mASF post by "frankie"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, August 8, 2004Foreword
This guide alludes to concepts written of in other resources. In order to make
use of them, you should read the following:
http://www.askapril.com/gettingapril.php
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56285
http://www.datebeautifulwomen.com/beta/shyness.pdf
That said, there’s one more thing that will help you immeasurably: stop reading
articles at this site (and others). Over-analysis and useless conjecture aren’t
going to help you get laid. Most of them are written by keyboard jockeys who
don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Some of them are written as
indirect sales-pitches for overpriced, ineffective commodities. In any case,
just read this guide, the three articles above, and if you have questions or
need clarification, send me an email. As I write later on, shouldn’t even need
this guide, much less any of the rest of what is written at this site.
Introduction
I was hesitant to write this guide, because I felt that it fundamentally isn’t
necessary. There’s a wealth of information out there, so why should I add to
it, if it is already sufficient? The problem is, though, that much of the
information about seduction is false, irrelevant, or unnecessary. It isn’t that
there isn’t information for the serious student; it’s just that there isn’t
enough right information. Even so, an intuitive person should be able to
succeed without a guide, providing he knows that he can succeed through the
following activities:
1. Listen to your friends: Your friends behave by different rules, and see
slightly different limitations in their lives. They will do things that you
would never consider doing, and you can learn a great deal of flexibility from
them. One of the great fallacies of seduction is that there is one “right way”.
While most of what you read from “seduction gurus” is simply falsehood
engineered to sell books, it’s important to remember that you have a great deal
of flexibility, if only because there are so many different kinds of women out
there.
2. Listen to your libido: The little guy down there knows what he wants, and if
you give him half a chance, he’ll do his best to get it for you. Sound
familiar? That’s right, this is exactly why ‘jerks’ get the girls, while ‘nice
guys’ who act like eunuchs don’t. Your own libido can inspire you to become
aggressively sexual, clouding away your insecurities and inhibitions.
3. Listen to your own experience: What reason, exactly, do you have to do
things differently than how you did them in the past when you had your greatest
successes? None, and that’s why your own experience is your best guide. You
know that the experiences you’ve had are factual, and you can learn from both
your successes and failures to gain knowledge and skills that you simply can’t
get anywhere else.
4. Go out and do it: One hour of real experience is easily worth a thousand
hours of being hunched over at your computer desk reading articles from
keyboard jockeys. Just go out and do it! There’s really nothing to be afraid
of. However, as Tom Leykis said (at least once, though I wouldn’t be surprised
if he says it often): “I know you won’t, because you’re a pussy!” If you think
that there’s something missing in your abilities, I present to you the guide to
correcting that deficiency:
Philosophy
There are many misconceptions (called “stinking thinking”) that prevent men
from realizing their potential with relationships. I will only touch on a few
of them for now. There are also many philosophies that can help you. Knowing
the difference can be the difference between satisfaction and frustration.
While it’s not my intention to present a comprehensive list, this should be
enough to prevent any major hang-ups.
Have a passion for life
Guys with hobbies, who are happy with how their life is, are desirable to
women. Furthermore, it gives you something to talk about. Moreover, it builds
confidence, as well as other traits you need.
Physical Attractiveness
One big hang-up that many guys have is the belief that they aren’t attractive
enough for women. I’m not going to tell you that women are blind, or don’t care
about looks, but I will tell you one thing I have learned about this subject.
Some women will think that you aren’t handsome enough for them, but there’s
absolutely no reason to think that these are the most attractive women that
think this. In fact, it’s often the opposite.
Besides, the big thing about physical looks is generally grooming and dress.
These show that you know how to take care of yourself. If you look like a slob,
women will think that you don’t have what it takes to take care of yourself, so
why should she think that you could take care of her?
Take Interaction As Far As It Will Go
There’s no point in having regrets about not going to the next step with a
woman when you very well could have. That’s not to say that patience should be
thrown out the window. By all means, there’s no need to have sex with that cute
grocery store clerk the same day you go through her line. However, you should
realize that often, women want you to go further than you already have. Take
your time, but always have the next step in mind.
Make life work for you
Instead of suffering through a bad experience, make the best out of whatever
situation you are in. Ask yourself, “How could I make this more fun?” Take
control of your life. If a date stands you up, be creative and find something
to do that makes it more enjoyable. As a man, it is your job in seduction to
initiate everything with a woman. Don’t expect things to come to you. You must
go after them, and there is no reason not to enjoy this fact.
