mASF post by "InGenius"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, August 8, 2005LR: “Would you be willing to just hold me?” (week 8) (long)
This happened when I went to Germany in February for Carnival – it’s a week of
partying and everybody wears costumes when they go out. I was at this really
boring bar waiting for my buddy to finish work. I’m chatting to some guy and
when I look over his shoulder I notice two girls talking about me. At first I
thought they were talking about the guy I was talking to because he was dressed
like Bono (the singer). Anyway the guy goes off to get a drink and it’s
confirmed – they are talking about me not him! That doesn’t happen much to a
rAFC like myself – I didn’t even know what an IOI was till recently.
I’ve never done a full frontal walk-up in a bar before. My bar style is
usually; get positioned beside them (in a really packed bar), then after a
while, ask them a question – much lower risk AFC style. Anyway I thought; fuck
it, I’m gunna do it alpha this time. So I’m still on the same spot where the
dude left me right in the middle of the near-empty bar staring (cool suspicious
look) at these two girls. I hate being in the spotlight but this time I forced
myself because I was in a powerful state (thanks to ASF). Obviously the
3-second rule applies here so I approach.
I open with “don’t you know it’s rude to talk about people like that?” My
target is dressed in some stripy pyjama looking costume. I say “so who are you
supposed to be? Mrs McDonald?” She asks me who that is and I say “You know, the
hamburger dude’s wife.” I get a laugh and the friend leaves to get some
drinks.
A bit of fluff ensues. It turns out we work in similar fields so there is
instant rapport. Some further intelligence I gather is: she has a PhD
(intellectual), she is in charge of 20 people at work (authority), she must be
about the same age as me (life experience). She has worked for the same
company for 6 years (committed, stayer). This helps me set my frame and cold
reads later on.
Here is my frame: She is a HB8 (I can’t see myself doing any better than 7’s
and 8’s at this stage of my PU career - limiting belief I know). Therefore
remain neutral to complementary on her looks (certainly no negs). She has an
excellent body. No need to explain the advantages of that. She is shorter
than me (I’m average height). This gives me a psychological advantage of
dominance. It’s a strange paradox how a physical advantage translates to a
psychological one. English is her second language. This means I have to talk
slower with many pauses, speak clearly, repeat important words and phrases and
leave out filler words (like “um”). In other words my voice is hypnotic!!! I
have to explain unfamiliar words. Heck, I’ve gotten rapport with foreign chics
just by explaining what the word “rapport” means!
I remember from ASF “don’t talk about work too much”. So I say: “Give me your
motto”. I bust on her for not having a motto. Then she says if she had to
choose one it would be: “Oh well.” Of course I have to bust on her some more
for having such a lame motto. She asks me what my motto is. I say I’ll tell
her later (if she’s good). Nice mini take away, I use it all the time now.
Then I ask “so do you think your motto is optimistic of pessimistic?” She says
“optimistic”. Then I ask if she thinks her motto is realistic or unrealistic.
She says “realistic”. I say “so your motto reflects realistic optimism?” I
say my motto is “It could be worse”. Then I ask her the same questions as they
relate to my motto. I conclude: “so both our mottos… reflect… realistic
optimism…that must mean.. we have the same outlook in life… similar ambitions…
similar goals… you and I… are like the same person… we are the same” I said
that really slowly with constant eye contact and hand movements going back and
forth between us. See what I did there? I just told her “we are the same”
(ie. instant rapport) and anchored that to her motto which hopefully she uses a
few times a day.
She mentioned that she rode a bike here tonight. I ask her if it’s one of
those old ladies bikes with the tray on the back so you can double somebody
(typical in Europe). I say “When I was in Amsterdam last summer, it was so
cute. I saw this guy riding his bike with his girlfriend sitting on the back.
She’s dressed elegantly in a skirt sitting sideways. They’re talking and
laughing as they’re going along. It was a nice warm day. They were probably
going for a drink or something.” Nice pattern-on-the-fly right there. Anyway
this is what I was setting up: “You know, I was planning on looking around the
town tomorrow. My buddy is working so I need someone to show me around. I’ve
always wanted to see a city by bicycle. You should meet me at the Cathedral
tomorrow with your bike. I think that would be really cool. I’m checking out
all the sites while you’re peddling!” Of course this gets a laugh and a slap
on the shoulder.
My buddy finishes work and I tell her I have to go now. I change to a
dominating frame and say to her, “So what you need to do is… you need to meet
me… at the Cathedral tomorrow at 1pm. I’ll be going past the Cathedral at that
time tomorrow. I expect you to be there with your bicycle… you can take me on
a wonderful tour around your city… and don’t forget – you’re peddling.” She
said she’s not going to meet me if she has to peddle. [HOOK POINT she’s just
agreed to meet me if I remove a condition which was bullshit in the first
place] So I say “OK I’ll peddle.” [Notice I didn’t go for the number. I
proposed the meeting and if she wasn’t interested I would have walked away].
She said she needed to go shopping and that she should be finished around 1pm
and that I should ring her. We exchanged numbers and I arrange to ring her at
1pm.
Day2
I wake up late just before 1pm. I wait till 1:15 before I ring her (you guys
know why) ;) I say in some phoney voice “Hello this is Mr McDonald here. Um
somebody stole my clothes yesterday, I was just wondering if you’ve seen them.”
She laughs. I pre-planned this to 1) break the tension of the first phone call
and 2) fire off the anchor from last night when we first me. (credit Bishop).
