mASF post by "Señor Fingers"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, September 9, 2004On 9/18/04 5:08:00 PM, Sylvilagus wrote:
>Well, it's just that I think if I had
>slightly more done my best to persuade
>her, I could have made a contact out of
>it. And that the environment (lots of
>people who can possibly hear me, so I
>have to be careful what I say) takes
>too much attention, that I can't
>concentrate enough on the girl.
Problem #1 You care too much what people think.
Solution: Despite your deep sense of shame, rest assured that people really
don't care if you hook up with a girl. Even if you get shot down, they won't
think to themselves "Boy..what a loser!" even if they did, you should know that
you are the fucking winner because at least you had the balls to take a chance!
>I want/need to isolate her, but I don't
>know a real good venue. So, my plan is
>not real good.
Problem #2 You don't believe in yourself.
Solution: The venue does not have to be "good". Stop relying on external
influences. You should be good enough for her to follow you anywhere. Once they
like you, they will jump at any excuse to be with you. When you are with her,
stop thinking about what "venue change" would make her happy. Instead focus on
what YOU really want to do at that moment and invite her along for the ride.
>I just hate it when other people can
>hear/see how I try to seduce that girl.
>And I have a sort of fear to disturb the
>general social dynamic. Especially when
>the girl is trying my persistence.
>Eventually she can begin to shout.
>Something I have experienced in the
>past. It's just a fear to break the
>unwritten laws of society.
That shit has never happened to me. What the hell did you do to get a girl to
yell at you in public?
>I probably come off like this in first
>instance, but I don't think I am. I can
>understand that the girl does not want
>directly to go to bed with me, when she
>is shopping and the shops close in half
>an hour and after that she has to take
>the last bus to her hometown, maybe
>where her friend/husband is waiting. I
>think you have to be damned interesting
>to beat that!
Problem #3 You assume the worst.
You choose to see an excuse not to approach when you should be seeing windows
of opportunity. Stop assuming that every hot babe has a boyfriend. One of the
worst pickup linesthat will guarantee you failure is "Yo baby, you got a man?"
Don't think, dream of, or mention the idea of her boyfriend. If you really need
to make an assumption, then assume she is lonely and has never been fucked
properly!
>Well, I say this wrong. It's more before
>I have approached her I may look to
>other girls. And than when she saw that,
>and I approach her she may think I just
>see her as a number. But I must admit
>that it may come off as sneaky, while I
>prefer the girl doesn't see this. So I
>don't do it too openly.
Your biggest problem of all is that you always make it about HER. What if she
thinks this? What if she doesn't like that? What if she has a boyfriend? These
types of thoughts will only make you doubt yourself and will most surely
guarantee failure.
It sounds to me that you have serious issues not only with women, but with your
self image and overall confidence. Do you exercise regularly? Eat well? Are you
a social person? Remember, it's not just about what you say to her. It's who
you are when you say it. You can either look like a little boy, caught with his
hand in the cookie jar, or you can be the man and say "yeah I want me some
motherfuckin cookies...and what?" There is no shame to game!
On 9/17/04 11:41:24 AM, Vince wrote:
>One of my core values is
>having a harmonious existence:
>a balanced life,
>where I move from one activity
>to another in an effortless
>flow. I also
>require that any woman I get
>involved with have that same
>balance.
We definitely on the same page here.
>During the learning phase of
>becoming seductive, I used a
>total immersion
>approach. That was fine for
>incorporating all the new
>information,
>behaviors and attitudes I was
>lacking. Once I did get the
>"critical mass"
>of what mattered, I found it
>very hard to put aside all
>that stuff and
>concentrate on the rest of my
>life. It took time, but I
>eventually returned
>to a more equilibrated life.
This is so crucial! How long has it taken you to sort it out? One of my biggest
sticking points was the frustration of not having the time to do everything I
wanted. After a while, I realized that time was not the problem, it was just
how I managed it. After writing down all the great things I wanted in my life,
it just started to crystalize everything. I had plans, and they were
prioritized! I bought an agenda book and have been keeping more of a balance
ever since.
>Until I chose to find out what
>my own core values were, I
>could not see how
>to break out of "total sarge
>mode". Once I did elicit my
>own deepest
>values, the rest was easy.
How did you discover your core values? For me it took reaching a breaking point
in my life where I had made myself miserable to the point where I couldn't take
it anymore. I had to take a step back and be painfully objective with myself to
see the big picture.
>Thank you for an inspiring
>post.
>Vince
That's the best compliment I could ever receive.
You are welcome!
On 9/17/04 8:27:00 PM, tolan2 wrote:
>someone needs to give fingers
>a zip archive.
>
>-tolan
Appreciate the support, but I doubt it will happen. I dont have too many posts
here and Formhandle is not my bitch yet. Dont worry though, I am working on
this!
On 9/18/04 4:50:00 AM, Arcane wrote:
>Insightful post man. I gotta
>be honest in saying I didn't
>read through it all though,
>because it brings
>consciousness to the negative
>things that PUA's fall to. I
>don't want to be thinking
>about this stuff, even if I'm
>thinking about it so that I
>can NOT think about it.
I feel ya, but its not like I am wallowing in negativity. Simply seeing both
sides of the coin. There are problems and there are solutions. The problems
won't go away if you simply ignore them..in fact they tend to get worse when
you do this!
>
>You know, it would be totally
>awesome to post the positive
>attitudes, which when
>assimilated would actually
>avoid the pitfalls as well as
>the wariness of the pitfalls.
It's not exactly a rose-tinted post, but there is a lot of positivity here ...
Take the time to read the whole thing (unless you got better things to do)
On 9/18/04 4:58:00 AM, vineswingman wrote:
>last night when I was at a
>concert, I was totally
>enjoying the moment and I
>thought to myself that life
>truly is a gift from Earth and
>I just felt so appreciative to
>have had the opportunity to
>enjoy the moment, and I have
>made it my new goal to just
>appreciate everything for what
>it is.
Glad to hear it Vines! Did you get the lay? ;)
Just be sure you dont fall into the other trap of complacency. Appreciate
everything for what it is, but don't get too comfortable to change things for
the better!
On 9/18/04 5:10:00 AM, AlwaysExcel wrote:
>This is my first post here as
>I've preferred to post on
>sosuave.net. I haven't found
>this post on that forum so let
>me just congratulate you here
>for the courage and humility
>to post what you did. This
>post struck a chord with me as
>most of your posts do.
>However, this post came at the
>right time as I struggle with
>similar issues. Thank you
>Fingers!
Actually, it is on SoSuave, but thanks anyway!
On 9/19/04 5:17:00 AM, Ice wrote:
>hey i thought this was a fuck
>fast forum. validation
>revelation, enlightenment
>what???..... you see a nice
>woman that turns u on u wanna
>do her. whos looking for
>validation..?? im looking for
>pussy coz it feels nice when u
>r banging a nice arse while
>her pair is knocking like a
>ding dong bell.
We all have different motives for being here. My hope was to save some of you
from making the same mistakes I did. If you are totally content banging random
women with whom you share very little connection, then I really cant knock that
because you are doing what genuinely makes you happy.
Personally, I really didn't like who I became when I was a full-on PUA. I am
very glad to have gone through my slut phase though. It was fun while it lasted
and sometimes, you gotta find out what you DON'T want in life in order to do
discover the things that you do.
Thanks for the input yall. Till next time...
FINGZ ------> out
|
