mASF post by "Paraiso"
posted on: mASF forum: Field Reports Discussion, July 7, 2005On 7/23/05 5:29:00 AM, Slojodan wrote:
>Hey Guys,
>
>Last night was rather
>maddening doing indirect
>openers, as I felt like all
>the girls knew what I was
>doing anyway. The odds of a
>stranger in a bar really
>caring about a random girl's
>opinion on whether girls think
>David Bowie is hot is low and
>they know that.
This is how I feel as well. This is why I dislike this type of opener. i mean
it opens well, but then what? What sort of an impact have you made?
>I'm not dissing RSD. The RSD
>seminar/workshop was the
>single greatest thing I've
>ever done to improve my social
>skills, in and out of the
>game. In fact, most of my
>direct game is RSD based,
>since you need f'n routines to
>keep the conversation going.
>How in the world are you
>supposed to keep it going once
>you've said “I like you and
>would like to get to know
>you.”
You shouldn't have to diss RSD. Everyone knows what those dudes have
contributed to the community. I'm more than sure that no matter what, they
would like to see you succeed regardless of the path you take to get better at
attracting women.
Routines is what you're comfortable with right now and you should use them if
they help you. The only thing I can tell you is, is that eventually you'll
want to rely more and more on your own spontaneity. Trust me the more you use
this style and develop an attitude and belief where you know that whatever you
say is golden then you'll be able to say things that come off the top of your
head. Personally I like what razorjack and Woodhaven have to say on this
subject. Razorjack uses a qualifying question and Woodhaven uses negs and c&f
in a more toned down fashion.
Just keep at it and the learnings will keep coming. You'll experience things
that will shape your own style.
>Well I listend to Shark's CD,
>and read every post he's ever
>made on badboylifestyle.com
>forums (not many). The funny
>thing is it's a challenging
>thing to do in bars, to get
>the balls to go up to a girl
>and tell her you like her
>already. But once your'e in
>it's a lot easier, and it's
>also a lot more efficient.
>Indirect game is just too
>complicated. It's like
>playing 3 games of chess at
>once when you could be playing
>one game of checkers with
>direct game. You can
>sometimes isolate immediately,
>and you can pre-qualify girls
>who have boyfriends and get
>that issue out of the way
>already. I'll go through some
>of the approaches I did.
The better you get at direct the more you will not get the "I've got a
boyfriend" kind of response. When I first started with direct I would get that
all the time. When I got better at direct I started getting this less. It's
not that girls magically and in a synchronized fashion started leaving their
boyfriends, it's that I started becoming more compelling to them. My game
started getting tighter. The I've got a boyfriend excuse is a knee jerk
response. Everyone knows that. When you become more compelling and congruent
with who you are this magically disappears. The reason why it disappears is
because you come off as someone who is genuinely interested in them. You
become the prince in the white horse. I am not kidding. They start viewing
you as a dominant male which knows what he wants and knows how to get it.
So if your question is how to proceed beyond the opener, then your answer is to
lead. Do whatever the fuck you want with the girl. When you start asking
yourself how you want things to proceed instead of how am I going to proceed to
get her to like me then you are on the right track.
>While I was walking the mall
>daygame with Keen, I saw this
>girl smoking by herself, so I
>did the line “Do you know who
>you remind me of?' and she
>said who? And I said “Someone
>I'd like to meet.” She
>laughed and said thank you and
>I did a few questions but it
>wasn't going anywhere, like
>felt a little forced, though
>she wasn't uncomfortable and
>would have stayed talking to
>me if I had something to say.
>So I ejected.
It will feel forced at the beginning , but you'll get better and then it will
come naturally.
>The next was a girl in the bar
>at Longboards. She looked
>depressed and by herelf. Not
>a good start, but I needed
>practices so I went up to her
>and said “You look very
>pretty, I would like to get to
>know you.”
>The line is really supposed to
>be “You look beauitful, I
>would like to get to know
>you.” I hate calling girls
>beautiful who aren't. I'm an
>honest guy, and I like to
>really mean it when I call a
>girl beautiful. When I call a
>girlfriend beuatiful I want
>her to really appreciate it.
>But you know what, as much as
>I like to think I will marry a
>10, I just might meet a girl
>who touches my soul and heart
>who happens to be a 6. Now
>how can I refuse to call my
>wife beautiful. Everyone
>wants to hear that. She might
>be beautiful in my eyes I
>guess, but it's still kind of
>a lie if she says she's
>average and I say “No you're
>not, you're beautiful.” So
>fuck it, there are definitely
>worse lies to say than an
>exaggerated compliment.
Nice. If your wife touches your soul then she'll be beautiful trust me.
you'll notice nuances in the way she does things that'll be magical to you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
>By the way, the line didn't work,
>first off cause she was pissed
>off, second of all she had a
>boyfriend returning with
>drinks. Now it made it much
>easier cause she said “I'm
>actually waiting for my
>boyfriend to come back.” If I
>had been doing indirect game,
>he would have come while I was
>gaming her. I could, and
>have, handled that without a
>problem, but still, more
>efficient.
