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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=83695&fid=8
There are many paradoxes in pickup. I'd like to work through them here as best we can.
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To escape the pain of past and future projections (worrying about your mistakes in the past, and worrying about getting it right in the future as though your life depends on it), we are told to live in the present moment as much as possible.
But really, what if the present moment JUST ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH?
So we have a paradox here - become present to escape the suffering of your own imagination - but be brought into a present you don't particularly want.
"Look at the trees", "Enjoy watching the birds" etc. All well and good. But there's only so much tree-watching I can do before I become bored.
In many cases, for me, the present is not good enough. So if the present is the only thing to escape to, but even that sucks, where else is there to go?
Maybe you can see why I abuse alcohol so much now.
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...you have to not care about NOT getting chicks.
And it is so true. My natural buddy gets pussy without even trying. He just doesn't care either way.
But when you are dedicating a good proportion of your life to reading about HOW TO GET CHICKS on here, it's kind of a priority to you. You are needy by default for having invested so much time in what should be a natural» and easy thing - GETTING GIRLS. But it's not natural to you, so you need to read. And reading about it all the time makes you NEEDY. When the whole premise of your night out is to apply what you learned here and try to get chicks, you are going to rate your night based on how well you did. That's a natural consequence of making this your HOBBY. If you played golf, you would make a note of whether you played below or above your average that day. The score wouldn't be meaningless to you, because you'd want some indication of how well your were progressing.
And this is not a hobby in the nice sense for me. I can play the occasional round of golf just for kicks, because I'm not dedicating that much time to getting good at it.
But this... I don't know how you guys feel, but this is like a fucking hole inside me. A matter of life and death. I need women to like me. I need to get this handled, because I don't feel complete, like I fit in, or happy if I don't feel women like me, or I can have the sex life I want (I have NEVER had the sex life I want).
So how can you come on here everyday, read read read, apply every weekend in the hope of getting good, then pretend like you DON'T NEED WOMEN?
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The FACT is: the people who are really unreactive, actually for real, don't even NOTICE the thing they're meant to be unreactive to!
In fact, being taught here "Be unreactive" - I am not sure that is helpful at all! Because you are then being unreactive as a REACTION to whatever it is that you perceive should be bothering you.
Also, here's the other problem. So something happens and the bell in your head goes "Ding ding! This is one of those things you're meant to be unreactive to!" So you ignore it, then at some point you have this urge to monitor the effect you had on it by being unreactive. So whichever way you look at it, you are still reacting to it.
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Guys, you may have noticed a common thread between every "paradox" I've described here:
Our need, as students, to monitor the results of our own actions.
PRESENCE - Brought out of presence by thinking "Am I enjoying this? Is it doing what it's meant to?" If you are thinking like that, you are not present. But without monitoring if you're enjoying it, how do you know whether it's worth your time.
NOT NEEDING GIRLS - Even on a night where you try ZERO intent you will, at some point, think "Cool - did my unneediness work? Let's monitor..." and you are back in that mindset of needing the validation because you invested time into the experiment - you want to learn, you know you need to monitor SOMETHING to see how well you did.
UNREACTIVENESS - To AMOGs, CBs, bitchy girls, bad behaviour, assholes... You want to get one over on them. Secretly you want to be unreactive because you know not even acknowledging them is one of the worst insults. And you read it here, so it must be true. But then you CHECK that it worked. They know you checked. And they knew they got to you all along anyway. They saw you pretending to ignore them, and knew they had you. Then they saw you look back at them to see if they felt the insult - and they knew you checked to see if you ignoring them worked. At no point have you been unreactive, even though it was your goal.
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Well I'm shit out of luck here. Ask someone like Tyler Durden and he'll say "More time in-field - these things are self-correcting."
Wellllllllll... they probably are. But how does that help me NOW?
The only solution I've actually witnessed in-field is to be DUMB.
To be so retarded that you have tunnel vision and can't see the negativity in the situation.
Corvette: That guy just called me a cock.
When some guy calls you a cock, or acts like a complete asshole to you for no reason, or some bitch slaps you hard like what happened to our poor friend a few posts down, I see nothing "joking" about that. Yet if you speak to a retarded natural, it will be the ONLY thing he saw.
The outlook required to beat all these paradoxes is so opposed to my natural mindset, I'm really not sure if I can ever get there.
It's like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets a crayon removed from his brain, and it turns out he's been a genius all along. Then he starts alienating everyone by being smarter than them, and he ends up putting the crayon back up his nose so he's dumb again, and presto, everyone likes him.
That episode nailed being smart SO WELL it's not even funny.
PRESENCE
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TO GET CHICKS...
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UNREACTIVENESS
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MONITORING RESULTS
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SOLUTION
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Retard Wing: He was only joking!
