mASF post by "hotlab"
posted on: mASF forum: Advanced Discussion, September 9, 2004This is an important post. Let me add a couple of things:
First what you describe from your experience is basically scientifically
proven. For example John Gray (I guess others did the research) describes four
different connections that are required for a good relationship between a man
and a woman:
physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual
All these connections are valuable for both, men and women. The fundamental
difference between them is that they prefer to build these connections in a
different sequence.
Men want to start with the physical connection and decide thereafter if she's
worth an emotional connection. Often she's not and gets dumped.
Women want to start with the emotional connection because this is a
prerequisite for them to enjoy the physical connection i.e. sex. At times they
cave in and offer the sex early in order not to lose the guy, but many have
been burnt that often that they don't do that anymore.
Another author (Harley, His needs, her needs) wrote about the different
emotional needs of men and women and about what happens when these needs aren't
met.
He found that the basic needs of women are:
affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family
commitment
and those of men:
sexual fulfilment, recreational companionship, domestic support (peace and
quiet) and admiration
Finally you are right when are saying that pushing things too fast fucks up a
potential relationship. If you want her for a lasting LTR, there's no other way
than to gain her heart.
As a fan of the I-Ching which describes pretty good every situation in life
including the potential pitfalls here a short excerpt from the hexagram "Taming
power of the small" which is about gaining influence by friendly persuasion,
which is considered to be potentially successful in general.
But a pitfall of such an undertaking is described by line three:
"Here an attempt is made to press forward forcibly, in the consciousness that
the obstructing power is slight. But since, under the circumstances, power
actually lies with the weak, this sudden offensive is doomed to failure.
...
Naturally this is not a favorable state of things, for though the situation may
enable the weaker side to hold its ground, the difficulties are too numerous to
permit of a happy result. In consequence even the strong man cannot so use his
power as to exert the right influence on those around him. He experiences a
rebuff where he expected an easy victory, and he thus compromises his dignity."
On 9/5/04 6:08:00 PM, The_One wrote:
>I posted this elsewhere
>roughly around 6 months ago,
>and a lot of people seemed to
>find it useful. Thus, some
>encouraged me to post here for
>everyone. I hope some of my
>field experience helps your
>game.
>------------------------------
>
>
>Buying Temperature vs. More
>Solid Game:
>
>This is based on field
>experience, and I am not
>theorizing while sitting on my
>ass.
>
>A lot of posts on ASF seem to
>deal with the concept of
>“Buying Temperature” and how
>high her buying temperature is
>at any given time.
>
>It’s a common theme where guys
>posting field reports are
>constantly obsessed with
>buying temperature, i.e (is it
>high enough yet? How high is
>it? Oh shit, it’s dipping
>down. Put a thermometer in her
>ass.)
>
>I do NOT play the buying
>temperature game. (Anymore)
>Why?
>The buying temperature game
>consists of amplifying
>attraction so high that she
>will act hastily and in a rash
>manner. It requires minimal
>amount of comfort. In fact, it
>requires just enough comfort
>so that she trusts that you
>are not some psychotic
>ax-murderer who is going to
>cause bodily harm to her.
>
>This is great with a certain
>group of girls whom you are
>interested as having for
>one-night stands, and do not
>plan to see again.
>(Thus, if you are only
>interested in getting a
>blowjob in the bathroom, this
>does not apply to you. And
>this is the only thing some of
>you are after.)
>
>However, if you do actually
>like the girl and plan on
>making an LTR or MLTR out of
>her, playing the buying
>temperature game is the wrong
>choice. She won’t want to see
>you again, and I’ll explain
>why.
>
>Imagine a girl having a secret
>code like a safe. If you know
>the right combination of
>numbers to push, you can get
>her to open. (This is done
>through pushing her emotions.)
>By pushing those right
>buttons, you will get her to
>open up but what once you have
>made out with her, or had sex
>with her (onenight stand), she
>will realize that she behaved
>out of character.
>In other words, she’ll come to
>her senses and realize what
>happened the night before. She
>won’t call you again.
>
>Recently, I wrote a post called “4 out 5
>Playboy.” It was when Playboy-LA and I
>went out 5 nights and extracted girls
>back to the house on 4 of those
>occasions and made out with them.
>
>One common thread I noticed along these
>lines was that it was so hard to get
>these girls to come out and see us
>again. They just did not want to do it.
>Why? There was enough attraction for
>them to have full make-out sessions with
>us the night we met them, and yet, they
>are hesitant to follow up.
>
>I made it a point to tell pursue one
>girl and get her out with me.
>She was REALLY attracted to me, and you
>could see her battling herself to not
>make out with me. She failed. We made
>out for a while, it became really
>passionate, and I number closed her as
>she and her pal left project Hollywood.
>
>I called her the next day and I got "I
>am seeing someone" excuse.
>After calling her a few times, doing a
>few false-invites, false flakes, I got
>her to come see me.........TWO Months
>later!
>While talking about relationships, I
>brought up how funny girls are when it
>comes to their behavior and how they
>have ASD [anti-slut defense.] (I did not
>use this terminology, obviously.)
>She admitted to me that this was the
>reason why she would not want to do a
>day 2.
>She said, “Why do you think I kept
>avoiding coming and seeing you?”
>
>This debriefing was an interesting
>revelation.
>I talked to IN10SE about this, and he
>shared a similar story about a girl he
>had in his house. In this case, the girl
>explicitly stated, “If you want me as a
>girlfriend, don’t sleep with me tonight.
>If you do, you’ll never see me
>again.”(Now, that’s the kind of honesty
>only matched by Jlaix in his admission
>of laying fat girls.)
>
>Playing the buying temperature game is
>less solid game. I had a chat with
>Mystery, Style, and Wilder about this.
>Mystery says it’s fool’s mate. I agree.
>
>Issues with buying temperature game:
>
>All or nothing syndrome:
>
>I view buying temperature like a
>swinging pendulum. You might have her
>super charged emotions and got her
>buying temperature high, but if
>something happens and she slips out of
>that state, you will lose everything.
>The pendulum will swing completely the
>other way and you’ll have nothing. This
>is why you get all or nothing.
>
>Buyer’s remorse:
>
>If you do like the girl and make out
>with her too quickly, she won’t want to
>see you again. This is why Jlaix and I
>decided to not take the girls back to
>project Hollywood in the previous
>report.
>
>If I had to illustrate this on a graph:
>Solid game would be charted like this:
>You start at zero and push her
>attraction to about level 3. You
>maintain that across the graph and
>periodically push it up (to a 4, then 5,
>then 6, etc…)
>
>Buying temerature game is like having an
>instant spike in the graph to a level of
>8 or 9, but just as it spikes, it could
>crash like bad Enron stock.
>
>
>I do not really like one-night stands,
>or drunk party girls. For this reason,
>the buying temperature game can be
>pointless.
>
>On the other hand, if you are trying to
>get a “Party chick” or a bar-whore all
>excited and a state of frenzy, in order
>to get a quick extraction to do
>whatever, then buying temperature game
>might be the thing for you.
>However, realize that the pendulum could
>swing and that spike could crash very
>easily when emotions are running so
>high.
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