Here's to guys who are afraid to do direct in certain situations.
>Now to the good ones.. I went
>to Ocean Beach and it took me
>a while to get the balls to
>use it, especially on a mixed
>set. I mean going to a girl
>who's in a group and saying in
>front of her friends that you
>like her and want to get to
>know her? Takes balls. But
>that's why it works. It's
>strikingly direct. No one
>does that. The closest thing
>guys do to that is “Hey,
>what's up,” or a cheesy, “hey
>cutie.” Notice that while
>“Hey cutie” is directly
>showing your intent, it's
>still not 100% direct, since
>your'e giving a compliment,
>like you're trying to flatter
>her, then going into “what's
>up” talk. When you say “I
>like you and want to get to
>know you” you are telling her
>exactly what you want, and not
>hiding anything, explicitely
>or implicitely.
Damn good that you were able to recognize this in your fist couple of attempts.
It's hard to explain in text the reactions and feelings you get when doing
direct, but I'm glad you got it. A lot of guys don't understand this. They
think that the cheezy what's up talk is what direct is. They have no idea.
See what happens when you're 100% direct.
>So for my first Ocean Beach
>set I walked up to a brunette
>talking to a guy and a girl
>and said “I like you, and want
>to get to know you.” You'll
>find that many girls will say
>“what?”want you to repeat what
>you said, like they can't
>believe you just said that.
>So I repeated it and she seemd
>really self conscious and
>embarassed and was like “ok...
>” and shakily held out her
>hand. So I paused and I'm
>thinking “this is awkward” so
>I said “Want to walk over
>there?” And she said
>“Sure...”. I couldn't believe
>she agreed to walk with me
>after just 2 sentences. I
>took her by the hand and led
>her to the next room. We
>leaned against a wall and
>chatted up. It was straight
>rapport talk. It was working
>but a little boring. I was
>running out of things to say
>pretty fast, so I asked for
>her number, but she said she
>didn't have a phone. (She just
>moved here a week ago so it
>could be legit.) So I excused
>myself.
You'll get better at this. When you're congruent to it's fullest she has no
choice but to follow you. Imagine what will happen a couple of weeks or months
down the road. The key is to lead completely naturally. by leading I mean you
do what you want and she'll follow. you grab her hand and gently lead her.
The closest I can come to an explanation is to compare this with a hot older
lady and a young guy. She leads and does everything and he follows because he
wants to.
>The “rejections” (I like to
>call it being blown out), are
>done with padded gloves in
>direct. I had a few say they
>had boyfriends very politely,
>and another girl just say
>“Well, I'm with my friends I
>haven't seen in a long time.”
>Very polite response to “I
>want to get to know you.”
Go figure. You don't get slapped and all of that when going direct.
>
>Anyway, the next set I went up
>to a girl with a hat, and did
>the “I like you and would like
>to get to know you “ line.
>She laughed a bit first and
>made me repeat it and I did.
>Then she said “You mean you
>want me to get out of the way
>so you can use the jukebox?”
>Teasing me, not really in
>rapport. Then I said “Oh
>you're mean, you're one of
>those mean girls that picked
>on me in high school.” Then
>did a fake backturn. She
>laughed and said “So how was
>highschool?” And we started
>getting closer and closer. I
>did a little ping kino and
>tapped her arm a little and
>she said “Don't give me a
>patronizing tap.” And I told
>her “No, that was
>affectionate.” She said “No,
>affectionately you hold it on
>like this.” And she put her
>hand on my shoulder and left
>it there. And I said “Ok, I
>see...” So we kept getting
>closer, and were practically
>kissing from how close our
>mouths were. We were so
>close. In all my years of
>direct game I've never had a
>girl talking this sensually to
>me, especially so soon. I
>didn't want to run out of
>material and stale it and
>didn't want to break the state
>of us talking close, so I
>asked for her number, and she
>started mentioning her
>boyfriend. We were still
>talking seductively, and she
>was so close I started kissing
>her lips. She didn't kiss
>back but didn't pull back at
>all, and started saying “I
>dont' think my boyfriend would
>like that.” I started then
>logically telling her that I'd
>be better than her boyfriend
>(which was a mistake, any
>suggestions here?), but we
>kept staying close and talking
>so close. Eventually she
>pulled back and turned
>diagnally to me. She was
>still as close as I could hope
>a girl would be after talking
>to me for 5 minutes, but it
>was a definite step back in
>the sarge. Well how could it
>not have a step back? I've
>fucked girls where there
>hasn't been a tenth of the
>tension that was going on
>between me and this hat girl.
Nice. You'll get more comfortable at leading and you'll see how things change.
Nice work man. Keep at it and you'll be really good.
Paraiso
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