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Original discussion thread: http://fastseduction.com/discussion/fs?action=9&boardid=2&read=85447&fid=23
I call them the 2 traps
1. Try to Reduce Sexual Tension
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Trap #1
Women seem to REWARD and ENCOURAGE you to keep doing/saying things that either
A. reduce tension
B. never give you a window of opportunity to create it
- talking
They will smile and nod, ENCOURAGING you to keep talking. They will REWARD you by "being nice to you" when you keep the vibe social.
You think because you have her "attention" you are getting closer to your goal. In reality you are moving further away.
You just fell for the trap!
Women will NEVER create a seductive vibe for you. That is YOUR job. IOW, if you don't create a seductive window, there will probably be none.
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For guys who open sets socially vs. seductively (ie. with direct EC)this becomes even more CRUCIAL
He has MUCH LESS room for error. He really does need to move from a social to a more seductive vibe ASAP. He can't fuck around with too many more teases, jokes and crazy stories.
Sometimes a SOCIAL opener (although low risk and effective for opening) can ruin your chances right off the bat.
She just can't ever again picture you as a sexy, seductive guy. Her first impression of you is as a funny guy. A clown. IOW, the price for opening the set is you lose the set.
Trap #2
It's the oldest trick in their playbook
Women will BAIT you to break rapport and blame it on you
They do this to reduce SEXUAL TENSION
If you give off the vibe that you are a threat (sexually) women will continuously try to bait you into breaking rapport with them.
If women aren't baiting you to BR
- testing you
skip this post and work on being more attractive first
* * * *
I don't break rapport much anymore
Breaking rapport is a TRAP for guys who are already coming off as attractive to women.
The community came up with all these ways to BR (ie. verbally reframing her testing as she is attracted to us) because we wanted to create tension and display VALUE.
But it's become obvious tactics like "cocky comebacks" can put some guys who are already attractive to women further away from their goal.
IMO, there are better, more SEDUCTIVE ways to create tension.
My #1 Rule:
In seduction, I don't use any tool that creates TENSION only to sacrifice RAPPORT
Here's a list of things that create TENSION (good) but break rapport (bad, for guys who are already coming across as attractive)
Cocky
Humor and teasing come natural to me because I am VERY comfortable around women.
Yes, showing her you are comfortable around women is attractive, but it doesn't always come off as SEDUCTIVE or necessarily lead to a close.
Understand, as funny as you think you are, most girls aren't going to understand your humor. As calibrated as you are, not every girl can tell that you are joking. it's awesome when you are both on the same page "humor wise" (ie. vibing) but it doesn't always happen consistently.
Women will purposely misinterpret what you say and use it against you. ie. Her frumpy friend will pretend she is "offended" and drag her away.
You think your tease was playful, she just uses it as an excuse to leave. You think you are being witty, she thinks you are being sarcastic. You think you are funny, she thinks you are being a wise-ass (or clown). You think you prize frame is confident, she think you are just cocky.
It never hurts to keep your big mouth shut.
I'm not saying to not use this stuff, if it works for you...great! But for me I am very aware of the risks involved with using these tools as my tension builders & attraction creators. So for me less is definitely more.
Instead, if you already come across as a sexual threat to women...
DIFFUSE ALL HER ATTEMPTS TO BREAK RAPPORT BY:
1. Ignoring it
or
2. With a seductive look
Girls I've closed tested me right off the bat with stuff like:
Hb: do you always go and sit with strangers?
Hb: umm...they're just hands
Hb: you are touching my leg
I bet you are salivating right now thinking of the cocky comebacks you could say if a woman said this to you
Instead...
60: hold seductive EC, sly smile, turn head away slowly
These women were baiting me to BR
They wanted me to keep being WITTY and FUNNY.
Why?
She wants to reduce the sexual tension and make the vibe between us SOCIAL
No matter how much tension my VERBAL response could potentially create, it pales in comparison to the tension that SILENCE or a seductive look would create
Don't HELP her reduce the tension!
Instead, when women test you or bait you to BR, ignore it or give her a seductive look.
This way, the more she tries to BR, the closer you get to seducing her.
Other tools that help diffuse her attempts to bait you into breaking rapport
*For attractive men only (Advanced)
- be humble
There is a nice contrast between a man who is confident enough to start a conversation with a woman and get physical quickly, but at the same time is humble, genuine and not afraid to give a compliment or apologize when he does something stupid.
But of course your bread & butter for seducing her is still to:
Assume attraction and create SEXUAL TENSION through small, SEDUCTIVE "non-verbal" escalations that make you attractive just by using them.
The escalations are attractive, show confidence, and create tension.
- seductive EC
None of these non-verbal "seductive" micro-escalations BREAK RAPPORT, but they definitely create SEXUAL TENSION!
She is definitely NOT comfortable, but you have given her no EXCUSE to reject you. She has no opportunity to try and turn the vibe back to social.
* * * *
IME, my best interactions had both Rapport & Tension. This is easier said than done. It really is a DELICATE balance that only field experience can teach you how to do.
You want to be on the same team, not battling each other. You want her to be rooting for you to succeed in seducing her. It makes everything so much easier.
Think of yourself as The Rapport-Escalator.
Based on my experiences in field, I have noticed most women will try to do 2 things in a PU
2. Bait you to Break Rapport
- being funny
- being interesting, entertaining
IMPORTANT MESSAGE
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Social Dude: Hey guys, my friend is thinking about growing a handlebar mustache...good idea?
A guy who opens sets socially has to realize he is already playing catch-up in the "being seductive" department.
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- baiting you to debate or argue with them
- questioning you
Sarcasm
Debating
Verbal prizing
Teasing
Humor
Witty comebacks
Verbal sparring
I'm just not nervous at all.
- sincere apology when called for
- genuine interest
- small compliment
- screening look
- shutting up!
- looking at lips
- pauses
- letting her restart convo
- seductive listening
- moving closer (cut space)
- leaving hand on her back
- visualizing kissing her
- HI5 & hold her hand
