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Original discussion thread: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=77572&fid=16&FirstTopic=90&LastTopic=119
Something I read long time ago and found a link to when googled for it.
http://www.asfgold.com/seduction/offtopic/humor/how-2-get-laid-no-nonsense-guide
DISCLAIMER: THIS GUIDE WILL NOT BRING YOU LOVE, HAPPINESS OR SATISFACTION. IT WILL HOWEVER BRING YOU SEX.
SECTION 1
1. A young guy (16-30)?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then this guide will definitely help you. If you answered yes to ALL of them, then this guide should be your KORAN for getting laid.
Number one: you are a young guy.
Now, number 2: you don't have very much luck with women. Well, guess what: nobody cares! and neither should you. Get it out of your mind...from now on, you’re fucking Marlon Brando. You can have any woman you want whenever you want, where ever you want, for as long as you want, as many times as you want........you get the picture. The point is: DONT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF.
Now for the REALLY important stuff: If you have any porn-sites open at the moment, SHUT THEM DOWN! And shut down any POPUPS that come up when you close those windows.
Back in my top-shelf days I came across a website that claimed to be a religious site. Well, if your religion was naked teenage girls prancing around fields, then this site was the BIBLE. Here's a link to the naked pictures: http://www.holynature.ru (DONT CLICK ON THIS LINK IF YOU EVER WANT 2 GET LAID.) If you resisted the temptation of clicking on that link, then good, you're on the right track. The next thing to do is, if you’re using Internet Explorer, go to the Tools menu and click "Internet Options". Now delete all your offline content and clear the history. The next thing to do is delete any porno pictures / movies / links you may have on your hard drive. Throw away any porno mags or pictures you have. Even better: burn them. This may seem excessive but trust me, its not. It’s totally necessary if you want to get a sex-life. Is all the porn gone? If so, then you may proceed to the next section.
SECTION 2
Q&A
Q: Can't I just look at porn but not masturbate?
Q: Can’t I just masturbate but not look at porn?
Q: I slipped up! I just had a wank - what now?
Q: I just can't do it! The temptation is too great
Q: I didn’t touch my cock for 10 days then I went out and got totally hammered. The next morning I woke up next to the fattest, ugliest bitch on the face of this earth???
Q: Strange things are starting to happen: During the day, I seem to feel like I’m in a dream, or on some drug or something...and I am starting conversations with women without even realizing it...the nervousness I used to feel doesn't seem to be there any more...I feel really intense, almost crazy....
Q: I haven't wanked in over 6 years and I still haven’t even got as much as a touch....your plan doesn't work
That’s about it really. I would say "good luck" except luck has absolutely nothing to do with it. The simple truth is that everything in this short document is all you need to know. If you follow the instructions exactly as I’ve given them here then I guarantee you’ll get more sex than a frog. The 2 most important things are the 2 golden rules. You MUST obey them exactly. In fact, I think they’re so important, I'll say them again:
1. NEVER, EVER EVEN TRY TO SEE PORN
and remember... He who hesitates masturbates!!!
NOTE: You may wonder why I haven’t given any advice about talking to girls, body language», or "pick-up" techniques... The reason for this is because it’s all in the mind- you have to get rid of your sad, useless habit then everything else will fall into place itself. Talking to girls will not be a problem once you’re free of your pornobating habit. Getting laid will no longer be a problem.
The first thing I want to say is: who should read this document? Well, if you fit into the following categories, then there’s a good chance there is some useful reading here for you:
Are you.....
2. Somebody who doesn't have much luck with women?
3. Somebody who looks at porn a lot?
4. Somebody who masturbates a lot?
5. Somebody who REALLY wants a shag?
Ok, now let’s go through criteria 1 through 6 individually.
The closer you are to the age 19, the better. This means your horny most of the day and you’re at your sexual peek physically. If you’re younger than 19, even better. If you’re older, don’t worry - you still have plenty left in you.
If, however, you’re 30 or over, I’m afraid your loins are rapidly deteriorating and you better start praying. Only kidding .
The fact is: age is not terribly important in dictating whether you’ll get laid or not.
Turn your stupid sorrow into ANGER! VIGOUR! - I'll show you how to do this later on.
And while you’re at it, shut down any other sites you may have open.
This is the ONLY one you should be reading right now. It requires your 100% concentration. Here’s the bittersweet truth: only SAD GEEKS look at porn sites. It has been said that men turn to porn because of a lack of satisfaction in their sex-lives. Well, not many people know this, but the opposite is true as well: Men's sex lives are being destroyed because of their porno habits. If you suddenly find yourself becoming tired or bored or suddenly dis-interested as you read these words, then PLEASE: I urge you to fight it and have faith and keep reading.... If that did happen just now, it’s important to understand what’s causing these phenomena: your sub-conscious mind. Don't underestimate the power of your sub-conscious mind. It's your subconscious mind that’s prevented you from getting laid all these years - but its also what will get you laid many times in the coming (and I do mean coming!!) years. The problem however with the subconscious is that it has all the wrong programming. The subconscious doesn’t respond to verbal orders. So you can't change it by "telling yourself" to do things. The sub-conscious does, however, respond very well to conditioning. Now, back to the thorny topic of PORN.
