mASF post by "Phenix"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, July 7, 2005On 7/29/05 12:42:00 AM, Walter wrote:
>OK, this RAFC finally got into
>the field and pulled my first
>post-masf lay - which also was
>my first sex for 5 years.
Congrats, bro :)
Keep on the good work !
> Was alpha and C&F for a while, and
>then I lost her through
>neediness and also, to be
Work on theses beliefs that brought neediness. Even if you want much sex or
love, don't give a fuck. Best way to have them, believe me !
>honest, I was not good in bed.
Work on why you were not good in bed. Become good in bed.
Learn to give them orgasms if it is what you lack, learn to control your mental
imagery if needed, etc.
I'm not joking, you will have homework to do on this.
Just do.
>So while she was all over me
>at first, I've now been
>LJBF'd.
How did you react at first on this ? What exactly did you say ?
>All good experience, and
>overall I'm happy with my
>progress.
As long as you take profit of what happens to better yourself, you can be happy
with it !
> I know what to watch
>out for next time - even
>though I knew the danger of
>neediness, I still couldn't
>resist contacting her too much
>which killed the vibe.
For the futre, transfer this kind of problem to her. If you want to be
contacted, make this HER need.
"Hey Baby, I hope you'll make me think of you, erh... not to the point of being
a stalker I mean..."
Remember that she must ALWAYS want a little more than you give to stay the
object of her desire.
>I'm moving on to greener
>fields, but I intend to keep
>her in the background by a)
>not making contact for a week
>or two b) then chatting her
>with the same C&F attitude
>which attracted her in the
>first place before I went all
>wuss.
Nonono.
First remember the most important thing : there is no more a problem. You must
feel it. Then you can go on her case.
With her, be human. Assume that you work on what you fucked up (I also
recommend that you really do lol). Use your friend position to incidentally
tell her that you successfully work on this fucking points that made her ljbf
you.
Stay congruent, if much C&F before, don't drop.
Also very important is to reverse the frame.
"It is great that you told me this, I was considering/decided to tell it to you
myself. I say... I tried, but something was lacking. It's like, you know..
attraction. You are a great girl and all, but you lacked to really interest me
and get me into you, in many ways. I like you very much, like a sister, and I
think of you and stuff, but I wanted hard for more because you are nice and
such, but I felt that despair and I finally understand this was not for being
with you, it was for you to bring me what a girl can bring to her man, for
that...alchemy you know. It even made me look like I was not myself anymore, I
was not feeling good despite of my feelings for you. So don't worry, I don't
resent you for this, don't feel guilty, it's not like you had control of
this..."
This, in a few words, take her back the power, bring vaguely the origin of the
trouble on her so that she has to revalidate herself, intrigue her and make her
feel guilt so that she won't leave, re assess youreself, and frustrate her (the
'like a little sister' is pure gold).
Then throw her off feet with stuff demonstrating high value.
Take her as a confidant.
Talk about your understanding of seduction (don't get too technical),
relationships, people... Tell/show her in happy way that you do better with
your new girlfriends. Joke with her about your past relationship (a major
grounding neg).
From time to time, bring back advocacy of "Hey it's cool we are friends, isn't
it ?" (it drives them mad).
You will have to *demonstrate* without appearing to, that every fuckup you did
has been corrected.
Here is an example, maybe not appropriate to your case ;) but focus on the HOW
not the what
"Well, I am very pleased ! Last night I came back home with a really gorgeous
girl, she was a model until last year, and I was able to fuck her for more than
an hour before coming, she was like mad... It's great for me, you know, you
remember when we were together, I could not last more than ten minutes..."
Take your time. Weeks, maybe months. MSN is great, meetings one to one too.
Use stealthy negging to replace obvious attract stuff, don't appear to hit on
her, never until she gives you back phase shift signals (and even then, always
go slower than she wishes, and make her confirm these phase shifts by making
her ask more than one time for these).
Replace your in-love BL with alpha non needy/non impressionned BL... She does
not attract you, ok ?
Create deep rapport.
Then use strong evocation stuff to generate emotions in her.
Then loosen the subjects of your convos, until she brings the topics back to
the two of you.
>I know the repeat performance
>probably won't happen, but in
>your experience what are the
>odds?
Depends on how you proceed.
If you really like her, make this recovery maneuver last a few months, and
during this time fuck other girls.
In fact your chances are good (I often gamed LJBF girls in the past, it is too
easy), but I put a condition :
DON'T COME BACK TO HER UNTIL YOU ARE NO MORE NEEDING HER AT ALL.
>Yes I will (try to) GFTOW in
>the meantime...
"There is no thing like trying. Do or don't." Yoda
!)
Good Luck Man
Phenix
"Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."
Sun Tzu
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