Acronyms used in this article can be looked up on the acronyms page. To get involved in discussions like this, you can join the mASF discussion forum at fastseduction.com/discussion. [posts edited only for spelling corrections and readability]
chariot asks
=============== Urgent Advice Required! =================
Hey PUA Brothers....
I have a bit of a bother which help is really needed...
About 2 months ago I sarged a HB7 which I'd known for years but hadn't tried to PU her untill I come across SS, ASF and DYD. After successfully PU'ing her I decided she was fit material for an LTR.
At the start of our relationship I was semi-AFC... eg buying flowers, grabbing her at every opportunity, etc, etc.
Then I realized If I wanted to keep this babe, I'll have to stop being so fuckin needy. So I did the whole semi-distant thing with her which seemed to be working great... I'd end phone calls/meetings first, etc, etc.
THE PROBLEM: Deep down she is very insecure about herself... and me now becoming distant has made her think - in her words - "You dont love me as much" which could be kinda good as I have the power...BUT Her previous relationship ended for the same reason - he treated her like shit.
THE BIGGER PROBLEM: She rang up crying on the phone to me about it last night and this is where I made a fatal mistake!
I told her that I WAS holding back so I didnt seem clingy. BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT - WRONG MOVE! She said, "Oh my god - I feel cheated now knowing you were holding back." So I say, "It's only because I want you so much... I didn't want you to get bored" Blah blah blah....End of phone call.
And here I am now - my GF has lost trust in me, she said in her own words, "Her barriers are now up" and now Im FUCKED. Or am I?
What should I do boys? - Fire Away...
Ill be talking to her later on today...
PS> I do really want her for a bit longer... I don't have one-itis, she's a mad shag and I know I could just as easily get another one.... But it would be cool to overcome this challenge eh?
Thanks Again...
Chariot
formhandle responds:
>Then I relised If I wanted to
>keep this babe, i'll have to
>stop being so fuckin needy.
Good thinking.
>THE PROBLEM: Deep down she is
>very insecure about herself...
>and me now
>becoming distant has made her
>think - in her words - "You
>dont love me as much"
Is that what you PERCEIVED or what she actually SAID? If she said this, it's just a TEST. Treat it as such.
>Which could be kinda good as I
>have the power...BUT
>Her previous relationship
>ended for the same reason - he
>treated her like shit.
So what - the point of not being needy doesn't mean "treat her like shit". The thing you want to focus on isn't the negatives, it's what was it about that guy that she STAYED with him. Don't worry about why she left him. Chicks will tell you any number of things as to why something ended. It's all BS because almost all chicks, even if they're treated "badly", will still long for and stay with a guy because they get something else significant from him that other guys don't and they have some kind of hope for something better with him in the future. They will dump decent guys left & right in favor of him, until the one day they run into a guy who offers then what he offers them except without the crap. But event that new guy gets slotted into the same context, so you've got to be on your toes at all times.
>THE BIGGER PROBLEM: She rang
>up crying on the phone to me
>about it last night and
>this is where I made a fatal
>mistake!
>
>I told her that I WAS holding
>back so I didnt seem clingy.
Ooooo... bad. Never tell a chick something like that because it sounds like you're manipulating her in order to maintain her interest. She presented the test, you failed it. A better response would have been to simply ask her WHY she is feeling a certain way, then pace her calmly and change her perception.
>BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT - WRONG MOVE!
>She said "Oh my god - I feel
>cheated now knowing you were
>holding back"
Another test.
>So I say "Its only because I
>want you so much... I didnt
>want you to get bored"
>Blah blah blah....End of phone
>call
You've shown her all your cards. You're basically telling her "I started as an AFC because that's who I am. Now I've been pretending the distance thing in order to manipulate your interest. The whole aspect of my being on control of things is now disappeared."
>And here I am now - my GF has
>lost trust in me, she said in
>her own words,
>"Her barriers are now up"
>And now Im FUCKED. Or am I?
GFTOW. You didn't set up proper relationship expectations with her and now apparently have forgotten how to seduce her. The deal is, you've used all this material you gained access to for attracting & seducing ONE chick, a chick you'd been interested in for a long time. You somehow LUCKED out and got her interested, so much so that she became your GF. Then, you doubted yourself and began acting in ways that would eventually cause her to present you with a serious TEST. Since you hadn't applied all this knowledge with too many other women before "succeeding" by getting this ONE GF, you were not able to respond adequately and, most likely, buried yourself. GFTOW.
>What should I do boys? - Fire
>Away...
GFTOW. Then you'll know what you should have done. IF someone were to offer you a golden nugget of advice at this point that, if applied, worked wonders and got you out of this crap, you will be tested AGAIN by her in the future and fail THAT test because you didn't... GFTOW.
>Ill be talking to her later on
>today...
Why?
>PS> I do really want her for a
>bit longer... I dont have
>oneitis, shes a mad shag
>and I know I could just as
>easily get another one....
If that were true, you wouldn't need the advice you're asking for. You're giving yourself away by this very statement.