We arrange to meet at the Cathedral at 3pm.
We meet and go to a café for lunch. We talk for about 2 hours and develop
amazing rapport. We both had separate plans for the evening so we walk the
scenic route to a train station. I find out that she has a long term boyfriend
who lives in a different city. At this point I do a cold read. I describe how
they are such good friends, how they do everything together including shopping,
how he is so caring, helpful, respectful and honest. I say, “It’s like you are
best friends, when you’re with him he makes you feel comfortable, he makes you
feel secure but for some reason there is no passion, there’s no excitement.
Sometimes when you meet someone new (self point) it’s like there is this
incredible connection, it’s like this person can understand you without you
even speaking. It’s like you have this deep rapport with this person and you
begin to wonder how much deeper it can go.” Nice pattern-on-the-fly based on
Incredible Connection.
I ask her if she is a good cook and tell her that she should invite me to her
place for dinner. She does not immediately agree to it. I had prepared this
pattern earlier which I was always going to deliver at the end of our meeting
to push for the next meeting. In our field of work there is something called a
risk assessment. I said “You know what you need to do? You need to do a risk
assessment… and you need to think about… the consequences… of not doing this
(self point). You need to think about… all the things that won’t happen… if
you don’t invite me for dinner. I know 10 years from now… you will be thinking
about this day… and wondering… what didn’t happen? What didn’t we talk about?
What didn’t we experience? What didn’t we do?” See what I did right there? I
anchored her work to a fear of missing out (on me). Fucking evil!
Day3
Next day, well what do you know? She’s at work and for some reason gets the
urge to call me and invite me for dinner at her place tonight. During the call
she says “just so we understand each other – it’s just dinner right?” I said
“Of course it is. Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.” I also
said I have plans for later that night (indicating I wasn’t planning on
sleeping there). This is a huge act of trust on her behalf. It’s no time to
be evasive or pushy. It set the understanding that if something was going to
happen she would need to initiate it.
Dinner goes really well. Her place was amazing. We are very compatible.
She’s like an upgraded version of my ex girlfriend. More good qualities and
fewer bad qualities. The night ends with me saying “It’s almost 11 o’clock, I
don’t want you to be tired at work tomorrow, I should go now.” She later told
me that it was very considerate of me. I thought nothing of it at the time. I
give her a hug and kiss on the cheek before I went.
Day4
Next day I get a text message asking if she wants to meet up that afternoon.
She’s now chasing me! Now I know it ON! We meet at a café and spend the
evening walking around, sampling the local foods and then go into a club. This
is where I deliver my grand finale pattern that I prepared earlier.
I ask her “How do you know if you can trust someone?” She gave some vague
response about instinct as predicted. I say “I was thinking about this the
other day when I was reading something off the internet (DYD reference book
actually). The problem with stuff off the internet is you don’t know if it’s
original or if someone’s tampered with it and it’s all bogus but looks half
true. If you are reading a long document and there are new concepts in it that
you’ve never seen before, how do you know you can trust it? The way I do it
is; Well at first I’m sceptical. I start reading and I don’t make any
judgements about the material. Then as I read more and more I start looking
for consistency. Everything that follows must be congruent with everything
that came before it. I constantly check everything against my own values,
beliefs and experience and if everything matches up I allow myself to trust it
(self point).”
She says “If I take you home, will you be willing to just lie beside me and
hold me?” Now this actually surprised me because I never brought up the topic
of going home, going to bed, having sex. I said “That would be fine by me as
anything beats sleeping on the floor at my buddy’s place.”
Now I knew we were going to fuck but I thought I’d throw in one last pattern
just in case. I used this one on my ex-gf to turn her into a FB. I goes
something like this: “You know, for me it’s not about sex. For me it’s about
really connecting with someone. It’s about developing a deep rapport with
someone. A rapport so deep that we just seem to connect on every level. And
for me, sex is just a natural continuation of that rapport. It’s just a
natural consequence of what happens when you know someone so well. For me it’s
not even a conscious decision. For me it’s just like a good conversation that
continues to a deeper level.” I can’t remember who came up with the concept
but credit me for patternising it.
On the way home I say to her she can back out at anytime if she feels
uncomfortable. I also said she can lie on the outside of the bed (nearest the
door) in case she has to run out on me haha. On the way I’m DHVing about my
grand plans for the future which serves as a good distraction.
Back at her place we’re showered and teeth bushed (separately) and I assume my
position in bed behind her. I just hold her and smell her hair (credit David
D). Two minutes and she cracks! She turns around and starts kissing me and
the rest is history.
Well not quite. During the sex I test for the “submissive girl in the
professional woman”. I grab her ankles tightly, it makes her more excited. So
I fuck her really hard grabbing her wrists, her throat, pull her hair etc. I
ask for a blow job and she says “Um OK I’ll try”. Oh yeah, and I got my
back-door wings with this one. Afterwards she tells me she likes to be
submissive and her boyfriend doesn’t fuck her right. Well I never would have
guessed. ;)
PU Notes:
Always have something planned for your next meeting.
The risk assessment pattern had impact because it worked kind of like an
in-joke. Those words would be meaningless to a check-out chic. Same goes for
the trust pattern – it’s based on researching something on the internet. Only
the intelligent chics would get it ;)
I amazed myself with this PU. I did all this within 2 months of discovering
ASF. I am still learning this stuff so don’t expect another LR like this too
soon.
-InGenius
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"With great power, comes great responsibility" - Spiderman's Uncle
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