mASF post by "goldenboy"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, June 6, 2005>> the first time I *closed a girl directly in a club that I didn't approach on
the dance floor <<
I. pick-up
On Friday, the first day of the Euro Summit, I went to the club "Nachtschicht"
with some other guys from the community.
As usual I feel a bit introverted and insecure when entering the club. So I
walk around for a few minutes and then start dancing to get into an upbeat and
outgoing state. After about half an hour I feel ready to start running sets and
it doesn't take long until I see a cute blonde standing next to her friend at
the bar next to the dance floor (it turns out that she is 19).
I put my hand on her shoulder, turn her around without force, and say "I like
you, I wanna get to know you" (in German). She is a bit surprised but starts
seeking rapport immediately, mainly asking questions like "where are you from"
etc. Because of her Viennese accent it's hard for me to understand her so I
tell her that we should go find a quiter place. Without waiting for an answer I
start walking off slowly without looking back and venue change her. We sit down
on a comfortable sofa where I open my body language to make her relaxed and I
try to build wide and deep rapport and escalate slowly.
At one point she mentions that she still has strong feelings for her ex
boyfriend. I ignore her comment and she says that it's probably better to avoid
this topic.
Some minutes later, just a second before going in for the kiss she says she
doesn't want to leave her friend alone, so I say "ok, let's go to your friend".
I lead her back to the point where I opened her and started talking to her
friend's bf to create social proof and not look desperate as if I was waiting
for her. After two or three minutes she comes back to talk to me again and I
lead her to the dance floor because I think that my good dancing will create
even more attraction and venue changing will help building more rapport. After
two songs of grinding her front and back I take her hand and go to a quiter
part of the club again, escalate and kiss her without resistance.
After that, I venue-change her a couple of times to build rapport and keep
things interesting. After a while she mentions that this is the first time a
guy picked her up and that it's been a while since she last kissed a guy.
At 2 AM she says she has to leave because she has to get up early the next day.
She puts her number in my cell phone and five minutes later she asks me to call
her to make sure the number she gave me was correct. Furthermore she said she
"enjoyed being with me" so I was confident that she wouldn't flake and she
didn't.
II. day2
I hate day 2s, I really do. I'm always nervous as hell and feel there's more to
lose than during the initial pick-up.
I meet her in front of the Stephansdom, a huge church in the city center. We
hug each other but don't kiss and she says she can show me around her city. So
while we walk around holding hands I already regret that I didn't kiss her when
we first saw each other and also dislike the idea that SHE is showing ME
around, firstly because it makes her the dominant one, and secondly because
it's boring for her to just walk around the streets of her city.
I feel that her buying temperature is low and that her attraction is
diminishing so I suggest to sit down and eat ice cream.
My idea is that it feels natural to escalate while we sit and after having
finished our portions I put my arm around her shoulder and start caressing her
hand. After a few seconds she says she has to leave soon because she needs to
go to the gym and wants to meet a friend afterwards.
It hits me like a thunderbolt and think "shit, she's inventing this white lie
to get rid of me and I didn't even kiss her". I'm trying to hide my
anger/frustration and don't even try to argue with her or change her emotions.
I suggest that we leave and tell her "a friend just sent me a text message, he
wants to meet up with me now" because I don't want to spend another pointless
minute with her.
We say goodbye, hug each other, and she says she had a great time (wtf?)...
III. analysis
Looking back, I think the initial pick-up was good but not perfect because at
one point I almost lost her. I didn't know what to say when she told me about
her feeling for her ex and I also didn't know what to do when she wanted to go
back to her friend.
When Magnus asked me about this set later on he even told me that at one point
he thought I was losing her.
Regarding the day2, I think it was a mistake that I didn't kiss her when first
seeing each other. It feels weird to passionately make out one night and then
meet a couple of days later in the afternoon and then just start with hugging
and holding hands.
Furthermore, it was bad that I have her the upper hand and let me show around;
not to mention that it was a boring date in itself because it's not exciting
for her to walk through her city.
Comments? Ideas what I could've done better?
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