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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=82573&fid=23
There are many escalation windows. Not just one BIG one where you either kiss her or pussy out. Escalation (moving the interaction forward) is ATTRACTIVE. Missing escalation windows (stalling or moving the interaction backwards) is UNATTRACTIVE. This post deals with the windows in the first 15 min.
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Story: Alison is good looking, fun and smart. There are 100 guys at the bar who would ALL like to be with her.
1. Give her an opportunity to meet you
The Window: 3 seconds
When you notice her you have a 3 second window to approach her. Do not give your mind time to form opinions about her. Starting a conversation is an escalation. Escalation is attractive. It's attractive because it shows confidence. How can you be seen as less confident for having the balls to start a conversation. You can't.
Opening is the SMALLEST escalation window. It happens in the blink of an eye. Miss it and you make yourself less attractive. Your job just got much harder. Plus she might leave and walk out of your life forever. Who knows what could have been?
Note: Out of the 100 guys at the bar only 1/10 had the balls to approach Alison. The rest just circled around her or checked out her ass. One guy thought about approaching but figured "let me have one more beer first". You are in the top 10%. She has only 10 guys to choose from tonight.
2. Flirt with her
The Window: 1st minute
So you started a conversation with her. Good job. Now, in the first minute you MUST make yourself a sexual option by flirting with her in some way. Flirting is an escalation of the VIBE. Escalation is attractive. Even breaking rapport using negs or DQ is a form of flirting.
There are many ways to flirt; playful teasing, banter, C&F, role playing, being interesting (stories, routines), and touching her in a social way (ie. tease & bump).
Miss this small window of opportunity (it happens fast) and you will get slotted in with all the other BORING, logical guys she can't remember. The guys who talked about what they do for work and asked her where she's from. The guys who were scared to break rapport and kissed her ass (NO TENSION). She wanted to flirt and you let her down. There is no SPARK between you. Best case scenario, welcome to the friend zone. Good luck changing this frame.
Note: Out of the 10 guys who approached Alison half of them were boring and asked her typical questions. She politley excused herself and went to the bathroom. The other 5 guys playfully teased her, were interesting and enthusiastic. Something was different about them. She gave these 5 guys a chance.
3. Screening Frame
The Window: first 3 minutes
OK, you opened her and flirted a bit. Nice! Within the first 3 minutes you should turn the tables and be qualifying/screening her. Stop talking (trying) so much and ask her questions from a screening not supplicating frame. As an added bonus this helps you EV and build a connection.
Qualifying and screening SUBTLY changes the frame of the interaction from - you are trying to impress her - to she needs to impress you. Hmm, I'm not sure about you? This subtle change in CONTEXT is an escalation. Escalation is attractive. It's attractive because guys who screen women are seen as selectors. Guys who will take anything are LOSERS.
No matter how good your teasing game is, teasing is still talking and whoever is talking is the one qualifying themselves.
Talking will always be seen by her as you are TRYING to impress her. Stop Trying. Move the interaction forward by having her do the talking, while you screen her (non-verbally) and reward her with touch when she says/does something to impress you.
Although in the screening phase she is doing a majority of the talking you still want to lead the conversation. Don't have that "I'm so happy to be here look". In fact, this would be a good time to use your SEDUCTIVE look. You shouldn't be listening to her problems about her jerk x-bf. Cut bad threads and stay on topic: her being good enough for you.
Note: Out of the 5 remaining guys, 2 more blew it because they were AFRAID to stop talking/entertaining and didn't ask Alison anything about herself (qualify/screen). They were just happy to be there. Alison got the feeling these guys just take anything they can get and felt no connection with them. She laughed at their stories and was entertained by their antics before leaving to "dance"
4. Turn Vibe from Social to Seductive
The Window: asap, 5 minutes max
Starting a conversation, teasing, and qualifying/screening are good but they all involve WORDS, which is more social than seductive.
Turning the vibe from social to seductive is an escalation. Escalation is attractive. It's attractive because it shows confidence and creates TENSION. How could you be seen as less confident for having the balls to turn the vibe seductive and tolerating the tension. You can't.
You want to turn the vibe seductive asap. As you become more advanced you will be able to do this quicker and in some cases even start seductive.
If you hit 5 minutes and you haven't turned the vibe seductive in at least some small way (EC, Relaxed BL, Sleepy eyes, Talking Less/Slower, Face Flirting) you risk becoming the clown. The never serious guy. The guy who is pretending to be cool/disinterested but is really just scared to escalate.
IOW, you reach the social point of NO return. The social point of NO return is a horrible place where guys live out the remainder of their lives sending C&F text messages and inviting women to parties through Facebook.
Note: There were 3 guys left but another one is gone because he couldn't deal with the sexual TENSION that was starting to build. He always looked away first when holding EC with Alison and jerked his hand away quickly when it brushed against hers. To compensate he talked more, told more stories, and teased her again. He got her number and is currently looking for a MONEY C&F text in the PUA archives.
5: Make a Verbal Statement of Interest
The Window: asap, 10 min max
Making a verbal SOI is an escalation. Escalation is attractive. It's attractive because it shows confidence and creates TENSION.
There are countless verbal SOI's. It can be as simple as saying I've enjoyed talking to you and asking for her number. Bonus points for SOI's that create SERIOUS tension. Think Lifeguards "I'm Mr. Nasty". LOL
- It's rare to find a beautiful woman with a good personality
Note: There are two guys left and both gave Alison a SOI. Guy 1 pointed out something silly she was doing and said "you're lucky you are cute or I'd be out of here". Guy 1 is really funny and always plays it safe. He's not 100% sure if Alison likes him so he wanted to make sure he remains a challenge. He will write a post this week on how giving women compliments gives away your POWER.
Guy 2 tells her "You and I... we are going to be Lovers" (JWS) while holding seductive EC
6. Escalate Physically
If you're game is good you will definitely get a window to escalate physically within the first 15 minutes. You want to show that you aren't all talk, you are about action. Some guys can miss this window and be fine but for others missing this window = Instant Death.
- Getting closer
Note: Out of nowhere, Guy 1 LUNGES at Alison to kiss her and she turns away. The look on his face is complete dejection. "Are you mad?" Alison says. "No... why would I be mad" Guy 1 says while pouting and turning red.
Guy 2 is sitting very close to Alison and gazing at her eyes/lips. There is complete silence. Tension is at it's highest point. He kisses her quickly and stops first. "That's all you get for now". You are 1 out of 100 guys at the bar. You are in top 1%. You are that GUY!
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Escalation Window Review: Don't miss them!
3 seconds: approach or pussy out?
- let's grab a spot where it's easier to talk
- you seem like you might be fun, we should probably exchange numbers
- I've enjoyed talking with you, I want to see you again
- Kino Testing
- Teasing her with an almost kiss, or kissing her quickly (stop first)
1st min: flirt or average friendly convo?
3 min: screening frame or continue to entertain?
5 min: stay social or go seductive?
10 min: jokey compliment or Tension SOI
15 min: escalate physically
