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The gym is a gold mine for HBs! It's full of women who take care of themselves and have high social value. Most of them are half naked, so you get a good view of their body up front. Plus, unlike nightclubs, there is actually lighting so you can see what they look like! And you are not battling beer goggles (hopefully)!!
A lot of PUAs stay away from sarging at the gym for a number of reasons. Common deterents, fears, and SPs I have about in previous posts on gym sarging are:
1. Awkwardness for the rest of your membership if it goes badly.
2. Pre-rejection (opposite of pre-selection) to all other HB witnesses at the gym that day.
3. Feeling too grose and sweaty to sarge.
4. Coming off as rude by interupting her workout.
5. Her assuming you are hitting on just by talking to her even if you are not!
6. Most girls wear headphones.
I can guarentee you, there are ways around all of these limitations.
There have been a number of suggestions and successful field reports here and on other boards. Definitely some good advice in previous posts and proof that sarging successfully at the gym is possible. However, I have tried just about everything with little success until recently. Over the years I have had the advantage of switching gyms every year or two, so I have been able to try some weird stuff without much akwardness endured later on. After a rough stretch, I have finally put together enough material to do well.
99% of guys at the gym approach by trying to show the HB how to do an exercise or change their form. The advantage to this approach is teaching is a DHV in itself, so immediately you are demonstrating value. This works for certain HBs, especially girls that are new to weight training. It has worked a few times for me, but it does little to set me apart from the AFCs and it definitely does not work for HBs that actually know their way around the gym.
My way around that is to understand and acknowledge that she gets approached by meat-heads all the time. Show her that you understand her perspective by saying: 'Hey the last thing I want to be like is one of those guys trying to pick up girls by showing them how to do an exercise, but let me show you something my friend showed me to make that exercise a little more effective.' Another tactic is to mockingly show her an exercise as if you are making fun of the guys that do that. Take an overly macho pose and use a fake-sounding low voice so she knows that you are not being serious. After showing her the exercise, say something like 'So is there where I go for the phone number?' Then crack a smile. That opens up for questions like: 'So how often does that happen to you?' OR 'What is the weakest line a guy has used on you in the gym?'
With fit girls, who are my normal targets, I have had the most success taking the exact opposite approach to teaching her. It's so simple and works almost every time. There are limitations, but this technique has been the best of all I have tried. I ask HER to teach ME something. You may think it is AFC or whatever, but this has the same effect as an opinion opener. I start by rooting the opener to show her that I know about the subject and I am just looking for her to teach me something new. This is field-tested and works more often than not for me. As long as you keep a strong frame and body language», you will communicate all the right things. For example:
Notice a girl that is wearing varsity athletic gear or just looks like an athlete/dancer (based on her physique or the exercises she is doing). I've done this successfully 15-20 times now. Last month, I met a track girl and it went something like this...
Me: Hey are you on the track team by any chance?
HB: Yes.
Me: Awesome. Listen, I am in a rush today, so I need to finish up my workout soon. But I have been trying for the longest time to find some good plyometrics to develop my fast twitch fibres and quickness. Did your coach or trainer give you any exercises that you could show me quickly?
HB: Yeah for sure.
She went on to show the exercise. After the exercise demonstration, I will usually give a backhanded compliment or a compliment with a soft neg/release. Example:
Me: Wow. Fit and smart. You are like every woman's fantasy. A jock with brains... except for the whole being a woman thing [smile]. That's awesome. I am going to try that out for sure. I have to get back to my workout. Thanks. I'll see you around.
The next day I saw her, I thanked her and got her name. Usually, I tell an amusing story about the exercise(s), the progress I've made, and maybe some playful negs. Might ask a rapport-building question or two. Example:
Me: Hey, I tried that exercise you showed me the other day. It hurt like hell the next day and I have gotten zero results so far. Are you sure you are on the track team?
HB (laughing): Yes.
Me: I'm only kidding. It's actually a cool exercise. You know what I discovered? Have you ever tried it like this...
[Then I demonstrate some way of modifying the exercise to work other muscle groups. Ideally, I work in some kino by touching the body part that my modified exercise works] --> NOW YOU ARE TEACHING HER!
NOTE to newbies: Be sure to know your stuff at the gym so the modification actually makes sense!
HB: No, I haven't tried that
Me: You're welcome. Figured I owed you one... sorry what's your name?
HB: Kim
Me: Alright, Kim, have a good workout.
HB: Thanks. You too.
Ended the thread, went back to my workout and reopened later taking an interest in her this time:
Me: So what are your events?
HB: 200 and 400 meters.
Me: Wow. I ran those a bit in high school. It always amazed me how long 400 meters felt, especially after running 100s or 200s. It literally felt like the race was never going to end! I've gotta give you some props for that. [fist pump]
HB: Yeah, it's a tough event for sure.