Inner Game»
Having a good philosophy doesn’t get you very far if you are paralyzed with
fear at the prospect of talking to a woman. I’ll mention various attributes
later on in the guide, but here are some thoughts that you should start with.
Confidence
You’ve read this before, but let’s go through it again. Confidence is the
attribute you must cultivate. Without it, nothing else you have matters,
because you won’t have the ability to bring out your other attributes.
Cultivating your confidence is a gradual process, and requires certain
techniques.
How many times have you qualified your successes (“well, I made out with her,
but we didn’t go all the way, so it doesn’t count as a success”), and at the
same time, dwelled on your failures (“I can’t believe I didn’t ask that girl
out three years ago”)? Well, stop that. In fact, do the opposite.
Everything you do can be framed as a success on some level. Appreciate those
successes.
Build your confidence on areas separate from that of relationships with women.
Realize that confidence is a sub-conscious attribute. You shouldn’t feel
confident- you should merely be confident. There are ways of indirectly
accessing the sub-conscious mind. Techniques such as affirmation and
visualization are very useful in this regard.
Entire books have been written on this subject, and this is the one topic that
I suggest you actually spend some money on. Psycho-Cybernetics, by Maxwell
Maltz, is an especially insightful book in a field that is mostly filled with
self-help garbage.
Assume the Best
Many people like to contemplate the details of reading women’s signals, and
other such nonsense. Women are all different, just like men, and if you spend
your energy analyzing every move she makes, you’re not going to be able to
perform your own actions. The best strategy, in every situation, is to assume
the best. Assume that she’s attracted. Assume that if she flakes out on your
date, it was because her dog died, or some other reason separate from you. When
you assume the best, you will act in a fashion that takes advantage of every
opportunity you have. Assuming anything less simply limits your possibilities.
Have Access to “The Zone”
Although it’s often poorly defined, “the Zone” is a state of mind that features
a complete lack of self-consciousness. In this state, a person’s energy is
efficiently applied for whatever task he is set on. In order to access this
state of complete confidence, you must have a goal in mind for your activity,
but at the same time, you must not be attached to the outcome. This is tricky
to do consciously, but it’s something to think about.
It is important to note, however, that it is not necessary to be in “the Zone”
to succeed. If you limit yourself by refusing to step outside of your comfort
zone, you will miss most of your opportunities.
Unlock Your Own Style
News flash: there isn’t a single style that is attractive to all women. Instead
of worrying about that, learn how to express yourself in your own way. Develop
your style, and tweak it if there’s something about it that repels women, but
disregard anyone’s idea that you have to change yourself fundamentally to be
attractive.
The Process
Now it’s time to learn about some concepts that you can actually apply. There
are four basic steps, which I’ve listed in reverse order. The reason for this
isn’t immediately apparent, but just trust me about this.
Chances are, you are good-to-fair at some of these techniques. In fact, it’s
likely that you just have one that serves as a ‘bottleneck’ that prevents you
from succeeding. Identify which it is, and concentrate on improving there.
Sexuality
Physical interaction proceeds gradually, from handholding to kissing, making
out, and so on. If this is where you’re getting caught up, read a sex book. In
any case, remember to introduce physical (non-sexual) contact early with a
woman. Also, use your “bedroom voice” as much as possible. Sounding like a
whiny garage-band rock star isn’t going to get you very far with most women,
regardless of what you say or do.
Date
A lot of different things can be meant by ‘date’ in the context of this guide.
It can mean “dinner and a movie”, or it can mean “going to the parking lot to
have oral sex”. In any case, there has to be some kind of outing in order to do
anything with a woman. The date itself should be made out of a combination of
various activities:
1. Something Fun: This is generally the original purpose of the date, when you
asked her out. This lowers the inhibitions of both you and the woman you’re
with.
2. Food: Dinner, lunch, or a snack.
3. Something Romantic: Without sacrificing fun, think of things to do that are
more low-key, and have a greater level of intimacy involved.
4. Somewhere Private: Generally, someone’s home, and you end up here for
obvious reasons. Remember the romance doesn’t stop there. It has to accelerate.
Romantic music and lighting are helpful at your place.
