mASF post by "san***m@at***.com[ ? ]"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, February 2, 2005On 2/13/05 5:25:00 AM, TylerDurden wrote:
>
>What this is in my mind is
>like a split identity. On a
>core identity <
>br>
>level, there are certain
>things that trigger me to take
>on one set of <
>br>
>thought and behaviour
>patterns, and certain things
>that trigger me
>
>to take on an entirely
>different set. It's
>interesting to me, because <
>br>
>my old patterns have been
>engrained into me for 22
>years, and my
>
>new ones for about 3 years.
>It's hard to let go of the old
>patterns.<
>br>
One of the big challenges is: how do we create a place in the mind of clarity,
courage and compassion from which we can view our patterns, without fear,
anxiety, and,most importantly, accidentally reinforcing them?
Something I teach my students:
You can look through your challenges and try to find your resources. Or you
can create and reinforce your resources and look through them AT your
challenges.
Tyler, let me assist you here by dealing with the notion of beliefs.
Beliefs do the following things:
*Open or close levels of awareness
*Open or close access to skill
*Open or close flows of energy
*Tend to be self-confirming, and filter out those experiences, ideas, etc that
might conflict with them.
So, if you were to deliberately set out to build a mental "space" from which
to
view your patterns, without anxiety, fear, mood swings or accidentally
reinforcing them, what beliefs might you want to put in?
I suggest the following to my students:
*Anything that comes up, is coming up to be handled, healed, learned from
and released.
*I can learn to do anything; if I haven't gotten where I want to go, it's not a
matter of destiny or fate or karma or my "personality". It's just a matter of
time, technology, technique or circumstance, and sooner or later, I WILL get
there.
*The resources inside of me are greater than any challenge I may face in the
world
*I either get what I want or learn what I need to in order to get what I want
or
better the next time.
*At any moment, I can connect in with a source of wisdom, ability and power
that is virtually without limit
Now, if you were to daily, as part of a ritual, build in a space that
consisted
of these beliefs, plus learned to calm your mind through 10 minutes of
breathing meditation, and then, from there, looked at your challenges,
whatever they are, they might begin to shift significantly.
>>
>Now if I'm on a workshop, it's
>the opposite. I'm in
>"character". I <
>br>
>have guys all giving me props,
>and its easy for me to take on
>that <
>br>
>role. Likewise, if I'm out
>with my friends. If I'm out
>with friends then
>
>I'm having fun and I will
>already be joking around and
>generating a
>
>good social vibe within my
>group.
Maybe you have an external frame of reference with regard to your
"confidence"; when you are surrounded by those who "feed you" and believe
in you, it triggers those aspects of your "self" that are more outgoing.
Now, you can learn to hi-jack this, so they need not be around.
The key is to become aware of the flows of feeling in your body that trigger
these extroverted states; what I call signal recognition. As you become aware
of the first signals you get inside when you "snap up" and then become aware
of the flow of feelings, the pattern of breathing etc, you can also learn to
assign a symbol to it that assists you in stacking these anchors, so the entire
state and entire set of resources will be available to you, regardless if other
people are with you or you are completely alone.
>
>Mine is different. I'm more
>reserved and quiet. I have a
>tendency <
>br>
>to be very critical of myself
>in everything that I do, which
>causes <
>br>
>negative thought loops.
The negative thought loops ARE a sign or symptom of an over-stimluated
brain. The fight/flight mechanism is on overdrive.
10 minutes of daily meditation will help get you out of this loop. It's bio-
chemical, but can be addressed through non-drug means.
It's crucial you address this and NOT try to tackle the entire thing
cognitively.
>
>I see that same pattern ALSO
>come out during workshop,
>because
>on
>many workshops I will get
>critical on myself and feel
>like I'm doing
>a poor
>job. I felt that way during
>my DYD speech, which was why I
>had
>to
>leave the stage early. I
>couldn't get control of the
>frame from the <
>br>
>audience, which left me
>feeling deflated.
Maybe that's a good sign not to do business with DYD(smirk smirk..I couldn't
resist).
Or maybe you just burn out from all sarging and tap-dancing around.
Sometimes we just need to pull back, stay home and recharge. Meditation
and yoga are good resources for that.
Look, Project Hollywood is a very stimulation driven lifestyle. That comes
with a price: burnout.
>
>It's hard for me to imagine
>merging my two identities. I
>can't really
>
>picture myself acting like I
>do in set all the time. In
>set, I'm wickedly
>
>funny, my speak clearly and my
>voice resonates perfectly, I
>control
>
>frame, etc etc.. Everything I
>say is fascinating, and every
>time I'm <
>br>
>funny everyone responds. I'm
>in the moment and not reaction
>dependent. It's like I'm a
>better person. But when I'm
>just hanging
>
>out, I'm more reserved and
>laid back. I dont' feel like
>that. My
>mind isn't operating like
>that.
Why not have these and even more options available? Why should you always
be "on", always be funny?
What's wrong with having the CHOICE to be laid back?
I say, "NOTHING". It's only a problem if you falsely THINK you always HAVE
to be on. It's good to have the method to get their quickly, out of choice,
when no friends are around, but again, YOU DON'T HAVE TO ALWAYS BE
"ON".
>
>What's weird, is that I don't
>even know if I would want it
>to. I can't <
>br>
>focus intellectually when I'm
>in that mindstate, because I'm
>working
>
>on purely emotional
>intelligence. When I sarge, I
>am purely in <
>br>
>state, and I am not analytical
>whatsoever. I am on
>autopilot. There
>
>is NO thinking.
>
>I am an extremely analytical
>guy in general. Probably one
>of the <
>br>
>most analytical guys I know.
>It's kind of obnoxious but its
>also a <
>br>
>talent. By not going out, I
>become more analytical. And
>as I
>become more analytical, I
>analytically look at myself
>and the self-<
>br>
>critical thought loops are
>more at the forefront. When
>I'm
>emotional, I don't feel those
>kinds of things. I've learned
>to
>eliminate them, but only when
>I'm in that state.
>
>Either way, my focus now is
>not on sarging as that is a
>temporary <
>br>
>fix. It is very clear to me
>that I need to sort this out
>by other means.
>
>On some levels, it is not a
>priority. Business wise, I am
>actually <
>br>
>doing better as a super
>analytical hermit. But
>internally, it is not <
>br>
>something that I would be
>interested in doing for a long
>period of <
>br>
>time.
>
>I wonder how I would merge
>those two identities, or if I
>would even
>
>want to. There is a lot to
>this that I don't understand.
>I wonder if <
>br>
>there are any books written on
>the topic.
>
>
>-TD
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