NOTE: I am friends with and have gamed enough track athletes that I know a bit about this sport, and that definitely helps!
Me: Hey, did you hear about that amputee sprinter from South Africa that is trying to qualify for the regular olympics?
HB: No
Me: He's amazing. He's running a 10.9 100!... etc
NOTE: True story and very interesting. If possible, mention a cool story that's in the news about her sport. Very nice touch for adding some rapport.
Nice compliment/disqualifier to use:
'You seem like you have a lot going for you. If I wasn't so against meeting women at the gym, I have probably asked for your number by now.'
The next few approaches I will normally mix up casual 'hello's with a bit of DHVs, rapport, and qualifying. I also chat other HBs regularly at the gym for some preselection effect. Usually, after 15 to 30 min of total elasped sarging, I will get a day 2 or number close.
Same technique works for:
1. Dancers -> ask about good stretches for your back or something
2. Runners -> ask about interval training, or time goal vs. distance goal training
3. Just about any other athletic girl. Just think of a type of training that they do that you might be interested in learning.
If you are not sure what she is training for, just make a guess. If you are wrong, just tell her that she really looks serious about her fitness and ask her something about her program anyways.
Other types of gym openers that work:
1. Compliments (eg., This is going to break my rule of not meeting women at the gym, but I could not help but notice you. I am completely captivated by you and I just had to ask if you were blessed with amazing fitness genes or if you worked really hard to look as good as you do.)
2. Funny statements/questions (eg., Anchorman quote: '1001, 1002, 1003. Oh it burns! It's a deep burn. So deep. Oh I can bearly lift my right arm cuz I did so many. I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand. Tuesdays arms and back. You have your ubulous muscle, which attaches to your upper dorsimus. It's boring but it's my life.')
3. Ambiguous statments (like backhanded compliments)
4. Questions (eg., asking to work in on a machine)
5. Giving advice (see above)
6. Asking advice/opinion (see above)
7. Role-playing and games (eg., Asking girls on treadmills: 'Hey, wanna race?'. Credit: FratGuy 03/11/07)
8. Quick hook and introduction (eg., Point to a sweat spot on a machine and say 'Wow, I can't believe there are still people that don't clean the machine after using it.' Then clean it and say: 'You know I don't think I have met you yet. What's your name?')
9. Joking insults/teasing (eg., telling a REALLY fit girl she needs to work harder)
10. Offering AI's (eg., 'That's a good colour for you.' - refering to her shirt)
Tips for girls with headphones:
- tap her and open normally or ask:
PUA: Hey, do those headphones work?
HB: Yeah, why?
PUA: No I mean do they keep guys from talking to you in the gym? Because a lot of women have been hitting on me lately, I think I might have to try those out.
(credit: Antman)
Advice for reframing your beliefs for gym sarges or any potentially awkward situation (credit: Mike)
In situations like this that involve a potentially awkward approach, think to yourself:
1. Will she think this is awkward? Yes.
2. Will this awkwardness cause her to feel nervous and maybe a bit intimidated? Yes.
3. Is her being in a position of nervousness a situation I can capitalize on? Yes.
Guidelines of sarging at the gym:
1. Smell your best. Don't be stinky. Seems simple enough, but how often have you seen a dude at the gym that smells like a moldy jockstrap? It's because he can't smell himself! Neither can you. No one can! So double check every now and then.
2. Look your best. Don't wear wife-beater tank tops... especially if they have stains! Wearing colour-coordinated gear helps DHV on its own.
3. Wait for right time. Don't sarge a woman in the middle of an exercise or while she is being instructed by a personal trainer. The best situations are stretching, on way out, on treadmills, in between sets, or by the water fountain.
4. Be social with everyone around the gym. Make friends with women, men, and staff. This provides some pre-selection and demonstrates that it is normal for you to talk to people. Open guys by asking for a spot, ask about an exercise, joke about the weight he's using when he is lifting a huge amount 'light day, huh?'... give him a head nod or say 'what's up?' next time you see him.
5. The basic principles of the approaching apply to gym approaches (smile, non-direct angle of shoulders, body rocking, false time constraint, etc)
6. Make the false time constraint a point of emphasis. Be sure to tell her you are in rush to back to your workout. Wearing a stopwatch around your neck and glacing at it during the convo is a great non-verbal time-constraint. It's also great for timing your rest in between sets. (Credit: rockdon)
7. Use some kino in your routines, but avoid touching with body parts that are overly sweaty, like your palms. Fist pumps and touching over the clothing (rather than skin to skin) work well.
8. Do the sarge in pieces. Open and approach on day 1 to gain familiarity. Focus on boosting value and rapport in small doses each day after that.
That's it. Enjoy!
VenusianArtist