Ok, if you’re reading this then that means you have no porn anymore. Good. Now, this may come as bad news to you but if you want to even stand a chance of getting laid you have to totally eliminate all your porno habits. Forever. Not only that, you have to stop masturbating. Do a search on Google or Yahoo on the word "masturbation" and you'll get zillions of links to Christian sites that are against masturbation, saying its evil, or whatever. Fuck that. I'm not here to talk about morals or religion or Jesus or any of that shit. I’m here to tell you how to turn yourself from a jacking porno junkie into a sex robot.
You like the sound of that.
I know you think this is way too excessive. Its not. This all depends on your will-power, and believe me, you WILL fall down the first few times. The important thing is: NEVER GIVE UP and you WILL succeed.
How many times have you been in a bar or night club, chatting to a girl who is obviously attracted to you but for some reason, the furthest you get is a kiss on the cheek if you’re lucky?
The day after a near-miss like this is the critical time where your subconscious sinks lower, and you jack off. It’s at times like this you MUST NOT masturbate.
You may have a boner the size of the empire state building.
The important thing to remember is: CONTROL YOUR HANDS.
It’s your hands that type the address of that dirty website into your browser.
It’s your hands that reach up to the top-shelf.
It’s your hands that make contact with your dick and wank it into ejaculation.
So for a fuck's sake: CONTROL YOUR HANDS!
Now for some theory. How can not wanking or looking at porn increase your chances of getting sex? Personally I think this is so insanely obvious that it’s absurd. But I'll tell you anyway. Remember: this information has never been given out on the net before. When you masturbate you're fooling your body (including your subconscious) into thinking its having sex! Of course, your thinking mind KNOWS this is not true, because, among other things, it’s about a million times more intelligent than your subconscious mind. But, alas, the subconscious has been practicing these habits for so long it doesn't know of anything else. What YOU have to do is CONDITION your subconscious mind. You have to starve it of what it thinks is sex, and only let it get real sex.
Trust me on this one.
I’m writing this guide from personal experience - it’s worked for me - I simply want to spread this valuable knowledge for free.
It will be very difficult at first to quit pornobating. I know it was for me-it took me several months. But here’s how to do it as quickly and painlessly as possible: The first thing you need is something very simple: A pen and a piece of paper. You'll also need a watch. Keep these items in your bedroom in the place where you used to stash your porn. Now, DONT keep telling yourself "Ill never look at porn again", or "Ill never masturbate" or "I can’t wank" - this is a complete waste of time because your subconscious cant be conditioned by you telling it these things. The only thing that will get your sub-conscious to change is depravation of basic animalistic pleasure namely
1) Viewing pictures/movies of naked women
2) Masturbating.
Your subconscious will soon realize whose boss. Now, why did I ask you to keep a pen and piece of paper? Here’s why: The first few weeks WILL be difficult, and unless you’re Mr. Self-torture you'll fall down a few times. This is normal. But: any time you do slip up and blow your wad (unless it’s into a pretty girl's mouth of course), you must record the time and date of your ejac right after it occurred. So simply write it on the sheet of paper. The next time it happens, do the same thing - under the previous entry. By doing this you can keep track of your progress. If you really want to get laid, and unless you're a total goof, you should find that as time goes on, the entries become less and less frequent. Continue your everyday life as normal. Sometimes all you'll be able to think of is having a toss. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO RESIST THE TEMPTATION.
The 2 golden rules for achieving this are:
1. NEVER, EVER EVEN TRY TO SEE PORN
2. ONLY TOUCH YOUR PENIS WHEN YOURE HAVING A PISS
Understand? I cannot stress enough the importance of these 2 golden rules. They really are golden. Now, some important points: You will not, when you do start getting laid, feel any better that you do now. In fact you might feel worse.
Sorry, but I think this may be the price for being a stud. After you do get laid the first time, believe it or not, it will be the time when you've NEVER WANTED A WANK MORE THAN EVER! - If you can resist the temptation after this, then you’re almost home and dry, your subconscious will be changed if you can quit pornobating for good.
Q: How long will it take before I get a shag?
A: On average, if you haven’t pornobated for around 7 days, there’s a good chance that if you go out to a nightclub and have a few beers, you will get very far with a girl, perhaps get a blowjob, maybe even sex. It’s a hit-and-miss issue depending on the girl. The important thing to remember is: No matter how far you get, if you don’t get a girl to make you cum, then its better luck next time!!
For a fuck's sake though: DONT FUCK YOURSELF!
A: No. This will just cause pain and frustration because the act of looking at porn simply makes you want to masturbate. But you can't masturbate. So avoid this vicious cycle by never looking at porn. Do something useful instead. Your mind will play tricks on you, you may feel totally un-horny, and say "I could look at all the porn in the world now and not get turned on" - Don’t let your subconscious win you over this way. Remember: your subconscious has full control of your emotions, but your thinking mind, ultimately, has control over everything.
A: NO!!!!!!.
A: Don't worry. If this happened after a significant number of days of abstaining (perhaps 4 or more), you will instantly want to do it again. Just don't. And remember to enter EVERY wank you have into your log.
A: Nobody said it was going to be easy
A: Don’t worry, the physical quality of the women will improve with time. Don’t get too drunk either. Beer goggles can be very powerful!
A: Congrats! - Its working
A: you're gay
2. ONLY TOUCH YOUR PENIS WHEN YOURE HAVING A PISS