Doing all four of these things, in this order, is the ‘typical’ idea I have
when I plan a date. Of course, spontaneity is a very valuable trait, and should
not be forgotten, as well as flexibility.
Many novices think of dating as performing only one of these things in a date.
I prefer to do many, because it prevents boredom and increases intensity,
without actually putting any pressure on your date.
Chivalry is very important. With some women, you’ll score lots of points with
simply gestures of chivalry. Others are indifferent, but it’s still worth your
time and effort.
Traits to cultivate: Creativity, being fun-loving, romanticism. Have a rough
plan for the date before you ask her out. And don’t forget to have fun!
Flirting
Engaging in small talk with a beautiful woman is fun, right? The thing is, you
want to be friendly, but not get stuck in the “friend zone”. For this purpose,
just remember a few conversational techniques:
1. Listening: Ask open-ended questions, and while you do so, be concerned about
her answer. Do not think about what to say next, because that only leads to
stress. In the course of listening, take note of her answers, and use them to
formulate new questions. “Me too” comments can quickly establish a connection,
and you should not hesitate, as long as you are sincere.
2. Playfulness: Lightly teasing and joking with a woman is very attractive. Be
playful, and remember to use your own unique style.
3. Compliments: Sincere, unique compliments are best.
4. Romantic, Positive Subjects: Avoid negative, unpleasant topics of
conversation. Instead, focus on good feelings, and if possible, lead the
conversation towards especially romantic topics.
Don’t be afraid that you’re being ‘nosy’ about asking certain questions, as
long as you are gradually increasing the level of intimacy of those questions.
If you avoid a topic because it seems too personal, the woman you are talking
to may very well decide that you aren’t interested in her as a person.
Are you keeping your destination in mind? Remember to ask her out or get her
phone number if you don’t expect to run into her again.
Traits to cultivate: Playfulness, curiosity.
Meeting
I don’t ‘hit on’, ‘mack’, or ‘sarge’ girls. I meet them. Women don’t have a
“sixth sense” any more than men do, but they can tell the difference between a
good guy wanting to meet someone and an idiotic pick up (that is, unless the
girl is an idiot herself, which leads many ‘players’ to believe that they are
being charming when they get that “1000 served” prize).
This is a simple topic at its heart, but it’s made complex (and difficult) by
the options you have, many of which are contradictory.
The first thing you must do is find or create an opening. One of the best ways
of doing this is to smile and maintain eye contact for a few seconds. If you
are at a distance, it’s also a good idea to wave to her. Sometimes, however,
all you have to do is wait until she is approachable.
The first conversation generally starts as such:
1. Excuse: Why are you talking to her (at least initially)? It could be for the
simple company of another human being, in which case you can begin with a
comment about the environment at large (weather, whatever music is playing, the
way the coffee is here). It could be to give or receive a favor, or to ask a
question. It could also be because you noticed something that you felt you
needed to compliment her on.
2. Introduction: Exchange names, shake hands.
3. Begin Flirting: Come up with a topic and see where it leads.
Lastly, there is the “hit and run” compliment. This is an unreliable way to
meet women, but it is a very good way to gain confidence, as well as brighten
someone’s day.
Traits to cultivate: Alertness, observation. The first thing to do, of course,
is to find a woman. Use your sense of observation to determine what kinds of
women are around you (in both social and physical terms), and what suitable
topics of conversation you can start up with.
Conclusion
That should be most of the information you need. Now it’s time to get some
practice and find out what works for you. Yes, I said “for you”. I know that
100% of this guide works for me, but guess what? You are a different person-
your desires, aptitudes, style, and interests are different from mine, either
slightly or considerably. Nevertheless, I believe that this guide should be
helpful to you, but only if you are willing to apply these concepts. This,
along with the suggested reading, is more than you need to know, and continuing
to sit there and read articles is only going to slow you down and confuse you.
Remember, the key is to have fun. The ‘naturals’ who tend to score with women
are the ones who enjoy being with women without sacrificing their own
sexuality. If you can meet, flirt with, and date women, and have fun doing so,
then the outcome isn’t important, because you are already enjoying your time.
Are you starting to understand what I mean by “the zone”? In any case, the best
thing you can do is to apply these concepts. Real experience is the most
valuable thing you can have. Remember the four activities I talked about in the
beginning? They should be your guide, not this.
Frank Zones
Fra***9@ho***.com[ ? ]
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