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A crucial topic, but sadly one that is almost impossible to share secrets about via text. It is one of those things that you simply have to learn on your own, find your own style with, and practice with.
Non Verbal communication is the reason I do well. Truth be told, a lot of classical aspects of my game are lacking - logistics, kino and C&F being among my weakest points. That doesn't matter, though, because when you can communicate well non verbally, anything rough or unskilled in your toolset simply makes the whole thing seem more natural, and makes your strong points more accented and attractive. This is because - non verbal communication is a whole different language, and it is one spoken by every girl and by very few men.
The only men that ever use non-verbal well are those that have been getting laid without trying since a very young age - comfort in this area is a sign that you are very practiced with women, and again as I said above, roughnesses or low skill levels in other parts of game simply accentuate the assumed value that comes with that comfort level. I have seen men pick their nose in a one-on-one setting and not lose one step, because they were so comfortable that it was obvious to anyone watching that many women had looked beyond the nose picking in the past.
The thing about nonverbal is that it is primarily a woman's language, as mentioned above. This is because, as we all know, women are finely tuned to be able to perceive character traits early, and as such they are keenly aware of the way the man's self-perception and social status affect his body language». Way moreso than the man himself is aware. Along with this social status and pecking order is a feeling of "places you're allowed to go", and by that I mean directions you are allowed to look, proximities to people you are allowed to invade, and, most importantly, communications you are allowed to send.
Remember that crippling fear you had as an AFC? That was not simply imagined by you, that was programmed into you - by your social status. You didn't feel comfortable approaching hot women, you may even have felt a shade of guilt at the prospect - you simply you didnt belong talking to them. This is a very real sensation, one that is so important to our reproductive patterns as a species that vast measures are taken to instill it, such as any type of competition. But anyway.
Well, the opposite is true at the opposite end. Ever woken up next to a beautiful women, only to find that the day was filled with IOIs and hints from other girls? That is because you now feel a lot freer, there is a lot more space in your world : places you can look unabashedly, counters and desks you can lean on comfortably, and more importantly, signals you can send with your eyes and your facial expressions. You now FEEL entitled to these things, and your world becomes larger.
And of course, as always, you have no idea that any of it is happening. But women do.
And I do. I have practiced these things since my very first days on mASF, once I allowed myself to think logically and strategically about meeting and talking to women.
There are several basic tricks I use, and build on, and I encourage you to experiment with these and find your own. Specifics, and maybe even entire strategies, will be different from person to person, depending on your overall energy level, your physical attractiveness, and your social status. Practice, and find your own.
The important thing to remember with all of these is that COMMUNICATION is key. Passive body language» - the way you hold yourself - will only get you so far. The rest of the way has to be active, as in initiated by you, in her direction, for the purposes of communicating something.
The first thing you'll want to practice is your leaning, and this is one of the few things I HAVE read about before. For example, leaning in intently can say "I am interested in what you are saying now, continue", leaning to the side can say "hmm... I am examining you" and leaning back can say "I am satisfied, lets relax now". And many other things depending on the convo.
Leaning in right off the bat, with your head off to the side looking around, says "listen closely - what I am about to tell you is important and somewhat secretive". This one is fun to open with, with some initial EC and getting right in close so that she has to notice, because she has no choice but to listen intently to what you are telling her - and when it turns out to be something mildly stupid and funny, it is made all the more funny by the fact that she was expecting something important. And again, the fact that you were able to communicate nonverbally demonstrates that the world you live in is very open, and you are not afraid of addressing her with a degree of familiarity.
A more important, more powerful and also more diverse tool is facial expressions, and with this one I am afraid there is not a lot of descriptions I can give that will be all that helpful because facial expressions are so complex and subtle. I will attempt to describe some of the basics, but with this you will really have to practice.
There are of course many sub-aspects of this very versatile tool. First, there is the open itself - if you ever find yourself in an EC lock with a girl, let it linger. Don't LOCK ON, or anything, just, lazily hold it there. First of all what that is saying is "oh.. I see you". This can be followed up in many ways, such as slowly smiling to say "haha, we are sharing an intense moment!" or by widening your eyes briefly to say "wow, we would get along great together", or literally anything else you could imagine to communicate. Including flicking your head back to say "come here", or sticking out your tongue, or anything. The point is the COMMUNICATION - you are unabashedly, unhesitatingly communicating DIRECTLY and intimately to her and only her, and that is very powerful.
