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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=85320&fid=8
I used my favourite place for studying social dynamics, the train station, to study tension and really try and get an understanding for what it is, and how it shapes our behaviours and interactions. I use the station because it is a place where social dynamics just play out without interference, since everyone is just trying to get from A to B and there is no pretence in the situation as there is in clubs and even daytime town centres.
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Tension is really just noticing someone, and having an uncertainty about what they're going to do next. It needn't be a "bad" uncertainty, although uncertainty is the cause of anxiety and therefore nearly all tension is perceived as something undesirable by humans - or at least something to be avoided. There is a natural inclination to want to REMOVE tension from a situation. This explains why people are so inclined towards releasing tension, e.g. laughing maniacally after telling a joke due to the uncertainty that it would get a laugh otherwise. Stand-up comics are masters of holding tension, that's why they never laugh at their own jokes - they force the audience to release their tension, and that's kind of the essence of a stand-up comedy act. I digress.
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The seed of tension is planted when you notice someone. All emotions relating to social status can be drawn from the outcomes that occur during the subsequent tension.
Outcomes:
A notices B; A focuses on B; B does not focus on A
A notices B; A focuses on B; B focuses on A
Outcomes once mutual tension is established:
Both A and B modify their behaviours in order to break tension.
A holds tension better than B; B modifies behaviour to break tension.
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If you find yourself getting jeered by gangs in town, mugged more often than seems normal, or generally "picked on" by others, all that is happening is you are focusing on the tension others are putting on you to an unhealthy degree.
They noticed you, you noticed you were noticed and became self-conscious, they noticed you became self-conscious and knew they'd found themselves an easy target. The solution: DON'T FOCUS ON OTHERS' BEHAVIOUR.
Whoever breaks tension first will be perceived by ALL PARTIES as LOWER VALUE. A will feel it, B will feel it, all the Cs and Ds watching will feel it.
Tension is the foundation of human social interaction and hierarchy.
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How you deal with any tension put on you is your personal decision. Now I have made you aware of what's going on all around you, how you react begins to become your decision.
CHOICES:
1) Modify your behaviour to release tension (also known as REACTING)
Never choose this option, unless dealing with an egomaniac who has a gun to your head.
DEALING WITH IT PROPERLY:
2) Don't focus on it (nonchalance)
They are both sides of the same coin, as they both require EXPERIENCE to get, but #2 is unreactive, whereas #3 is proactive in forcing an outcome of your decision.
#3 is the "Come on then!" that leads to things like fighting (the ultimate release of tension between two men) and GREAT SEX (the ultimate release of tension between a man and a woman).
#2 is more like a movie star's "Oh, okay."
#3 is what you need to focus on when dealing 1 on 1 with a woman. This is known as sexual tension when dealing with a woman.
#2 will be used most of the time to "not get involved" when AMOG'ing occurs, shit-tests from her friends, people trying to start fights with you etc. Anything that is not HELPFUL, you choose not to focus on.
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The conclusions are becoming apparent now.
In pickup, this is what the tension needs to look like:
-Man notices woman. Remember, tension is always started by the first person to notice the other. So the man sends his focus to the woman. It always starts like this. It has to, because men are attracted by women's looks first and foremost. Therefore IT ALWAYS STARTS WITH YOU.
-Woman notices he noticed her. A tension is established, and she immediately takes action to break the tension by looking him in the eye. This is the most basic and always the first "shit test".
-If the man looks away, he broke the tension and becomes lower value. Instant disqualification. If he pursues now, he is "creepy." If he walks away, she doesn't mind; he's already a chode.
-If the man holds her look, tension is increased. She will look away eventually. The value shift has started.
-She will shit-test him from this point on to break the tension. This is why shit-tests are unconscious - it's just her attempt to break the tension. You only PASS a shit-test if it fails to modify your behaviour.
-So, when tension is established between you and the woman, everything she does will be an attempt to modify your behaviour, and the more it fails, the more tension (read: anxiety) is created in her. At a threshold point, she will break the tension HERSELF by doing something like grabbing and kissing the man. Up until this point you would have had her laughing like a maniac as well.
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When I think back to the best sets where not only have I enjoyed it, but I've seen the woman's eyes BURNING for me, it was when I established tension early on and didn't let it go.
HB: Why aren't you drinking?
(Dots were to show how long and drawn out I was making it, with low vocal tonality - not indicating pause points for NLP, as I don't know NLP)
When I think about all the sets I lost, who just didn't seem into it, and yeah they'd make out with me but I'd have to ASK, I realize: I didn't hold the tension. I was ENTERTAINING them, but I wasn't doing the VERY BASIC THINGS to hold the tension.
So let's get to the practical application of this concept:
-Hold eye contact, especially when first noticing each other.
I've got girls to the mad laughing stage before, but always failed to push it because I COULDN'T HOLD THE TENSION (my BT got pumped and I started laughing like a jibbering moron in all cases where I've done well with this). So I personally broke the rhythm because I lacked the balls to hold the tension. At least I've identified what I need to do now.
After reading my Red Herrings post and its replies, I realized the idea of "tension" needed a little more examination.
TENSION BETWEEN PEOPLE
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NOTICING YOU NOTICED
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= B is higher value. Tension for A increases. B's tension stays the same - this is known as "being experienced". Tension is not triggered because B is used to it and does not focus on it. Think movie stars being able to ignore the social focus of many people.
= Mutual tension is established.
= This is known as "awkwardness".
= A is higher value because B reacted to A's tension.
QUICK NOTE ON "GETTING PICKED ON":
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TENSION: YOUR REACTION IS YOUR CHOICE
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3) Focus on it, but hold it ("Yeah I can handle this, but can YOU? ")
TENSION BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN
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Corvette: *Relaxed, but deep eye contact* Well... I've been thinking... very hard... about... my life.
HB: (Starts laughing mentally)
Corvette: I'm glad... you find my life... amusing.
HB: (Starts SCREAMING and CLAPPING).
-Hold tension at all times internally - do not modify yourself to relieve tension.
-Create tension and hold it by invading her space, touching her, moving in and looking at her lips.
-Move back out of her space so you're not a "creep". So move in for a while, move back out. This is the principle of RHYTHM.
-This rhythm allows you to increase tension incrementally, creating a natural progression.
-If she is laughing insanely (and it gets REALLY insane sometimes, but this is identified mainly by her laughing at things you are saying which AREN'T FUNNY) you are doing it right.
-Natural outcome? Read Cosy and Sleazy»'s LRs. These are guys who know the rhythm from experience and can seemingly induce it quickly in girls at will.
