mASF post by "Dimitri"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, August 8, 2004
Will ridiculously stupid things *please* stop happening to me?
Alright, I haven't gotten any play from a girl for, like, two weeks now. I'm
going to see one of my girlfriends this week, but needless to say, I'm really
horny. Last new shit was back in Austin winging with Merchant.
Alright, the brief version of the story:
Waitress in restaurant. I'm charming. She's cute. I get her number.
Call her. Very, very good conversation. Conversation ends.
Call sometime later. Good conversation. Her extremely into me. Make plans.
She flakes.
Talk to her later, she apologizes and said... I forget what she said. She was
either doing drugs or having sex, though, I surmised. These things don't bother
me so much.
Conversation ends. Sometime later, talk to her again, tell her offhand about
the plans I have for the night. She demands I call her and bring her along. I
say I will, then do not, which pisses her off, but I don't care.
This is dragging. Alright, long story short, we set up one more meet and she
flakes on me again this time.
I don't speak to her for a long time. Eventually lost her number when I was in
Texas (along with some other numbers, but oh well).
That's the backstory.
Tonight:
Go out looking for some fun. It's dead. MA on a Sunday night = not so hot.
Eventually, I remember this little blond waitress with a tongue ring that did
too many drugs. Glorious, I swing by her restaurant.
She's working, pretty damn busy. She walks up to me, says, "I'd be talking to
you if I weren't so busy. These people are crazy, demanding this and that." Me:
"S'up with that?" Her (playfully): "I don't know, it's like they think it's a
restaurant or something."
She gets back to working. I chill for a moment, when I see her next, I give her
the "come hither" motion with my hand.
She does, I put my arm around her and say, "You know what you should do?" She
fires back sarcastically, "Quit?"
I say, "No, you should hook me up with a free ice cream."
She rolls her eyes and walks off. I find a dessert menu and sit back down where
I was sitting.
She comes back to me, I show her which ice cream I want. She asks, "A small?" I
say, "No, large... on principal. I'll probably throw half of it away, but it's
the principal that counts."
She brings me an ice cream. (I wind up throwing half of it away later)
Anyway, place isn't closing until midnight, so I bid her farewell and leave.
When I tell her I'm leaving, she tells me when she's getting off at night every
day for the next week.
Come home, speak to Merchant on the phone for a while about all sorts of cool
stuff. Awesome guy, Merchant.
I decide that since I'm leaving the area very soon and don't have this chick's
number anyway, tonight is my best night for fucking her. I roll up at midnight,
she's sitting outside smoking a cigarette with a loserey AFC guy.
Her (playfully, to me): Look what the cat dragged in...
I come over, touch her, and sit down with her. We talk and it's cool. The AFC
assumes we're good friends and he's a lameass... doesn't try to butt in. So
far, so good.
She says that the dishwasher left early, so she's stuck doing the dishes until
about 1 (It's 12:15 at this point).
She tells the lameass guy that he should help, and he bends over backwards to
accommodate. I tell her I might be back, and roll off to Wendy's for a burger.
Get lost on the way, motherfuckin' place is closed at 12:45. Pisses me off, I
get a couple bananas from a mini-mart place and eat them, then make my way back
to the restaurant.
Get there, walk into the place even though it's closing down. My gal's sitting
across from the AFC, squaring up some numbers on some pad. She finishes, says
she's leaving, says bye to the AFC.
Parking lot:
Me, "So, whose driving, playgirl?"
Her: "I'm tired, I'm going home."
Me: "Shut the fuck up. I'll roll with you."
Her: "Really going home."
Me: "A'ight, we'll go to your place and drink some beers. I'll follow you."
Her (halfheartedly): "No..."
Me: "I'm following you Terminator style. Really."
She laughs and says okay.
Goes to her car. I'm about to follow her. All is well...
...when...
[cue "Jaws" theme, please]
...the AFC guy walks up to her car window!
Fuck damn shit. I'm already in my car. There's no good reason to get out and
walk over to them.
She gets out, comes over to my window. I rev the engine of the shitty little
Dodge I'm in and say, "That's muscle, baby." She laughs, I say I miss my old
riceburner. Another laugh.
All is well. She halfheartedly says I shouldn't come, I tell her to shut up and
drive. She does, I follow her.
Get to her place... but... moments later... headlights behind mine? WTF?
Lameass AFC?!?!?!? WHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT???????????
Long story short, after I said I was going with her, he overheard some of it
and invited himself. She smokes his pot (even hit it first, though it was his
pot and piece. go figure)
I refrain from smoking, being a non-smoker. This is bad. I've never gotten with
a new girl messed up on *anything* if I wasn't at all messed up myself.
They smoke in his car, I sit and chill with them. It's not a bad time... After
they're done smoking, he leaves and I invite myself in to use her bathroom. She
promptly has me leave after that, though.
And no sex. She was in the right state of mind pre-smoking, but not afterwards.
I've never been able to overcome things like this.
So, Pick-Up Artists-who indulge, any thoughts? I've run with drugged out
circles before, so I have no problem hanging... but never been able to connect
with a girl unless she was under the (mis)impression that I was also on
whatever she was.
Grandmaster Dimitri, Swash-Buckling Pick-Up Artist-
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