mASF post by "Jestor"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, September 9, 2004On 9/26/04 10:02:00 PM, tmcgee wrote:
>I understand what you're
>saying, and agree with you. I
>suspect that the masf process
>is something akin to martial
>arts: a process of learning
>and, later, unlearning. (As
>Tyler Durden implied in a very
>interesting post, I thought.)
But you would not need to learn martial arts would you? You want to learn it
and are taking the steps to learn it. But you're not needing to learn it so
bad that you are impairing your judgement, good sense, and willingness to work
at it and fuck it up. You dedicate the time and energy and learn. You choose
a style of martial arts (eg karate) you like and go with it. There's no right
or wrong, it's just what you like.
>I don't think you can deny
>that rightly or wrongly many
>beginners feel a real need,
That's the problem right there. Wanting to handle the need by fretting and
overanalysing in lieu of just experimenting, just makes the need worse or at
least doesn't make it go away. Reading endless posts and asking endless
questions and endlessly thinking about how the fuck to deal with women to
guarantee success is a symptom of need. However, reading and simply trying
stuff out, and not caring about the outcome is the way to do it.
The worst mindset is: "I want to know what definately works so I'll just keep
reading and reading and not approach very much UNTIL I read something that
makes a lot of sense and THEN I'll start really approaching and doing exactly
that thing, because then I'll know for sure and I won't be fucking up." This
is just another way of putting excess importance on the women you interact
with, because now you're structured instead of fluid. And that is what fucks
you up. A KJ will always remain a KJ until he realizes the futility in the
search for that very specific thing which will get him laid.
"But you don't understand, I want something specific that definately works for
me without all the bullshit" - that's the problem right there. A KJ will
always remain a KJ until he realizes the futility of this statement.
There are no specifics. Only thresholds, some guidelines, common sense, and
running averages.
>I think there's a sub-theme in
>a lot of masf postings that
>might be summarized as "masf
>should be about
>self-improvement, not finding
>a woman". Fair enough. I even
>agree that's a worthwhile end.
>It's like obtaining
>transferable job skills: the
>old saw about give a man a
>fish he eats for a day, but
>teach him to fish, etc. But
>tell that to a man who's
>starving. Yes, it's true, but
>it's not especially helpful
>for his present predicament --
>he wants a fish now, dammit.
That's the problem. First lay I got I was needy by definition (never having
had sex before) but I got some experience dating beforehand by fucking things
up, and got my neediness under control for the big first moment. Would she
have fucked me had I acted needy? Probably not! Would you fuck an UG because
she's needy and desparate? Of course not.
>I guess what I'm saying is
>don't knock the structures of
>masf. Do people overdo it?
People who have read the basics and are trying stuff out without caring too
much about the outcome are the guys who learn the fastest. The guys who are
always posting about basic stuff and hungry for posts that can give them that
edge are generally the guys who are most needy and unsuccessful imo.
>Sure -- it doesn't take a
>genius to see that your
>critiques are accurate. More
>generally, do I agree that
>inner game» is the central
>issue? Sure. But people need a
>route, need some kind of way
>to start out.
You start out by crawling, then you work your way up to walking, then finally
running. You can't start off in the majors until you made the minors. Problem
is too many guys want to start off at the majors, which is impossible because
no single post or tidbit of knowledge can let you start off at the majors. You
have good resources to work with but you have to put in the actual work or you
don't succeed. Believing anything else is just living in a dreamworld.
|
