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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=82617&fid=8
For a few years now I have been experimenting with the idea that people can act different ways around different people. Let me start from the beginning. It always bothered me when people would be completely nice to everyone else and treat me like garbage. I never understood why or knew what i was doing wrong. It also bothered me that women who were easy were sleeping with seemingly everyone except for me. I wanted to know why I was getting different reactions than everyone else.
Then, I heard Mystery say something about entering a group the right way (this was about 3 years ago). Then, I read some brilliant posts about how not to be reactionary. The basic idea was that the stronger frame wins (which I knew for years) but the new twist was that by not reacting, you were keeping your stronger frame. This has since become common knowledge here, and I am sure everyone reading this post knows about it. But having that knowledge, I began testing my first question about why I seemed to be getting different reactions from other people.
I experimented with approaching different situations in different ways. And sure enough, I would get different reactions depending on things that I said. I could approach the same situation in two different ways and get two different reactions. That gave me a break through- people are merely REACTING to me. Depending on what I do or don't do, that determines how people will view me.
I'm sure everyone goes on message boards, or atleast this board. And I noticed the same phenomenon. If you go on a message board and act a certain way, people will react to it. Even if you make up a handle that rubs people the wrong way, they will flame you no matter what you say (a strong reaction). I have gotten into arguments on this very site b/c either I was reacting to people or they to me (weakness from me and them). Even this site, where guys are supposed to be PUAs and have this amazing frame control, a lot are quite weak and write reactionary posts the minute their world views are challenged. Just read some of the posts made here and I bet you can find what I am talking about.
The reason I wrote this post is to share what I have found out, and also share that if you're getting bad reactions, just change the way you're approaching the situation. People are weak. A lot weaker than I ever imagined. They are not being proactive in their lives, but rather, they are being reactive. If you're not getting the reaction that you want or the respect that you deserve, try approaching these situations a different way, and you may find that you'll soon get the reaction that you want. Most people will always sit back and take what is given to them, so by you taking the lead and controlling every interaction (be it online or in person), you can begin to mold situations the way you desire. It not only works in PU but also in every other facet of life.
I'm not sure how much value this has to PU. Maybe to be a great Grand PUA, not being reactive is important. However, I see lots of guys who claim to be great PUAs on this board, and they are incredibly reactive online, and I can't imagine they would be different in person, because it is easier to hold your frame online than it would be face to face. Yet, they get laid, and some a lot. Some even think they're leaders of this community. So, being unreactive is not important to getting laid, or atleast that's the conclusion I have drawn from it. But, it might be important to getting laid with higher quality HBs, and you never know the quality of someone's HBs, as guys lie about it all the time.
In conclusion, you control the way people view you. If people are taking advantage of you, change the way you approach them and that will soon stop (field-tested). If you are being LJBF'd all the time, change the conversation threads that you talk about with HBs and you won't be anymore. Lastly, if a woman has a reputation of being easy, don't think you're getting laid or that she sleeps with everyone. Instead, figure out what those guys who laid her did to get her to react sexually, and try that.
I am still experimenting with, and trying to find, the right balance, which is why I am sharing this with everyone now. If anyone has anything they want to add to this post or other practical advice about how to react in certain situations, they definitely share it. Or, if you have any stories about ways that you changed your approach and got better reactions, share that too. I think it's very useful stuff.
