mASF post by "Thundercat"
posted on: mASF forum: General Discussion newsgroup, February 2, 2005When the seduction community first started, a powerful concept was
introduced into the lexicon as the primary weakness of all "nice guys"
everywhere. In a single word, we were able to explain everything that
nice guys were doing wrong, and why they weren't getting the girls they
wanted.
The concept is that of "Supplication."
Supplication is defined as thus:
supplication
n 1: a prayer asking God's help as part of a religious service [syn:
invocation] 2: a humble request for help from someone in authority [syn:
plea] 3: the act of communicating with a deity (especially as a petition or
in adoration or contrition or thanksgiving); "the priest sank to his knees
in prayer" [syn: prayer]
The theory is that most guys so desperately want to please a girl to get
her to like them, that they give up all power to her and put her in a
position of authority, almost deifying her as an ideal woman who can do
no wrong and that they'd do anything for. What they don't realize is that
it's that very mentality that turns a woman off, because there is no
challenge, attraction, or respect when someone humbles themselves
before you.
Since then, the term "supplication" has become the equivalent of a four-
letter word in the community. It is spewed with revile at anyone who is
viewed as kowtowing to a woman to get her to like them.
It's true that supplication is a bad thing, but the problem that exists with
this term is how exactly to define it. When does one start supplicating
and when does one stop, exactly? Some guys may think they're not
supplicating when they really are, and still others may take "not
supplicating" to the extreme and become overbearing ass-holes that
drive women away despite their intentions.
So what exactly is supplication, and how do we define it?
Basically, the seduction community was founded on this one basic
principal: Thou shalt not supplicate!
This was the rallying cry to nice guys everywhere who were looking for
answers as to why they weren't getting any chicks. The common
mentality was: Don't do stuff for a woman you don't want to do, just in
the hopes of getting her to like you for it. This meant, stop spending a
lot of money on dates, stop giving her gifts for no reason, stop doing
everything she asked of you -- at least until you start getting something
in return.
In other words, "You give me what I want, I'll give you what you want,
but until then, I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do to impress
you."
And the funny thing about this mentality is that it works! Women tend
to respect men who don't supplicate to them, and also find this behavior
more attractive than that of the average "nice guy."
But over the years, the purity of this concept has gotten diluted.
Debates have raged on about what kind of behavior can be considered
"supplication" and what kind of behavior isn't. Some guys have argued
that if you even smile at a woman when you meet her, you're
supplicating. If you ask her out on a date or ask for her phone number,
you're supplicating. If you do ANYTHING she asks of you, you're
supplicating.
Debates like these tend to do more harm than good, because men get
confused on just how they're supposed to act around a woman they
want to get without being stuck with that dreaded "nice guy" label. They
want to know exactly what NOT to do to make sure they aren't
supplicating to a woman and therefore coming off as an Average
Frustrated Chump (AFC) and ruining their chances at getting her.
Let me tell you this: There is no list of behaviors that are considered
"supplicative."
You won't find a clear and defined list anywhere you look. There is no
"right way" and "wrong way" when it comes to supplicative behaviors.
There are general guidelines to help you out, sure. Things like:
--Only date women you're sleeping with
--Never spend more than $40 on a woman until she's banging you.
--Don't let her make all the decisions
And other stuff. But not supplicating to a woman is actually much
simpler than that. Here's the key to knowing when you're being
supplicative and when you aren't:
Make a list of rules you want to live by, and if you break those rules,
you're supplicating.
It's as simple as that.
It takes a bit of work on your part, for sure, but once you set those
boundaries and live by them, supplication is no longer a factor. A man
who lives by his own code strictly and honestly garners respect from
those around him. People always know where they stand with you, so
they know how to behave to please you. In the end, that's all "not
supplicating" really is. Having the woman you desire want to please you.
Here is a list of some of my rules that I live by, to give you an example of
what I will and won't do:
1. Never reward bad behavior by a woman.
2. Always reward behavior I like.
3. Don't spend over $50 on a date, unless I'm in a relationship with her.
4. When possible, make the decisions, but be open to what she wants to
do.
5. Limit gift giving to special occasions, and only when the girl has
earned it.
6. Use only sincere compliments.
7. Never lie to her about my feelings.
8. Require regular sexual activity in a relationship.
9. If she refuses to have sex with me for whatever reason, make it clear
I don't want to be in a relationship with her.
10. If she cheats on me or is unfaithful, break up with her.
11. Once broken up, stay broken up.
Women respond to honesty. If you're honest with who you are and what
you want, they'll fall into place, or move on (in which case you both
saved a lot of time and energy). But remember this: once you set rules,
never break them. EVER. No exceptions. One you break a rule, it
ceases to be a rule and becomes more of a "guideline."
Everyone's rulebook will be different, so tailor your book to what best
suits you. You can agree with other people's rules and adopt them, but
never base your rules on what other people do because you're too lazy
to make up your own.
If you do this, I guarantee you'll never be confused about supplication
again.
Thundercat
Check Out My Seduction Blog: http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com
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