mASF post by "InnerCalm"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, September 9, 2004You just need to relax man, stop focusing on what can go wrong and just go into
it with relaxed confidence.
Think about this; Have you ever thought about the difference in the times your
were relaxed and conversation came easy, and the times when it didn't?
Think about it for minute, then see if you can spot the difference.
I'll bet the one thing that's different in the latter is the fact that you were
focused on what could go wrong, or trying to make up something to say.
The more you focus on things like that, the bigger they become, because you get
what you look for.
I don't mean that if you're looking for something to say you find it, what I'm
talking about is the message you're sending to your subconscious.
When you're standing there in front of a girl thinking "What should I say, I
don't know what to say, find something to talk about, oh shit, dam it you're
blowing it", you're giving your subconscious instructions to do something other
than find something to say, because it interprets the emotion you're
experiencing, not the words you're using to describe it to yourself. And that
emotion is fear.
If you keep doing that long enough it triggers a preconditioned flight response
to fear in your subconscious, once that happens it quits cooperating with you,
and sets of an automatic alarm that's hard to ignore.
My educated guess is, you're not ignoring it, you're bailing out from the
pressure, that's why you keep C&Bing.
Go to the Pickup Guideand read the very first topic "The 3 Second Rule (the
most important rule for pick up artists)".
Trust me on this one, they didn't put that in there for filler.
The 3 second rule is designed to avoid thoughts that trigger your flight
responses, so you go into an approach in more relaxed state.
Now, let me tell you about another rule that's designed to get you back into a
relaxed state after you've ignored the 3 second rule or just stalled.
I call it the 10 minute rule, and works like this; No matter what happens, no
matter how awkward you feel, or how badly you're doing, stay there, stay in the
sarge for at least 10 minutes.
This gives you time to calm down, so that alarm that went off before shuts off,
and you can begin to relax.
This also makes a good impression on her, because it shows her that you had the
balls to stay, even though everything else was telling you to leave, that's
something 99.9% of all the other guys wouldn't do.
That's pure platinum!
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