum. Two more ONS by mid-January 2004 brought me to a total
of 2 lays and 1 BJ. And now, four months later, I'm 21 years old,
and these totals still stand.
So four months without sex...what the hell have I been doing?
Well, fucking up in school, among other negative actions. I never
followed through on my ambitions to get myself a job and to stay
on a diet & exercise program.
But there are some positive things too. The LA PUA Summit was a
high point, as it really shed a new light on the community for me.
Sitting in that mansion listening to guys talking about AMOG
destroyers and stuff was SUCH a headtrip, but a good one. I
suggest anyone who hasn't met anyone from the community yet do
so, as its really good for your mindset. Like, meeting people gave
me a whole different perspective on things.
Anyway, with all of that in mind, this is my rough gameplan for the
rest of the year, in no particular order of importance:
- start taking school seriously. Like, this is so much more
important than women, and I HAVE to start realizing that. Not to
mention PU, and life in general, will be an uphill battle if I don't
have a job that pays well.
- get a job. Just anything at this point. I need money for going out
seven nights a week, like I plan on doing eventually. Also need
money for clothes, shoes, and other non-PU related things.
- sarge. duh.
- make myself more attractive. This consists of:
- diet & exercise to lose fat, gain muscle, and have a more fit,
attractive body
- generally dress cooler, even if not necessarily peacocking
- do some new things, piercings, hairstyles, etc.
(A side note about attractiveness: Making yourself more attractive
is the #1 thing you can do to up your game. No, shut up. Listen to
me. I think too many people here have the wrong idea about the
attraction phase. It's like everyone wants a magic pill opener or
routine or whatever that will make a chick think you are hot. A lot
of people believe that to women, a guy's looks don't matter. This is
partially bullshit. Looks aren't as important to women as they are
to men, but they can still play a major part. Also note that when I
say looks, I mean you're overall image. If you're overweight, but
dress well for it, you will probably be considered good-looking by
many women. Good example of this is Notorious B.I.G., he was
huge but he usually looked pretty good because he had good
style.
I was reading an article from Art of Seduction or something that
was sent to me by another member of the community. The article
(which I'll send to whoever wants it in it's entirety, just e-mail me)
talks about the misconception that looks don't matter at all to
women. Basically, it breaks it down that upon first sight, a women
is either attracted to you, indifferent to being attracted to you, or
averse to being attracted to you. The main point made is that if a
girl is averse to being attracted to you, just about nothing you can
do can turn her around. No opener or routine is going to make her
want to get with you.
So what can you do about this? Do whatever you can to look
better, so that more women will be either attracted to you or
indifferent to the idea of being attracted to you. Let go of the idea
that attraction material is what makes a girl attracted to you. She
already has the potential to be attracted to you (or is outright
attracted) because of your facial looks, facial expressions, body
language, cool clothes, cool peacocking gear, tall hair, whatever.
All the material really does is the rest of the work....that is, it
conveys personality, which is the other element she needs to start
shooting you IOIs and letting you know how she feels.
That's the cool thing about this: outright attraction and the potential
for attraction are pretty much the same thing; outright attraction
only gives you a true edge when dealing with party girls looking for
a ONS. But in either case, a girl will become unattracted to you if
you put her on a pedestal or start boring her. So you use negs, C+
F, routines, and so on NOT to magically make her attracted to you,
but rather to assure her that she was right to feel attracted to you.)
- build an identity. I haven't yet read Mystery's article on this on
Thundercat's Lair, but he talked about it at the Summit. I've come
to the realization that I don't really have this quality. I've decided to
take the one thing I do have a great passion for, music, and to start
expressing that more outwardly.
It's like everyone has their "thing", like Mystery is a magician, etc. I
decided I'm going to make DJing "my thing", which means lots and
lots more practice than I've been putting in to date. Also I want to
have writing as my other "thing", since I enjoy that too and it relates
more to school.
- work on expanding/exploiting my social circle. With a job and
sarging, this shouldn't be too hard. Also, the girl I lost my virginity
to is now part of my social circle again, and I recently made out
with her and delivered a money friends with benefits speech.
Don't really know what to expect there. Call it an experiment in
resisting one-itis-Social circle lays are the easiest, so why not set things up to cut
yourself an easy break every now and then. If you're in the field all
the time, you DESERVE it. So build a social circle if you don't
really have one.
Speaking of social circle lays, one of the things I was thinking
about most recently was the fact that 99% of hookups happen
through social circle. Like, for most people, the idea of laying a girl
through a cold approach is just mind-blowing.
And I thought about how life would've been without ever finding
ASF. Right now, I figure that if I NEVER decided to sarge and
NEVER used any material I learned here, and instead just got
myself into shape, finished up school, and just went about
"ordinary life", I would probably do fine with chicks. Hell, I might
just get into a 3 year relationship with a girl I really like by just
"being myself."
But what I realize is this: When that relationship ended, what
would happen? I'd be depressed. I wouldn't know what to do.
There's a good chance after it ended I would go months without
sex. I'd still be AFC and would have to wait around for the next
social circle-influenced relationship to come my way. Who knows
how long that might take?
THAT is why I'm here guys. I want to have complete control of my
sex life. I want to get to a point where I don't go more than a month
without sex. I want to get to a point where I have sex at least once
a week. I want to get into a 3 year relationship with a girl I really
like and go out sarging the day after it ends. I want to have MLTRs
I see on the weekend and meet new girls on weekdays.
It's like part of this quote about the word impossible: "Impossible is
just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to
live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they
have to change it." That is what playing the game is to me right
now - me exploring the power I have to change my sex life.
So here is the tentative plan. Starting tomorrow, I begin the field
work, and for the next week I start learning and memorizing some
good openers, routines, etc., and simultaneously thinking up my
own material and field-testing it. After one week, I'm imposing an
ASF ban on myself until July 1st, the only exception being a visit to
the chat every Monday night to either let people know I'm still in
field or to let them know that I'm not and need encouragement and
help. Hopefully this won't even happen. As for the forum, its
forbidden after next Monday; if I get laid by 2 10's at the same time
off of cold approach, you won't hear about it until July 1st. I
actually encourage a lot of you guys to do the same exact thing.
I'll talk to you all in July. Peace.
-ThatBul
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