The Top Pickup Artist Forum On The Internet: Fast Seduction 101

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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=84283&fid=23

As I mentioned before, I consider myself a natural. So the post I wanted to write is simple, yet advanced, because it is very important to grasp.

WARNING: THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG BUT USEFUL.

What makes a guy natural with women?

For one thing, it is positive conditioning. Your body cannot suddenly snap to all the behaviors of someone who is good with women. You need to develop new brain pathways, unconscious habits, and so forth, and forge your own path.

Secondly, having a good social circle can really skyrocket your success. By this I mean cool guys and hot girls. People well-connected to social resources. It's not just important for high school. If you get a relationship out of a cold approach, do you really want to introduce that girl to your weekly cock farm? If not, WORK to change your social situation.

Finally, how do you LEARN to be natural with women? There are all these gurus teaching structured natural game^» and all that. Vin DiCarlo has a good idea of having "the right focus", and while it's true that this is very important (e.g. don't think of the woman you just met as an adversary and be nervous, but replace that with some other focus, like being curious about her, like displaying yourself and your personality to her, and so forth), there is a simple way to become natural I'm going to discuss. If anything, approaches should not be about winning over a woman -- although this was very hard for me to give up. They should be about displaying your personality and being curious about her. And in some situations things won't work out. But when they do work out, it's because both people want to, which is WAY better than forcing someone.

That said, how can you learn how to engage a stranger and display personality? *Keep in mind . . . cold approach is not the only way to meet women!*

Here is the best way I can advise to learn natural game^»:
* Get a method (beginning of the interaction)
* Get rid of the fear (you fear the unknown end of the interaction)

In a nutshell, both of these can be obtained by doing a lot of approaches. EXPERIENCE IS THE BEST TEACHER (if you are smart, which I assume most of you are). YOU DONT HAVE TO READ BOOKS TO BE GOOD WITH WOMEN. I think Zan said he never did. Zan's a natural.

Let's look at the fear of approach first. We trade methods and techniques left and right on these boards. But many people don't go out and try them. They don't know if they will work or not, because they are afraid to fail. But why are you afraid? I HIGHLY DOUBT that Mystery's "evolutionary" explanation, that it's hardwired into us to fear approaching beautiful women, is correct. Because in other cultures, we are not so afraid -- just look at communities where young people are hooking up all the time. Because I'd feel the same "fear" of approaching Billy Joel or any celebrity. Because I'd have an EXPECTATION of something CRUCIAL and not only may I FAIL, but the failure would be PAINFUL.

This expectation may be entirely wrong! The thing to realize is that TO MY MIND, the result is UNKNOWN, or I have very little data (say, 5 approaches in my whole life), so my mind FILLS IN THE BLANK BASED ON MY BELIEFS. Notice how guys get better after they do 100 approaches. That's because they replace their beliefs.

MOST OF US HAVE FEAR OF APPROACH BECAUSE OF BELIEFS THAT DO NOT SERVE US. Some of these beliefs are accurate, but still self-fulfilling. As Ford said, "if you believe you can or you can't, you're probably right." If I think that women in general don't like to be cold-approached, then until I do 100 cold approaches my mind will fill in the blank with doom and gloom. Then after 100 approaches I may realize that YES, indeed women DON'T like to be cold approached for the most part (I have empirically verified this), but if you have the RIGHT APPROACH then they do actually like it! So with this new belief you become very powerful.

So we need a method to approach women that women like. How do we develop it naturally?

... well, I'm about to get to that. But I just wanted to point out a simple method for killing AA when approaching women:

GO UP TO A WOMAN IN A QUIET PLACE AND JUST SAY:
"You know what? Give me your phone number."
That pretty much guarantees she'll say no. As long as she doesn't leave (and she probably won't, because it's sufficiently strange that she will be subconsciously curious about why you said that), you can start handling her responses and seeing that THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. In fact, it's not even the end of the game! Watch:
"no"
"why not? why the hell not? "
"because I don't even know you"
"well you see, here's your chance. I've got to run but you seemed attractive and I'd like to get to know you."
"That's sweet, but I don't give out my phone number to strangers..."
"Oh, so you have to know someone for a few weeks before actually giving them a way to reach you.... No, that's awesome, I like that. I'm not friends with any girls who would just give out their number. And yet, I met you here, now. I'd like to get to know you on proper terms. How can we do that?"
"Well, you can have my email..."
"Really, that's so romantic. You seem like a sweet girl, I'm glad I came up to you. I don't normally do this [TRUE IN MY CASE!] but you see how much I did just to talk to you? I really have to run but I would love to call you tonight and maybe grab some drinks later in the week. You up for it?"
"My cat died..."
Anyway you see the point. She will really have to work hard to reject you. That's POWER.

By eliminating fear, you will become POWERFUL.

There are two components to pickup:
THE SMOOTH - preventing objections before they begin
and
THE POWERFUL - not letting objections throw you, many women love to "be taken".

Now let's work on the METHOD, the SMOOTH part of the pickup. Mystery is SUPER SMOOTH, and yet he still has to handle objections, i.e. be powerful.

If you don't read a single book, how do you develop a method? Easy.

Every time you see a girl, there is a pair:
{the girl + the situation}

IF ONLY THE SITUATION WAS DIFFERENT, YOU COULD TALK TO THE GIRL, right? Most of the guys in this world meet a lot of women by GETTING INTO SITUATIONS where they know how to meet them. That's what natural game^» is. But there is a natural way to improve your chances in ALL SITUATIONS without reading a lot of books. It is this approach:

WHEN YOU CHICKEN OUT MISS AN OPPORTUNITY WITH A GIRL, it is usually because you don't know what to do in that particular situation (e.g. street, walking towards you, or being in a car and she's walking by, or her being in a huge group of guys).

THE NEXT STEP is not to kick yourself for being a fuckhead and not pushing yourself. You don't want to associate bad emotions in your head with this failure, it's not productive. You don't have to be approaching 100 times a day!! No, instead you REWARD YOURSELF by thinking about that beautiful form you just saw, and START THINKING IN YOUR MIND ABOUT WHAT YOU COULD HAVE SAID/DONE in that situation. When you do this, MAKE SURE TO PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES TOO, AND IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE TO HER.

So basically the method to learn natural game^», and the point of this whole post, is:

First, eliminate fear of approach by practicing the endgame / perceived worst case. In this case it's not lethal, so do it over and over. Once you've convinced yourself it's always safe, STOP practicing.

Then, every time when you miss a serious opportunity,
Say to yourself ITS ALL GOOD, I'm a cool guy, and that is a smoking hot woman.
Say to yourself, "I didn't know what to do in that situation well enough, so I froze up."
If this situation came up tomorrow exactly the same way (like in Groundhog day), what would I do? I have all the time in the world to plan it out.
THEN NEXT TIME, YOU ARE PREPARED.
You try it out, and notice it doesn't go exactly as planned.
So then you calibrate it.

That's the natural way of learning game. That's how men learned it without advice from others. If you're decently smart you can develop your own techniques in almost any venue, to meet women. Except possibly a gay bar

Once you develop your own methods, you'll have the SMOOTH, and you will then work on ways to display POWER. Women are attracted to POWERFUL and SUCCESSFUL men. But that's a whole other post.