During a conversation, a lot can be said with facial expression. You can control the topic silently by literally making bad faces when you don't like where its going and making good faces when you do. You can communicate limitless amounts of things simply by pointing your eyes at different places in the room while she is talking, including her face, her chin, her tits, the ceiling (during intense thought, validating the topic or at least spurring it on) or on the other side, the wall behind her or some other girl. All without saying a word, and without her even really being concious about what is happening.
Also during a conversation, you can communicate replies to a lot of things she says through facial expression, completely silently. This is pretty intuitive stuff, and you'll be surprised not only at how easy it is and how much you are already capable of it once you simply tell yourself to do it instead of opening your mouth, but also at how incredible powerful it is. It is putting the onus entirely on her to maintain a satisfactory level of conversation, again without her even realizing it. She becomes someone that is talking to YOU, to please YOU, to receive YOUR validation, and this just leads itself to other aspects of your relationship very naturally.
And the last topic I will mention, because it is brief and fun, is hand gestures. As you can easily picture, hand gestures can compliment ANY non verbal communication simply by accenting the important part. Such as, if you are replying in a conversation by choosing to put on a questioning face, as if you were saying "Huh?" (which is great, it leads to them explaining themselves, evaluating themselves and it spurs them on a lot, and their efforts can later be validated by a satisfied or understanding face), you could put your finger over your mouth to accent the fact that you are confused. And many other such things.
You can also, however, point, and this is useful in a lot of circumstances. Pointing RIGHT AT the person you are speaking with. This can be done in agreement to something they are saying, this can be done with a bemused smile as a response to a shit test "look at you, trying to shit test me", this can be done to initiate convo (making them think "what?" and then stopping to find out) or in a lot of other circumstances. In a lot of cases it can be cheeky and fun.
Now, if you are sharp you will notice that so far I have only mentioned ONE WAY communication - from you to her. Of course, this is only one side of NVC (non verbal communication), the other side being WHEN SHE COMMUNICATES BACK. These times are some of the most intense, exhilerating and intimate moments you can share with someone, be it someone you haven't yet said a word to or someone you've known forever. The reason I haven't spent any time explaining this side is that IT IS COMPLETELY UNPREDICTABLE - it depends entirely on the woman. And, as you can guess, new situations can be handled in new ways. It is important to remember, though, that these will not happen until you begin intiating non verbal communication. There has to be a link there for her to communicate through, so it is more important to simply get comfortable using NVC than it is trying to figure out what to do when she starts communicating back. And, of course, by the time you start getting INCOMING NVC, you'll already have learned the language.. and it'll be no sweat.
Two way NVC is probably the sweetest thing you can experience aside from physical contact. Not only is it exhilerating and always enjoyable to both parties involved (to the point that it often results in uncontrollable giggling or snickering by both parties), but it is also what makes 10 minute lays possible. It is a level of intimacy normally only seen between long term lovers, yet with you it just happens naturally.. coincidence? No - you are a natural born lover, of course.
Anyway, I hope you see that there are literally thousands of ways you can use non verbal communication, and it really is important that you learn them on your own and develop your own quiver. Become comfortable with a few, and you'll find your whole game expanding and improving and becoming less technique oriented.
There are a few key points I will leave you with.
-Shutting up = getting comfortable.
-Silent communication is often much more clear, and much more powerful than verbal communication. You can often say a lot more with nonverbals than you could with verbals.
-Women LOVE communicating in this way, and once you become able to speak this language they will want to speak it with you all the time.
-Practice makes perfect, and you can practice on everyone: family, friends, coworkers, etc, because this is not specific to picking up. It is simply a different language.
-It is way easier than you think! It's just scary at first.
-Using non verbals demonstrates your absolute comfort and familiarity with the female gender: after all, it is a woman's language.
-There is ZERO risk in NVC, because you haven't actually said a word. Yet, you are able to communicate a large amount of things.