>But it would be cool to
>overcome this challenge eh?
The way to overcome the challenge is to get over HER. if you can't do that, you've lost before you've begun. Get it?
--
jay <[email protected]>
Fast Seduction 101 - http://www.fastseduction.com/
Class is now in session...
>I told her that I WAS holding
>back so I didnt seem clingy.
>BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT - WRONG MOVE!
>She said "Oh my god - I feel
>cheated now knowing you were
>holding back"
Holy shit dude. As soon as I read this I yelled "OOOOUUUCH!" loud enough to disturb the neighbors. Fuck. Isn't it amazing how offended girls get when you talk about PU being formulaic in any way, it just shows how they have this big fuckin' thing about how it needs to "just happen".
>easily get another one.... But
>it would be cool to
>overcome this challenge eh?
You could *easily* recover tonight by throwing sappy AFC shit at her for hours or bringing flowers...I used to date a super-insecure girl like 6 years ago, I was a *total* AFC and no matter how sad or angry she was, I could butter her up for a few hours and get out of it. I'm sick to my stomach just typing that right now. Don't do it, you'll only sink lower from the perfection that you are striving toward. I agree with formhandle, GFTOW.
Allow me to tell a story about handling a girl (an ex in this case) who has observed changes in me that came from this website:
An LTR and I broke up last January. I did some AFC dating for a while, but nothing was working for me. Discovered this site in the fall and have been studying hard and sarging hard. Anyway, my ex-LTR wants to stay friends (like, genuinely friends, she's weird like that) and I decided to take advantage. First-off, I don't want this chick anymore. After leaving her, I got a unanimous "You could have done better" from my buds. And this site has helped me to recognize just how much shit I took from her that I didn't need to.
However, since she still wants to be friends, I decided to see if I could get her to help me PU. Tried to get her to pivot (she's about an 8) but she wouldn't. Then I'm thinking, hey, I want to look how chicks see me attractive and not how I see me attractive, her fashion sense is way better than mine, and she has a nose for bargains at clothes shopping. So I offered a nice sushi dinner in exchange for helping me shop...no, I wasn't buying dinner for a date, it was $20 in exchange for her helping me for 6 hours, so I was getting the good end of the deal.
She noticed over the course of the day that I was very conversationally aggressive and didn't make soft fuzzy statements like I used to...in other words, I'm no longer the AFC that she knew. We get to the restaurant at the end of the day, and there's this HB7 who my ex knows working as a hostess. They say hello to each other and when we sit down, the conversation goes:
AOH: Whose that?
ex: My friend HB7.
AOH: How do you know her?
ex: from blah blah blah
AOH: Is she single?
ex: You know, I'm really getting tired of this.
AOH: What?
ex: These things you keep saying.
AOH: I don't know what you're talking about.
ex: You keep saying outrageous things to me, just for shock value.
AOH (calmly): No, I don't. I asked if she is single. you and I are broken up and you're
dating other guys, so I don't see what the problem is.
About this time, HB7 comes to the table.
HB7: Hey AOH's ex, how are you?
ex: (phony smile, she was always good at performing for others while angry with me): Oh,
fine. How are you?
chicks: blah blah blah blah blah
ex: Are you still dating [some guy's name]?
HB7: No, we broke up about a year ago. We just weren't compatible.
I was *really* tempted to sarge HB7 at this point but with the situation as it was, it was likely that there would be a major scene in the restaurant, which I wanted to avoid (she was prone to shit like this)
(HB7 leaves table)
ex: Are you happy now? Do you want me to go get her number for you?
AOH (dead serious voice): I'm getting sick of this, and I'm not going to put up with it
anymore. I offered you dinner as a way of saying thanks for helping me find some clothes,
and your reply is to bitch at me for saying things that aren't the least bit out of line.
If you have insecurities about me dating other people A YEAR AFTER we broke up, you need
to deal with those on your own. But if you can't, I'll give you your twenty bucks and you
can go have dinner alone.
A PUA's words coming out of my mouth. I delivered it well and to tell the truth, I was a bit amazed to hear myself saying some of those things. In my young journey as an RAFC this was the first time I had to use any of the nuclear stuff from the "troubleshooting" section.
But holy fuck, did it ever work! After I said this, the bitch did a complete and total 180. She immediately apologized to me for her behavior and apologized probably 5 more times throughout dinner. The whole time I'm thinking, "If only I had found ASF and grown some nads sooner!!"
It reminds me of something TylerDurden posted a few days ago, about the importance of knowing PU even if you're going for LTRs...he posted in reference to your chick getting stolen by PUAs, and mine shows another good reason: Being an AFC dooms you to putting up with a lot of shit.
If you're going to be a PUA, you have to go all the way. It has to change who you ARE, not just how you act. You can't back down to the AFC level, ever again, so be strong and resist the urge to do it tonight.
aceofhearts
___________________________________________________
Making a mistake once can be good.
Making a mistake twice is completely unforgivable.
